


The Last Days of Bly

by CJRiley



Category: The Haunting of Bly Manor (TV)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Coming Out, Eventual Romance, F/F, F/M, Horror, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Female Character, LGBTQ Themes, Murder Mystery, Mystery, Romance, Slow Burn, Slow Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 17:41:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 52,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27730195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CJRiley/pseuds/CJRiley
Summary: Dani Clayton has a lot to untangle during the holidays in between navigating her repressed feelings for a friend and the affections of a charismatic valet determined to make the au pair his. Meanwhile, the residents of Bly Manor resolve to unravel the mystery of the curse while reflecting on the journey that brought them together.
Relationships: Dani Clayton & Jamie, Dani Clayton/Jamie
Comments: 11
Kudos: 90





	1. The Unwelcome Visitor

Winter 1996

_Could I have been any more of an idiot?_

For the past few days, Dani Clayton has been plagued with anxiety, even more than what was typical, pursuing all possible avenues to evade one particularly acid-tongued colleague at Bly Manor.

Owen Sharma, the cook, was the first to notice but chose not to broach the subject. It was Hannah Grose, the housekeeper, who uttered the first whispers around the kitchen table.

“The poor American, still getting herself acquainted.”

“Maybe if it’s her first week or two, but she’s going on three months now,” Owen replies. “The atmosphere around her has definitely shifted ever since Christmas dinner. I don’t believe she’s stepped foot outside since.”

Their chat is soon interrupted as Dani pops into to kitchen. “Morning Owen, Hannah.”

“Letting the children sleep in?” Hannah asks.

Young Flora and her older brother Miles are orphans under the guardianship of their uncle, Henry Wingrave, a workaholic chairman who paid little attention to family affairs. He had hired Dani as the Wingrave children’s au pair before leaving the American to her own devices.

“Yeah, I figure since it’s technically still the holidays,” Dani replies as Owen fixes her breakfast – a hearty helping of scrambled eggs, bangers, and mushrooms with a side of toast. “That looks lovely, thank you.”

Suddenly, Flora comes gliding into the kitchen, still dressed in her pajamas. “Miss Clayton, look what happened overnight!”

“Well what do we have here?” Dani smiles before her heart sinks into the pit of her stomach.

“Remember the snowdrop seeds we planted with Miss Corrigan?” Flora asks, hoisting a pot with a solitary flower bud in the middle. “It spouted.”

“That’s amazing Flora, but can we not discuss any plants right now?”

“Oh why not?” Hannah prods. “Wait until spring when Jamie’s lilies begin to bloom. They’re a revelatory sight to behold.”

Dani cringes, staring back at her plate. _Could this day get any worse?_

“Oi, so I’ve got bad news and bad news.” Just then, Jamie Corrigan struts in, never one to introduce herself. The gardener is petite in size but boasts a personality that belies her slender frame. “Which do you prefer first?”

“I’m sorry…Owen,” Dani stutters. “Can I take this to my room? I just remembered…I have to…” And then she vanishes.

“All right then,” Owen says, his hand still gripping the glass of orange juice he had poured for her.

“I’ll take that thanks,” Jamie grabs the glass and downs half its contents in a few gulps. “Just got off the phone with our dear leader and guess who’s back in his good graces?”

Owen’s face drops. “Peter Quint?”

“The one and only.”

“You can’t be serious.” Hannah throws up her hands. “One would’ve thought the embezzlement would seal the deal…Mr. Wingrave may be our dinner plate, but I can’t understand what he sees in that man.”

“I reckon PQ helped bury some bodies. Must be holding some fine dirt to coax himself back into a job.”

“What’s the other piece of bad news?” Owen asks.

“He’s arriving in less than an hour, and he’ll be hungry.”

“It’s a three hour drive from London, and we’re only finding out about this now? Surely Mr. Wingrave knew about this since last night.”

“Cooking for Pete is a daylong affair so I’ll leave you to it.” Jamie waltzes out of the kitchen, before turning on a heel and furrowing her brow. “What’s gotten into Poppins? That was the first I’ve seen her in days. Shall I interrogate her little gremlins? Flora?”

“You know Miss Clayton; she gets spooked easily,” Flora replies. “Want to see my flower pot?”

“Good work Flora! Let me guess…Miles’ seedling is refusing to come out.” Jamie turns her attention to Owen and Hannah. “So…any leads?”

“Dani’s…I don’t want to speculate,” Owen says, adjusting his spectacles before giving in. “Okay, the problem is you. Something clearly happened and whatever it is, you two have to make it right.”

“All right Sherlock,” Jamie replies, tugging at the silver chain around her neck. “But I can’t have a chat if she bolts at the sight of me like I’m the Bloody Mary.”

“Be kind,” Hannah advises. “We don’t want her spiraling down the path of the last caretaker.”

“Like there’s any other way I could be.” Jamie winks. Hands in her pockets, she makes her way to the au pair’s bedroom.

Dani sits beside her dresser, poking at her breakfast with a fork, rehashing the events of Christmas night yet again. _Everything was running so smoothly but no, just like everything else, I had to mess it up._

If that moment had replayed itself fifty times, in forty-nine iterations the night would have transpired differently. And now the gardener knows. Dani flops back into bed and pulls a pillow over her head. How many times must she relive the humiliation? What was she thinking?

Just as Jamie raises her hand to knock, the ring of the doorbell reverberates across the hallway. Their uninvited guest would be turning up early. _Another time, Poppins._

Owen, Hannah, and Jamie gather by the front door to receive Peter, the disgraced valet. The visitor eyes each of them suspiciously, from the forced smiles of the cook and housekeeper to the crossed arms and unenthused expression of the gardener.

“Looks like the whole Bly Manor gang is here!” Peter exclaims, his voice gravely and deep, and he shoves a suitcase into Hannah’s hands.

“What’s this?”

“My worn suits. Be a dear and complete the wash by tonight.” Before he can face any resistance, Peter turns his attention to the woman standing behind them. “And you…must be the new au pair.”

Dani’s colleagues look back in surprise as she offers a coy wave. “Dani Clayton. Welcome to Bly.”

Peter narrows his eyes before his face breaks into a wide grin. She finds him to be a dapper, lanky figure with a long face and dark, almost mystical, eyes. In the silence, even Jamie could sense the au pair’s curiosity.

“Peter Quint.” The valet finally says, reaching over to offer Dani a firm handshake. “They never mentioned the au pair would be so fetching.” He brings Dani’s fingers to his lips as a visible blush splashes across her cheeks. “Now then. Mr. Sharma, if you could get started on that luscious butter chicken curry. I believe your recipe calls for at least one day for it to simmer…”

“That’s now how we do this,” Jamie speaks up. “It’s hard enough as it is to come across that magic powder, and whatever blank check Mr. Wingrave wrote, I’m sure it doesn’t extend to treating us as slaves.”

“It’s quite all right,” Owen says. “We can all use a nice meal to lift our spirits.”

“Glad you decided to make yourself amenable,” Peter says, picking up his other suitcase and striding towards the stairs. “Mr. Wingrave said I could occupy his study so if you don’t mind, I have some research to conduct over the next few days.”

Right before taking the first step up the stairs, he turns around. “I’m sorry…Miss Clayton.”

Dani perks up. “Yes?”

“I was planning to head back to London later today. Christmas may have passed, but would you like to come along…help me pick some belated presents for the children? I can give you a tour of the city while we’re at it.”

Jamie’s eyes widen in disbelief. Who drives three hours to the countryside one morning just to make another round trip the same day? The audacity of this man.

“I don’t know,” Dani says, “I promised the children we’d finish crafting our kaleidoscopes.”

“Naturally, I would expect no less given your dedication to the job,” Peter replies. “But this was their first Christmas since the loss of their parents, and you know them better than I do, obviously. So your counsel would be appreciated…I’m positive they’d forgive you for the rain check once they open their gifts.”

“I suppose.” Dani nods. After all, this is another way of getting away from Jamie. “Let me talk to them first and get their okay.”

“Of course, Miss Clayton.” Peter grins. “You would make an excellent mother one day.”

As Dani makes a beeline to her bedroom to change, Jamie hesitates for a second before rushing after her.

“Poppins, I know things haven’t been chummy between us and we can talk about…that incident…another time but can you hear me out for a solid minute?”

“Why not?” Dani turns around, taking a deep breath. _Act normal._

“Listen. PQ…bloke’s a charmer. Chap opens his smarmy mouth and panties start dropping. Used the same line on Rebecca Jessel…you know, the governess before you? Next thing we knew, they had…this fling going on. Is it really the best idea to be hopping off in a car for six hours with a gorgeous man you’ve never even met before today? He’s not going to appreciate your quirks the way that…”

“Sorry but why should you be concerned?” Dani asks, the boldness in her voice taking herself by surprise.

“You don't know him like we do. The way he treated Rebecca...he preys on insecure, impressionable young women.” Jamie turns away for a moment. “I know it’s not any of my business and I…I don’t say this lightly to anyone…but I really care about you. And I hope you’re not just running off over something I said.”

“Don’t worry, I’m not. And I doubt Mr. Wingrave’s valet is going to risk his job just to kidnap the person looking after his boss’ niece and nephew.”

Jamie nods. “Just…be careful. He’s charismatic, nearly won me over in the beginning, but there’s a reason why smilers make me suspicious. They’re hiding something behind those grins.”

 _Is that why you don’t trust me?_ Dani reaches her bedroom door, places her hand on the knob. “Thanks for the concern, but I’ll be fine.”

“Take care, Poppins.” As Jamie returns to the foyer, she catches Peter already standing there.

“I see my reputation precedes me everywhere I go,” he says, lighting a cigarette. “You forget how easily voices travel around the manor. Them’s fighting words for an easily replaceable gardener! I could sue you for defamation. Right after I have you sacked. Unless that’s what you want?”

“Take your best shot, Mr. Quint,” Jamie replies. “But keep in mind the fiercest opponent in war isn’t the finely-dressed officer. No, you fear the side with nothing to lose.”

“Fortunately for you, I’m the better person,” Peter says, towering over his adversary. “By the way, nice work you’ve done with the gardens. Feels like you’re waiting for someone to see it, but we all know she’s never coming back.”

After Dani apologizes to the children, promising to spend more time with them the next day, Peter escorts her to his car, opening the door and complimenting her appearance. As he reaches over to tuck in a lock of hair, he observes a faint scar across her right temple.

“Were you hurt?”

“Oh…it was an accident,” Dani replies, settling into the passenger’s seat. “I’m fine now.”

“How long you think we got until Mr. Wingrave puts out the ad for a new au pair?” Owen asks, earning a playful slap in the back from Jamie, who catches Hannah’s concerned expression.

“Ay, no use worrying now,” Jamie says. “It’s like children. You warn them ’til you’re blue in the face not to mess with the electric fence, but no lesson imparts an impact quite like the second they’re zapped.”

“This is different,” Hannah replies. “I honestly believe Rebecca would still be alive today if she never met that man. And besides, it’s our Dani. We can’t help but feel protective of her.”

During their ride to the city, Peter peppers Dani with questions about her life, and he appears genuinely interested in getting to know her. But try as she might, the au pair’s mind is elsewhere, drifting back to the events of Christmas night.


	2. Christmas at Bly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Each chapter will begin with a flashback of events preceding the first chapter, while the rest continues in chronological order.

“What would you do for the rest of your life, if you knew it’s within your grasp? No unexpected consequences, no fallbacks, no risk of failure.”

They were gathered around the fireplace – Owen, Hannah, Miles, Flora, Jamie, and Dani – after a scrumptious holiday feast of roast goose, potato stuffing, pigs in blankets, mince pies, and pudding. Christmas jazz permeated the living room with festive cheer; eggnog and peppermint hot chocolate filled to the brims of every mug.

A few feet away, Hannah noted to Owen her disappointment that Henry wouldn’t be making the trip home to see his niece and nephew. Dani found her eyelids drooping after the rich dinner fare, just as she happened to sit mere inches away from Jamie.

There was something strikingly different about the gardener, an invisible force insisting this one is special. A spark the moment she strode into the kitchen and overlooked the au pair’s existence. The distinctive cheekiness, self-assured swagger, and devil-may-care attitude.

_She’ll probably find me a burden, well-meaning but too emotionally damaged to offer any meaningful relationship._

“Oi Poppins,” Jamie said. “You still there?”

“Yeah, sorry,” Dani replied, rubbing her eyes. “If I could, maybe I’d return to teaching. But with older students this time. Not that there’s anything wrong with this job – wouldn’t mind doing this a couple of years. What about you? Could you see yourself in the garden forever?”

“It’s the one thing I can carry out competently in my sleep, I suppose, so yeah. But for the very first time, I wouldn’t trade this life for anything. Heaven could hand me the keys to a kingdom, and I wouldn’t be any happier than I am right now.”

“Surely there’s got to be something else you desire.”

“Well, Mr. Wingrave pays a decent salary and I spend next to nothing after food and lodging, so I’ve been saving up. Perhaps I’ll see the world one day. For a while now, I’ve wanted to observe a moonflower in full bloom up close, but they’re damn near impossible to find in these parts. Career-wise, I have pondered what it’d be like to open my own shop. Run things myself, serve as my own supervisor.”

Owen perked up. “I can envision it now, a name for your little shop: Once and _Flor-All_.”

“Someone’s had a bit too much to drink for one night,” Hannah chuckled.

“I’d like to think I merely _rose_ to the occasion.”

Jamie rolled her eyes before turning her attention back to Dani. “I had you pegged wrong; you straight up mention a profession. I figured you American girls would be all…I want a man who’s tall and rich and handsome and together we’ll pop out enough kids to cram inside a four-by-four. Wasn’t marriage your dream from Flora’s birthday?”

“Sure, but only with the right person. Hey, don’t tell me it’s never crossed your mind. Not once?”

“Poppins, you jest! Nothing’s tying this recluse down. Just me and my plants: living organisms incapable of dictating what I can or can’t do. Why would I, in my right mind, ever surrender this tranquil life for another person?”

“But if they truly loved you, they wouldn’t get in the way of you pursuing your dreams, your passions. And if it came to it, they would let you go, even though it tears them up inside.”

“Is that what happened, with your fiancé? You mentioned him a while back, but I didn’t want to pry.”

“You still remember?” Dani covered her face in shame. “I didn’t mean to bring him up…it just slipped out.”

“My apologies, it’s none of my business. You needn’t share if the subject’s not comfortable.”

“Eddie…he loved me. So much. Nobody has ever loved me more than that man.” Dani’s voice cracked, and she felt Jamie intuitively wrap an arm around her shoulders. “I’m fine. He was a good man, even volunteered in Honduras once. Wasn’t perfect – I mean, none of us are – but wasn’t objectionable either.”

“Now there’s a high bar.”

Dani laughed, wiping tears with the back of her hand. “I know it’s a fantasy, but I don’t need a spouse. I mean, I want to get married, but what I really crave is a soulmate. You know, the type of partner who completes you, loves you as you are, without conditions.”

“Sounds exhaustive. I’m guessing Eddie wasn’t it.”

“He…died before the wedding.”

“Christ,” Jamie replied, stroking Dani’s back. “I’m so sorry. For a moment there I thought I’d have to track the bloke down, make him pay for breaking your poor heart.”

Dani laughed. “Anyways, I’m sorry if I feel distant sometimes. It’s just…Eddie and I fought right before that tragic accident. Everybody tells me it’s not my fault, but maybe if I was less selfish, if I had tried to make it work instead of imposing my needs…”

“Let me stop you there, Poppins. From the very first day I observed you working, all I ever see is you giving and giving. Sometimes I want to smack you, tell you to let the kids figure it out. But I know this isn’t just a job for you; it’s in your nature to care for others. Honestly, I reckon you’re so used to being needed and putting others first, you can’t comprehend being a receiver.”

Dani cocked an eyebrow. “It’s not like I’m some doormat people wipe their shoes on…”

“Yet I notice this pattern. And it’s endearing, really, a part of me envies how anyone could be so hopeful about humanity, giving everyone the benefit of the doubt, paying no heed to your own wants and desires.

“But allow us to take care of you sometime. When Owen asks what you want for dinner, you don’t always have to pick the simplest meal to make. If you’re tired, it’s fine to let Hannah clean up after the little gremlins. And if there’s anything you need whatsoever, that’s what I’m here for. Don’t tell anyone but…you’re one of the few who actually reduces my stress levels when I’m around you, which is a feat in itself.”

“Anything?” Dani gave a sly grin and Jamie nodded. “Even…a hug of support?”

“Ay Poppins, since when did you take me as one for affection?” Jamie started before giving her friend a light squeeze around the waist. “But if you need me to, bring me your sorrows and I’ll wring ’em out of you.”

Dani felt her heartbeat quicken from Jamie’s embrace: the gentle pull of her arms, her familiar musky scent, the comforting warmth radiating from her chest. It came as a relief they were both women, or the hug could have aroused suspicions.

To Jamie’s surprise, Dani settled into the embrace, longer than the gardener would have expected. Yet the au pair’s receptiveness fed into her doubts…as though she wasn’t any more of a freak than she already was. Not to mention the paranormal sightings that left her body convulsing and her limbs tingling as fear clawed at her chest.

“Ay, these hands haven’t seen enough hard labor,” Jamie quipped, observing their grip. “They’re the texture of a scholar’s.”

Dani looked down in surprise, wondering at what point they had started holding hands and if she should pull away. While their hands were similar in size, Dani’s remain smooth while Jamie’s were calloused, weathered from years of outdoor toil.

“Right then, we best be getting along.” Jamie stood up, ushering an abrupt end to the holiday festivities. “Sharma, while I’m relieved you’re sober enough for pun-making, I’m the designated driver tonight.”

Hannah guided Owen towards Jamie’s truck and offered him some parting words. Meanwhile, Dani escorted Jamie outside and found her hand naturally slipping back into the gardener’s.

“Thanks for…everything,” Dani said. “Those moments when you’d offer support and words of assurance…it means a lot.”

“I should be thanking you for all of your help in the gardens,” Jamie replied. “You know, the lot of us weren’t very close before you came along, nosing into our business. You never even bothered to call us by our surnames.”

“Hey, how was I supposed to know? That’s how I referred to my colleagues at school.”

“But now look at us. We’re all on a first name basis with each other. And the children…I didn’t anticipate they’d become whole again so soon. Miles and Flora, they’ve never been more active and confident, all thanks to you.”

As they were about to part ways, Dani took the moment to observe Jamie, her body framed in moonlight, the wind rustling through her curly hair…and Jamie turned around with a confused expression. Would Dani finally release her hand?

“Merry Christmas,” Dani muttered before stretching her arms around Jamie’s waist. And the gardener could sense it – this was not a simple hug of friendship. The au pair was exerting every part of herself, even swayed a few times as she clung onto her friend. The embrace conveyed a request for permission from another lonely soul to face the world together.

Finally, Dani forced herself to let go and stared at pavement below.

“Are you going to be all right?” Jamie asked, placing a hand on her friend’s arm. “Listen, you’re doing great, and I hope you realize just how much you’re wanted here. We’re all looking out for you. Owen, Hannah, the kids. Me. We’re just worried sometimes…”

“Look, Jamie I…” Dani found her hands latching onto Jamie’s shoulders, their faces now closer than ever before. What was possessing her, flooding her with such unfulfilled, burning want? “I just…” With all her courage, she pressed forward, capturing the gardener’s upper lip with hers, amazed by how soft it was…

Until Jamie gently pressed her friend back so they could fully process the situation. “Woah there, Poppins!”

Dani snapped back to reality. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to…” Had Owen and Hannah seen them? No, they were still wrapped up in conversation.

“I get it,” Jamie said. “This all feels new and exciting, like you’re in summer camp. New country, new people, throw in the holidays to top it all off…easy to get swept up in the moment. But if I must say so myself, there’s still a lot you need to figure out, as do I.”

_You really think that’s what this is?_

“I wish you luck finding your soulmate.” As Jamie reached for the door of her truck, the specter resurfaced: Eddie’s ghostly image splashed across the window, blood splattered across his shirt and luminous orbs in the place of his spectacles.

Dani gasped as shock reverberated across her body, her heartbeat rammed into her throat, and sensation withdrew from her legs. She instinctively grabbed Jamie by the collar to pull her backwards towards safety, however only she could bear witness to Eddie’s specter.

“Christ, you can’t have enough of me woman?”

With her heartbeat still thumping in her throat, Dani finally released her friend. With that, Jamie stepped into the driver’s seat without so much as a good night. Then again, she almost never offered any salutation wherever she went, but on this particular night it felt especially cruel.

What did Jamie make of Dani’s reaction? It wasn’t even like her to act with such daring! Why didn’t the gardener offer some assurance, anything, after viewing such bizarre behavior? It was terrible enough the au pair tried to kiss her colleague…a colleague who also happened to be a woman.

And now Dani blew it, their chance at friendship and normalcy, months of attempts at bonding undone.

***

It is drawing close to midnight when Peter and Dani finally arrive back at Bly Manor.

Dani isn’t sure what to make of all the attention she received – never before had she felt more important as Peter bought her new outfits and treated her to a fancy dinner. Initially she declined…and declined and declined. Nothing in this life is free, her mother liked to remind her, and all gifts come with the expectation of something in return. But nobody says no to Peter Quint, and he repeatedly assured her nothing would make him happier than for her to accept his generosity.

After the car parks along the driveway, Dani exits the vehicle and heads towards the trunk.

“Let me handle that,” Peter says. “It’s freezing out, so you’d better head inside.”

“You sure? I don’t mind…”

Peter now stands in front of her, a ravenous grin on his face. And before she can fully comprehend the situation, he places his hands over her jaw and gives her a peck on the forehead. “I don’t mind at all. I’ll see you inside.”

Dani rushes to the door, her heart pounding. Had she….actually enjoyed that?

Most importantly, Peter supplied living proof she isn't a freak. Here stood a strapping fellow she actually felt a connection to…even more so than with Eddie. The valet radiates confidence and charm; many a woman would gladly offer anything to swap positions. And she had actually enjoyed their conversations, found them to be quite riveting.

“Miss Clayton, back in one piece as promised.” Peter steps inside the manor after Dani. “The gang’s still awake?”

“Mrs. Grose said we could stay up and wait,” Flora says. “Besides, Miss Clayton promised to read a story to make up for ditching us today.”

“So you actually completed what you set out to do?” Jamie asks, strolling into the foyer.

Peter smirks. “As a matter of fact, we come bearing gifts. Milo, Florence…” Jamie rolls her eyes. “Look what Santa Quint got you.”

The children rush to the living room as Peter lays out the presents. For Miles, it is easy to deduce the gift through the wrapping: an acoustic guitar, complete with beginner’s sheet music.

“You can thank your nanny,” Peter tells him. “She told me you wanted to become the Beatles someday.”

“But…I never learned how to play.” Miles glances across the room.

“I’ll teach you,” Jamie offers. “Been years since I last picked one up, but I’m sure it’ll come back to me.”

“My present is even better,” Flora says, tossing the wrapping aside and revealing a telescope set.

“Now what do we say to Mr. Quint?” Dani asks, and the children deliver their thanks.

“I’ll be retiring for the night,” Peter says, gripping Dani by the shoulders. “I had a magnificent time with you.”

“Likewise. You’re…not what I expected.”

“Surprised to find me more than just a pretty face? If you’re not tired later, we could always…” Peter grins, but his expression quickly dissolves as he grabs his neck.

“What’s wrong?”

“It felt like a mosquito pricked me…never mind. Sleep well, my darling.”

An hour later, after the children had been tucked into bed, Jamie enters the foyer to find Dani tinkering with the telescope.

“You still here?” Jamie asks.

“I could say the same,” Dani replies. “You could stay over, if you want. Wouldn’t want you falling asleep at the wheel, and I’m sure Mr. Wingrave won’t mind.”

“Ay, but PQ would,” Jamie says. “Anyhow, I figured I should unclog the sink before morning so Owen can get back to churning out our favorites.”

“Explains all the banging noises. For a moment there, I thought it was the ghosts.”

“Yeah. So…you’re setting this up for Flora now even though she can’t use it until tomorrow night?”

“At least this way I can test it first,” Dani replies. “Join me outside?”

“In this weather? No thanks.”

“I’ll let you borrow a jacket from my closet. C’mon. How many cloudless nights do you find like this one?”

Well, this was the closest they had to a real conversation in days. Had Peter infused the au pair with newfound confidence?

Five layers are not enough to cope with the nighttime breeze, but Jamie suppresses her impulse to complain. Dani positions the telescope in the driveway and adjusts the knobs before waving the gardener over for a look.

Jamie leans over and squints into the eyepiece. “What do we have here?”

“That’s the moon.”

“Is that right? I was expecting something akin to a shiny coin, but this resembles more of a pale melon with dark splotches.”

“Really fills you up with awe, doesn’t it? How little we know about our universe.” Dani holds up the guidebook. “Want to see what planets we can find?”

It is easy to forget the frigid temperatures as they take turns gazing at the nighttime display before the lens frost over.

“What’s incredible is even in the daytime, all of this, it’s still out there, but we can’t see it,” Dani says, her expression hopeful. “Can you imagine everything else in life we’re missing?”

“Like ghosts?” Jamie replies. “Sorry, too soon?”

“I was thinking more like love and freedom,” Dani says. “But I’m not alone, right? In feeling this place is haunted? You’ve mentioned it has a reputation.”

“I hear pieces here and there. The last groundskeeper was apparently spooked, but for the record the most supernatural element I’ve encountered is how quickly the weeds multiply. Doesn’t surprise me Mr. Wingrave never warned you about Bly’s reputation. Probably why he was looking for a foreign caretaker.”

Dani fidgets with her hands, debating whether or not to bring up the topic. “At least twice I’ve woken up to these muddy footprints across the stairs and hallways.”

“The children, you’ve got to discipline them…”

“I’ve examined the size – they’re larger than any of us here except perhaps Owen, and since when do Miles and Flora ever step barefoot in the mud? The first night in my bedroom, it literally felt like two spirits were duking it out, one good and one evil. And did I tell you I once found Flora talking in the cellar? When I asked her who that was, she said her parents reveal themselves from time to time. I know we cope with trauma in different ways but…”

“Their parents…died here,” Jamie says. “Theory goes the father drowned the mum before shooting himself. Whole story was odd beginning to finish, like Miss Jessel’s death being ruled a suicide by drowning. But then how did she manage to bruise her neck?”

“From my very first day here, I began seeing him…Eddie.” Dani’s voice hitches.

“Dead fiancé?”

“He’s like this ghost who appears in mirrors, windows…watching me, haunting me for causing his death. I’m sure this makes me sound like a lunatic, and maybe I am, but it’s like he’s with me whenever I’m at Bly. Only when I leave, when I’m with Peter, does that ominous feeling lift…”

“To be honest, I’ve always been a skeptic, least of all in ghosts. Come to think of it, when I first started at Bly I could’ve sworn I’d see a lady swinging from a noose, always from far away, and that lasted for about a year. The deceased can be a traumatizing sight, and my skin would break out in hives every time I saw her. In any case, who am I to diminish your experience? If you say you see him, I trust that’s your reality.”

Dani nods, her eyes gazing back at the manor. “Jamie, I’m sorry about…that night. And for all the days I avoided you afterward. I don’t know what got into me, and I could blame it on the food coma or the ghosts but that decision to kiss you was mine alone. I can respect it if you’re not into…you know…”

“How would you have reacted if your colleague wove a sad story about her dead male fiancé with a speech about soulmates before making a pass at you all in the same night? It’s a lot to take in.”

“There’s no excusing what I did. All I ask for is another chance, to get things back to normal.”

“It’s all good, Poppins. I reckon I was a tad cold, but only because I didn’t want us getting hurt in the end. In case you’re worried, I won’t breathe a word to anyone unless you want me to. I get it, can be lonely as the black sheep.”

As Jamie walks to her truck, Dani follows closely behind and reaches into her jacket pocket. “I saw something today that reminded me of you. Rest assured, it came from my salary not Peter’s – he doesn’t even know I’d snuck off.”

Dani’s heart swells as Jamie accepts the gift, opens the bag, and smiles. “Ay, new gloves.”

“You’ve mentioned yours were too thick to properly feel the plants, and these seem both protective and comfortable. Do they fit?”

“Like a glove.” Jamie winks, slipping them on. “It wasn’t necessary to grab me anything, but you clearly possess a knack for gifting.”

“I just feel bad, you know, since you got me a Christmas present and I hadn’t.”

“But I gave everyone a potted holly.”

“Still, I really appreciated it.”

“Poppins, you’re quite something, you know that?”

Dani blushes, playfully bumping her friend with her shoulder. “Have I restored your faith in humanity?”

“You can’t bring back what was never there.” Jamie stops herself. “Very well, maybe for one night. You’d best get back inside before turning into an icicle. Have a good one, you hear? Try not to stay up all night thinking of PQ.”

“I’ll do my best.”

 _That was it?_ Well, if friendship is all that could be expected, Dani resolves to soak up as much as she can.

Before entering her truck, Jamie turns around one final time. “Look, New Year’s Eve is coming up and…there’s something I want to show you. I mean, I was planning to spend it with the leaflings but if you’d like to tag along after dinner…I’ll be waiting at the greenhouse.”

“Count me in.”


	3. The Guardian of the Estate

It was just like her to plunge into rash, life-altering directions. Six months ago, Dani found herself locked in a Heathrow Airport bathroom stall, bawling her eyes out. What was she even doing here? She didn’t know a single soul, and her guilt over Eddie’s passing continued unabated.

Over the next three months, Dani would see her savings dwindle as she hopped around London responding to classifieds, with one particular job that stood out.

The position at Bly came as a godsend. But when Dani called her mother to relay the good news, the subject was entirely ignored.

“I found you a nice boy from church; this one has excellent skin.”

“Mom, I’ve already told you why I can’t!”

“You can't let his passing hold you back forever. You’re going on twenty-five, and it doesn't get any easier to conceive with age! Stop running and come home.”

 _I’m not running! This isn’t about him! You never believe me._ Dani bit her tongue, nodded off to the rest of her mother’s monologue, and hung up.

Bly proved a stark contrast from the hustle and bustle of London streets. The first thing that struck Dani was the fresh, crisp air that filled her lungs. The dazzling sunsets, the refreshingly slower pace of life. The overwhelming silence of the sleepy grounds.

And then there were its residents: rambunctious Miles and precocious Flora, easily-likable Owen and Hannah, and then there was Jamie, someone so incredibly wise, quick-witted, street smart…qualities the au pair was not. Everything about the gardener, from her easygoing laugh at the kitchen table to her laser-like focus at work, only served to bolster her mystique.

Yet Jamie paid little heed to the new hire. In fact, every time Dani said hello, the gardener would simply nod politely. If Jamie was “the one,” she displayed not an iota of interest in playing the part.

Two weeks into her tenure at Bly, Dani found herself trapped inside a sandstorm. A sea of gray pellets rained from overcast skies as the harsh terrain threatened to devour her legs. In the distance, she observed the frame of another human being, his body cast in shadow, a pair of incandescent moons for eyes that pierced into her soul.

Dani gasped, her arms ready to attack, and her heart raced as she jolted awake in her empty bedroom. As soon as she slipped out of bed, she unwittingly glanced at her dresser mirror – half-exposed after the blanket covering it had partially fallen overnight.

Again, she was forced to come face-to-face with Eddie’s specter…she felt his icy grip on her right shoulder as panic wrecked havoc in her stomach, sensation deserted her legs, and the stench of rotting flesh made her nauseous.

_Join me._

Dani screamed, bolted into the foyer, and bounded up the stairs. She stormed past the children’s bedrooms, where they were likely sound asleep at this hour, and headed straight to the parapet. She stepped out into the chilly, early morning air and rested her hands against the brick wall. She peered over the ledge and surveyed the fair distance standing between her and the driveway underneath.

_What freedom you would taste to actually jump! The pain won’t last long, if there’s any at all. You’re half-alive anyways, why not be done with it? Be rid of your agony. Join me, Danielle._

_No._ Her mind fought back, attempted to reason with the malevolence. How would her mother feel about the death of her only child? What about Miles and Flora? They’ve already lost so much.

Minutes pass. One part of Dani advised her to go back to bed while the other pressed her to stay put and consider her options. Her misery was never going to cease, was it? Each day passed the same way – her sense of taste dulled to even the most savory foods, her hair remained stubbornly greasy even after washing it, and sleepless nights left her exhausted into the next day.

_Join me!_

“You all right there?”

Dani turned 90 degrees and staggered back, one hand clutched over her chest as she hyperventilated. She hadn’t realized how violently she had been shaking as a tingling sensation swept her limbs.

“Tell me what you see,” Jamie said calmly.

“Um…the sky. Clouds, the manor…”

“Tell me what you hear. What can you touch?”

“I hear…the wind. The birds. Your voice. I feel…the floor, the wall, these vines…” Dani found Jamie offering a hand and took it, standing back up. “Your wrist…”

“Now breathe, nice and slow, through your diaphragm. Exhale with your mouth. That’s good. You gotta let it out sometimes.”

“You mean shout it out? At this hour?”

“Or we can try a few exercises. Come with me.” Jamie stepped back inside the manor and demonstrated a few jumping jacks and pushups, inviting her colleague to do the same. “Does that feel a little better?”

“Why…why do you think…?” Dani panted. “How did you know?”

“I come in early on Thursdays,” Jamie explained. “How about you get washed up, and I’ll meet you in the kitchen in a bit?”

“In case you’re wondering, I wasn’t intending to kill myself.”

"Didn’t say you were. But I sensed you were caught up in a tough spot. I’ll see you in twenty?”

 _Great, so now Jamie knows what a basket case I am._ What if she gossiped to the others about what she’d witnessed? Dani could hear the derisive laughter, their bets over how long the au pair would last at Bly, just as she was earning their respect.

Dani envisioned digging a hole to bury herself in shame, but she was expected in the kitchen. She entered the bathroom and wiped her face, realized her cheeks were stained with tears and Jamie had probably already noticed.

After washing up, she slipped on a sweater, took a deep breath to calm herself, and meandered out of her bedroom.

“Hope Owen doesn’t mind me nicking the last of his cinnamon,” Jamie said as she scraped a generous helping of butter with a knife. “This’ll make you feel better, or you get a refund.”

Despite her lack of appetite, Dani sampled Jamie’s porridge intending to humor her. The gardener steeped a pot of tea before placing a piping hot mug beside her colleague.

“Ay, not too bad isn’t it?” Jamie winked. “An old recipe, my perfect hangover breakfast. And here’s a cup of Rosy Lee with a dash of honey, since you Yanks are so fond of sugar.” Jamie took a seat across the kitchen table. “Now, the gremlins…they giving you a hard time?”

“It’s not…that.” Dani stopped herself – she had never shared what was bothering her, least of all with someone she met not too long ago. But this morning the gardener displayed none of her usual cheekiness and if anything, provided more support and comfort than anyone ever had since Eddie’s funeral.

“It’s like…I can’t even focus or concentrate,” Dani said. “Anxiety and negativity are all that’s waiting for me, day after day, proof I’m still capable of feeling. Sorry, I’m not trying to be evasive, just not ready to discuss everything. So…how do you keep it all together?”

“What makes you think I ever did?” Jamie laughed. “Those who appear to have it together are only experts at fooling people. Ay, I have my lion’s share of issues I had to work through. For one, I inherited my father’s vicious temper. I can be a terror to those who cross me, though I’ve mellowed considerably since arriving at Bly.”

“That’s hard to imagine coming from you. I kind of wish we knew each other sooner. You’d help me fend off the bullies at grade school.”

“And you’d be the sweet little girl who shares your potato crisps and tries to make friends with everyone.” Jamie glanced at the clock. “Well, I’ve got to finish installing the screens to guard the plants against the coming frost.”

“Of course, I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

Jamie strode towards the doorway and turned around. “You know how you say hello to us like five times a day? Once in the morning would be perfect, and maybe a nod afterward. But I figure, it’s a well-meaning American gesture.”

“Yeah, well I’m full of American-isms,” Dani replied. “But I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Look, if anything your friendliness is an asset. The children…we’ve all noticed a difference. A positive one. So keep up the good work, Mary Poppins.”

The gardener wasn’t unkind, just different, with alternative ways of showing concern. Almost as though she feared being liked in return. And the warmth Jamie demonstrated that day lifted Dani’s spirits, made her feel like she wasn’t alone, that maybe she can do this.

And one day I’ll return the favor, she vowed.

A week later, Owen decided the colder weather marked the perfect time for ice cream-making with the children.

“You sure enjoy watching him in the kitchen,” Dani discerned as Hannah gazed at the cook.

“It’s like magic when he drifts into that state of flow, the way he tosses in the powder and spices,” Hannah grinned. “Never consults a recipe book, never second guesses. Wait a minute…Jamie put you up to this? Always trying to set Owen up…”

“She didn’t, and I don’t meant to pry. After all, you are married right?”

“By that you mean Mr. Grose.” Hannah’s pleasant demeanor evaporated. “He’s an older gentleman, a naval officer from a few towns over. I left Bly to build a life with him for a number of years. Then he met a bartender half his age during a trip to Bradford, and they grew closer and closer until he ended up in her lap. Still with her now.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Oh, don’t be. We never formally divorced, something to do with him keeping his full pension. Besides, I find enough fulfillment in this job and a spare room at Bly. By the time the Wingraves took me back, Jamie had already started. Owen was hired earlier this year.”

“How come they never join us for dinner or stay the night in one of the guestrooms?”

“Owen had his mother to care for. She passed shortly before you arrived, but I suppose it’s a matter of habit. As for Jamie…I don’t know.”

“Is she married?” Dani found herself blurting out.

“Oh heavens no. That woman’s not one to be tied down with anybody. Gold will rain before she ever waltzes in sporting a ring around her finger.” Hannah took a sip of her tea. “Now, if she ever gives you a hard time, you take it straight up to me.”

“Not at all. I mean, initially I was certain she hated me, but she’s actually helped me out a couple times. What do you know about her?”

“Your description sounds about right. Jamie may be a solitary woman, but I’ve never seen her act selfishly. I swear she’s got this sixth sense of when people are in trouble, and there’s no one I’d rather have in my corner in my time of need. Woman makes me laugh so hard sometimes it makes my ribs hurt. If she had a flaw, I’d say she often thinks too much, to the point it overcomplicates matters.

“The Wingrave mother’s death hit her the hardest, after the children. She called Jamie her loyal stray. But don’t ask me…why don’t you reach out sometime? It‘ll take time for her to thaw, but she’d appreciate the effort.”

The gardener was an enigma all right. Maybe their association would never morph into anything more, but what harm could come from clinging onto a state of innocent fascination?

***

“Looks like Mr. Wingrave’s not joining us for New Year’s Eve either,” Owen says, hanging up the phone.

“The poor children,” Hannah sighs. “He should at least phone them for one night.”

“Lucky for them, they have Uncle Pete for one more day.” Peter strides into the kitchen, one hand lifting a puppy and the other plucking a strawberry off the chocolate sponge cake on the table. “Boss wants me back in London to close a deal.”

“What are you doing, Mr. Quint?” Hannah asks.

“If none of you are touching it…”

“Miss Jessel’s grandmother shipped it over. Apparently Mr. Wingrave never sent the memo.”

“Well clearly she isn’t here to savor it so why allow a perfectly fine cake to go to waste?” Peter stuffs the strawberry in his mouth.

“Because it wasn’t intended for us.”

“Good morning everyone.” Dani enters in her usually cheery demeanor, ushering in a bleary-eyed Miles and Flora. “How’s everyone doing? And who’s this precious cutie?”

“You talking about me or the pup?” Peter smirks and hands the puppy off to the delighted children. “Golden retriever, rescued him straight from the pound. Name’s Biscuit.”

As Miles and Flora take turns holding the puppy, Peter turns to the au pair. “Now aren’t you looking radiant as ever? How’s your schedule tonight? I made dinner reservations with an old business partner…swankiest place in town, exquisite Italian cuisine…one taste will whisk you straight to Venice. He had to bail last minute, but we still have to eat.”

“I don’t know,” Dani replies. “I was looking forward to what Owen prepared for us tonight.”

“Ask them to save you a plate,” Peter says. “Have they ever taken you out to town? You’re not the least bit curious?”

It was true that for all their camaraderie, none of her colleagues had offered to show her the outside community surrounding Bly Manor. Dani recalls her recent trip to London and the interesting change in scenery it provided.

“I’ll have you back home in time to celebrate New Year’s with the children. What do you say?” Peter stares earnestly at Dani, and she faces the children, gauging their response.

“You ought to enjoy a nice holiday once in a while,” Miles says. “I’m not just saying this to play video games all night.”

“Will you bring us back dessert?” Flora asks. “I do love a good tiramisu.”

Dani turns her gaze back to Peter. “All right, but you can’t keep springing these get-togethers on me last minute, buddy.”

“I’ll be sure to make it up to you, my dear. See you in the foyer at half past seven?” Peter takes her hand and kisses it before departing.

“He came in waiting for her,” Hannah whispers to Owen. “If we’re not careful they’ll be married by Easter, and I was taking a liking to this one.”

“Have a little faith; our American will see through him in time,” Owen whispers back before disappearing into the pantry.

“Perhaps you’ve forgotten the heart is a separate organ from the brain,” Hannah wants to respond but instead relaxes into her seat.

Suddenly, Dani slaps her forehead. “Gosh, darn it. When’s Jamie coming in today?”

“We invited her over tonight,” Hannah says. “She’s got the day off, same as you.”

“Okay, I’ll rush back after dinner…she invited me to join her…actually, I don’t know what she had in mind. Could you tell her to wait for me in the living room until I return? I wouldn’t want her freezing outside.”

“Not a problem. Dani, you know I prefer actually getting to know a person before someone colors my impression, but…Peter Quint’s more than just Mr. Wingrave’s valet. More like…a fixer. His jobs are atypical, and…if he asks you for anything, please be careful.”

“I will, but he only seems to crave companionship. And I have wanted to see what life’s like around the area, nice as this estate is. Don’t worry; I’ll be fine.”

After breakfast, Hannah marches up to Henry’s study on the second floor and presses the door open.

“Ever heard of knocking?”

“What do you want with the au pair, Mr. Quint?” Hannah enters the room, her arms crossed.

“Just giving her a proper British welcome.”

“There’s always a price with you. When do you plan on disclosing the embezzlement?”

“What is there to discuss? Baseless accusations…”

“I saw what you were doing in Charlotte’s bedroom, purloining the family jewels. That’s Flora’s inheritance. And now you’re treating the au pair on company money, I presume. Keep this up and she’ll think you fancy her.”

“What if I am?”

“How did your last girlfriend drown?”

“Here you go again with your nonsensical ramblings.” Peter moves to the door and shuts it.

“You tried recruiting Miss Jessel as an accomplice to your schemes. Perhaps she uncovered something she shouldn’t have?”

“Do not mention her name. She is off limits for discussion.”

“She told me she feared for her life,” Hannah replies, looking out the open window. “Said she wrote a confession, days before she died. Instructed me to release it if something happened.”

“Oh, then why didn’t you? Do you even possess said confession? Put up or shut up, woman.”

“This is my only warning, Mr. Quint. Leave Miss Clayton be. We all care for her, very much so, and if you hurt her, I swear…”

“You’ll do what?!” Peter barks, his face contorting with rage. “Expose me? You think I’m frightened?”

“Angry, are we now?” Keeping her composure, Hannah heads towards the door. “Where’s that gentleman we saw earlier, seducing the au pair?”

“Do not underestimate what I’m capable of,” Peter seethes as his eyes glimpse a walking cane with a diamond encrusted top. “You have no idea…”

Peter is different at dinnertime, troubled, his disposition night and day from his first rendezvous with Dani, where they had bonded over childhood dreams of becoming the next James Bond and recurring nightmares of being unprepared for exams.

“So I grew up in Iowa, farm country, but went to college in neighboring Illinois,” Dani says over plates of pasta and veal. “What about you? You’re always asking about me.”

Peter snaps back to the present. “Well, I don’t want to be one of those men who only talk about themselves.”

“Don’t be silly. You’re one of the best listeners I know. Not a trait you find every day.”

“You know what I like about you?” Peter smiles, and Dani perks up. “You’re stunningly beautiful, simply ravishing.”

“I don’t seem…sad or depressed?”

“Why should you be? Who would dare torment someone as lovely as you?”

“Not to sound cocky, but…is there anything else besides my looks?”

“Most definitely! There’s simply…too many qualities to count. How about another round of champagne?”

“I don’t want to impose on your budget. Shall we take the desserts back to the children and call it a night?”

Peter pays the check and after multiple offers to treat Dani to drinks are declined, they start off on the path home. Overall it’s another satisfying night, one of her best so far in England, even as something remains suspiciously off about the valet.

Jamie had never spoiled her with such flattery and extravagant gifts, while Peter all but worships the ground she walks on. Yet Dani couldn’t help but notice the difference between the valet’s answer and what the gardener had told her last Christmas.

_You’re giving. You brought us together. It’s in your nature to care for others._

Finally, the outline of Bly Manor materializes as Peter’s car comes to an abrupt halt along the driveway. As Dani rushes to the front door, hoping to catch Jamie, Peter stops her. “I wanted us to end the night with this. May I?”

Peter reveals a necklace from his pocket and clasps the chain around Dani’s neck. She takes a moment to fondle the dark marine, tear-shaped pendant.

“I don’t think I’ve ever worn anything this elegant. What gem is this?”

He pauses. “It’s uh…what’s this called? Don’t have the name off the top of my head. Just kept thinking of how gorgeous you’d look in it. Matches your lovely blue eyes.”

Peter strokes the back of Dani’s head before leaning over to kiss her lips, and his sudden display of passion catches her off guard. The last and only person she’d shared a real kiss with was her fiancé and…well, this is actually not bad in comparison. Maybe in this universe, someone this accomplished could fall hard and fast with a lowly au pair.

Then the valet starts pawing at her waist. Could he not sense her unease? Perhaps he’s unfamiliar with women not reciprocating his affection. Dani presses at his chest, lightly at first, then harder, but he refuses to budge.

Seconds later, Peter inexplicably breaks away, his face petrified as he turns around, only to be greeted with nothingness.

“Listen, I’m flattered, but this is moving way too fast…” Dani says.

“Think about it,” Peter replies, returning his attention to her. “That’s all I ask. It’s not like we need to get engaged right away.”

“Well, that was a wonderful night. I guess we’ll see each other next year?”

“How could you suggest such a thing after all I…”

“Because today is New Year’s Eve.”

Peter laughs. “Well I look like an idiot. Until we meet again, Miss Clayton.” He kisses her knuckles before returning to his car for the long trip ahead.

Dani reaches the front door, jams her key into the lock, and hurries inside, praying it isn’t too late.


	4. The Lady in the Lake

Peter made his discovery last winter, back when he was still in Henry’s good graces, after admonishing Miles and Flora for leaving their “bloody prints” all across the manor. That’s when they first confessed what they knew about the Lady in the Lake and her victims who still inhabit the premises.

The valet had dismissed the children then, but he wasn’t the first to hear rumors of the manor’s haunting. The father, Dominic Wingrave, once mumbled about the family leaving in a heartbeat if anyone was willing to take the cursed estate from their hands.

“I’m ruined,” Henry had told Peter soon after his affair was uncovered. “Dom’s plotting to oust me from the company, right this minute. The House of Lords wouldn’t possibly admit me.”

“Quit your griping,” Peter replied, seated across his boss at the office. “Who are they to judge? You’re far from the first to shag his brother’s wife.”

“You must fix this. Whatever it takes. Catch him with a prostitute, anything.”

“Man’s clean as a whistle, I’m afraid. Besides, no dirt I have on him will ever erase his feelings about you.”

“Then find out what it is he wants.”

“What he wants is nothing short of your complete humiliation and utter destruction.”

“Peter! I can’t live with this…if word gets out…I’d sooner take my own life.”

“A tad dramatic. You know what I’d give for the chance to be passed over for a peerage? But perhaps there’s something I can do.”

“Anything, any price.”

“Oh, I’ll name it. But first, promise me one thing. You must never forsake me. I will remain at your right side.”

“I couldn’t imagine anyone more qualified. Thank you, Peter. And as always, this conversation…”

“…Never happened.”

And so Peter set his plan in motion and made several overnight trips to Bly, waiting for the Lady to appear. By spring she finally emerged in the darkness of the night. Peter cautiously tailed her movements inside the manor before racing ahead to unlock the Wingrave’s bedroom door.

But it was not Dominic who the Lady took. Instead, his wife Charlotte gagged against the lady’s unyielding grip while her husband chased the spirit, demanding she be freed. Peter watched in horror as the specter continued unimpeded, seemingly godlike in her invincibility, all the way to the lake, where her victim would meet a watery tomb.

The skies were turning bluish-gray in hue, and Peter feared he would not have enough time to finish the job. So he ambushed Dominic, who in his anguish failed to notice his assailant firing once against his temple. The deed complete, the valet transferred the weapon, a vintage revolver from the Wingrave’s collection, into the victim’s hand before pushing him into the lake.

“What have you done?!” Henry later bellowed into the phone. “What the hell have you done?!”

“Cleaned up your bloody mess, that’s what I did,” Peter replied. “Spousal homicide and suicide, the coroner ruled.”

“I never wanted it to escalate this far…She wasn’t supposed to die.”

“Your exact words to me were whatever it takes. You can’t readjust the conditions after you get what you asked for. Your problem is fixed, your reputation intact.”

And what could Henry do? Peter knew too much, and now it was time to cash his blank check. Before the end of spring, a governess would be hired, one Miss Rebecca Jessel.

Summer love, a timeless romance.

Rebecca had heard the rumors about Bly Manor, but any misgivings were easily trumped by her need to save up for law school. Henry had his doubts on the comely college graduate and aspiring barrister, but Peter was taken by the plucky candidate and pushed for her hiring.

Peter was unstoppable now, or so he thought. There was no conceivable way Henry would sever their relationship for it could implicate him in the deaths of his brother and sister-in-law. Initially, the valet viewed Rebecca as a means to an end, a manipulable partner in crime to access the estate’s priceless artifacts while he treated himself to the company’s bank account.

Rebecca was hesitant at first, but Peter convinced her he was in love. _Do it for me, just this once. I’ll never ask this of you again._ But there would always be a second time, and a third.

Bly was a grand estate befitting that of a grand master, Peter thought to himself. It really wasn’t fair how birth trumps talent when it came to success. He could see himself striding down the hallways, servants at his beck and call…what did they have now but disloyal domestics who whispered behind his back, leftovers from the previous owners.

But the Lady that stalked the grounds of Bly. That would be a problem. What if ghosts could talk? What if they deduced he had doomed the Wingraves to their untimely demise?

Then Peter noticed Flora making trips down to the cellar. She would talk to her mother, the girl said, and the valet felt himself panicking. But no…how would the mother know of his deed?

“Remember, you can’t tell anybody,” Peter told Flora. “No one will believe you. They’ll think you’re crazy and send you away. But you can bring it up to me. I know when you’re telling the truth. Now, what do these spirits say to you?”

“They tell me their regrets and tales from their life long ago,” Flora said. “And did you know they can be tricksters and possess your body if you’re not careful?”

“And how do they do that?”

“Mum said it was six words. I’ll tell you, but don’t ever say them to a ghost, promise?”

“I swear it on ten generations of Quints.”

“It’s you, it’s me, it’s us.”

***

Owen spots Dani the moment she steps inside the living room. “Looks like someone had a nice night,” he remarks, tapping his chest to refer to the necklace.

“Is Jamie still around?” Dani asks. “Hannah, you told her, right?”

“Tell her what?” Hannah turns around from her seat, perplexed.

“That I was going to be late tonight. Remember? This morning?”

“I’m so sorry love; I don’t recall any such conversation. Been having awful headaches all day. Can’t even remember why I left my bedroom in such a mess…”

“Poor Hannah’s probably caught the flu.” Owen gets up to pour a mug of hot chocolate for Dani. “She wouldn’t touch a bite of dinner tonight, not even the sweets. Which luckily for you means more leftovers.”

“Hold that thought.” Dani places the bag of desserts on the living room table before rushing to her bedroom, grabbing her coat and flashlight, and racing out the door.

To her surprise, she finds her friend still waiting inside the greenhouse, smoking a cigarette.

“Jamie, I’m really, really sorry.” Dani takes a seat next to the gardener, who doesn’t appear as charitable. “I kept pushing Peter to come back as soon as possible.”

“Don’t know why I expect people to follow through on their word like it’s an easy task.” Jamie puts out her cigarette and stands up to leave.

“Wait!” Dani follows her friend to the doorway. “Could we not end tonight…this year…like this?”

Jamie turns on a heel and throws up her hands. “I’ve been waiting well over an hour for you like some Billy no-mates! All so you can flirt with Sneaky Pete.”

“What’s your problem with him? Is it so wrong to start off by giving someone a chance until they’ve breached that trust?”

“Right now, I really don’t care who you want to shag,” Jamie snaps. “I’m the idiot for assuming my time can compete with his lavish dates and cute puppies.”

“What do you even want, Jamie?” Dani finds her voice quaking. “You basically stated you didn't want me...which is fine because I'm not entitled to you liking me. In fact, I don’t even know what a relationship would look like between two…you know.”

“This is about protecting you! I said the same thing to Miss Jessel, time and again, that all he wants is to get in her pants. But she was so love-starved, chirping ‘he’s the only person who actually notices me.’”

“What about you? Do you want me going over your life decisions? How your tough guy act is just a front for someone desperately craving companionship? You reveal next to nothing about yourself, but I let you into my life, answer all of your questions.”

“Well played Poppins, got a bit of a fight in you! But unlike me, you’ve lived a sheltered life. You probably have a dad who called you princess and a mum who read you fairytales every night, just like you do with Flora. But I’ve endured a hardscrabble youth, and I’ve seen things, encountered dozens of PQs in my life. And someone like him will never be satisfied with someone like you.”

The greenhouse falls silent as tension fills the frosty air.

“What do you mean by that?” Dani finally asks. “Is it the way I look, I sound, I act? Am I not skinny enough? Or is it my lack of discernible talent?”

“Forget it. Don’t pay my words any heed.”

“No, Jamie. Call me a hypocrite, but I’m tired of running away from these conversations. Why do I feel like I’m being punished for all the disappointments caused by people in your past? Maybe just this once, you should trust me to make my own decisions.”

“Fine.” Jamie shrugs. “You’re a grown adult. Why should I be looking after you? I’m not your keeper – I’m only here for the plants, that’s it. So I’ll stay out of your business and you stay the hell out of mine.” Before the gardener leaves, she catches a glimpse of the au pair’s necklace. “Nice pendant you got there – Charlotte’s favorite was lapis lazuli.”

Consumed with rage, Jamie climbs into her truck as their conversation replays in her head. Well, if Dani wants to make her own mistakes, let her. If Peter takes advantage of her like he did with Rebecca, why should the gardener shed a tear? The naïve American was never her responsibility to begin with.

“What is it this time?”

A week later, Owen and Dani are in the kitchen chopping vegetables for lunch. Dani glances up at the look of paternal concern splashed across Owen’s face.

“It’s that obvious?”

“You’ve been cooped up indoors, and there’s only so much we can blame on the winter chill. Our favorite gardener’s not revealing anything nor am I one to pry so…there’s only three options. Whenever your relationship isn’t working out, you either work to resolve it, leave it, or live with it. Oftentimes the first two doors are closed, but I always advocate the first option whenever possible.”

“Well, I’m not leaving the children so I guess I’ll live with it.”

Owen shakes his head, scraping the vegetables into a bowl. “You and Jamie used to get along famously. Hannah would say you two were likely best of friends in a previous life.”

Flora bounds through the doorway. “Miss Clayton, Miles and I have something important to tell you.”

“What is it?” Dani softens in concern and follows the children to the foyer.

“Remember when you first got here I made you promise not to leave your room at night?” Flora asks. “It’s because of this Lady in the Lake. She’s the one leaving the muddy footprints.”

Dani turns around to laugh with Owen, but his face is somber. “I suppose it does explain a few things,” he says.

“She’s been here forever,” Miles says. “Sometimes we see other ghosts too…a doctor, a little boy, a soldier, our parents…Flora said she’s even spotted Miss Jessel once or twice.”

“The previous governess?” Dani cocks an eyebrow. “Okay, maybe you can write your thoughts down in a journal and…”

“It’s not make-believe,” Flora responds sternly and flips through the telescope guidebook. “Mr. Quint asked us to mark his calendar every night we notice the Lady and look – it follows the new moon. She’ll make her next appearance tomorrow night. So we cannot go out to view the stars and we must lock all the doors.”

“Mr. Quint gave you a calendar?” Dani asks. _He recruited the children for this?_ “Does Uncle Henry know about this lady?”

“Why do you think he never visits?” Miles asks.

Dani crosses her arms and looks over at Owen. “I just find it hard to believe he’d leave his precious niece and nephew so vulnerable.”

“Why don’t we prove it?” Miles offers. “She doesn’t move fast, just don’t stand in her way. Or else she catches and drowns you in the lake. Like she did our parents.”

“Okay, that’s enough Miles.”

“They’ve supplied their proof, now the burden is on us to disprove it,” Owen says. “If this lady only surfaces when the moon isn’t visible, I say we catch said ghost in the act. I’ll stay the night, and we’ll take all necessary precautions of course. Then we report to Mr. Wingrave and see if he can relocate the children somewhere safer.”

“I wish we didn’t have to mention any of it,” Flora says. “I don’t want to scare Miss Clayton away, but she kept not following the rules!”

“I’m not a scaredy cat…all of the time,” Dani replies. Could it be possible she wasn’t the only one to see a specter at Bly? “All right, I’ll sign off on Mr. Sharma’s plan. But if nothing happens, I don’t want to hear about this lady again. Deal?”

Owen insists on serving spooky treats for dinner the next day – brain and eyeball pasta with ghost marshmallow fairy cakes – until Hannah vetoes the menu.

“You believe in ghosts, Miss Corrigan?” Flora asks over Lancashire hotpot.

“Don’t believe in much of anything, to be honest,” Jamie replies. “I’m just here to avoid waking up early for the morning commute.”

“We work in shifts to ensure no one’s dozing off,” Owen instructs. “Midnight to three a.m., Dani and Jamie will stand watch, then Hannah and I take over until daylight. If the Lady in the Lake advances through the front of the manor, we stay at the top of the stairs and observe her movements. The children are to remain in their bedrooms, all doors to be locked at all times. At no point do we engage with the Lady. Weapons are only to be used if lives are in danger.”

“Aye aye, fearless leader,” Jamie responds with a salute. Meanwhile, Dani glares at Owen. _Really, placing us in the same group? How does he think that’s going to work out?_

As the clock strikes midnight, Jamie stands with a rifle at the ready while Dani grips a fireplace poker.

“Did you come itching to shoot someone in the face?” Dani asks. “Have you ever used that thing?”

“Do you really want to know?” Jamie replies.

“Look, I didn’t expect some ghost lady to provide our one opportunity to talk, but when we last spoke at the greenhouse…”

“Meant every word, every last word. I’m here to assist with the ghost business out of respect for the man who signs our paychecks. At the end of it, my matters are my own and so are yours. You’ve made it quite clear, Poppins.”

Dani laughs. “It takes a bit of the seriousness out when you sprinkle your warnings with ‘Poppins.’”

“Fair enough. So we’re both clear – you manage your affairs and I manage mine?”

“Crystal.”

Three hours come and go, and not a single specter emerges. As Owen and Hannah assume their places, Jamie heads to Hannah’s bedroom to sleep while Dani retreats to her own.

For a brief moment in time, Dani had the opportunity to crack Jamie’s defenses. They didn’t need to be lovers but perhaps they could be close friends, all for that possibility to slip away as hours ticked by in uneventful silence.

“Wake up! Please wake up!” Flora’s screams puncture the stillness of the night.

Jamie forces herself up and opens the bedroom door. Not a second later the young girl rushes inside, throwing herself against the walls.

“Flora! Take a deep breath and tell me what’s going on.” Jamie grips Flora by the shoulders and demonstrates a slow exhale.

“Miss Corrigan, the Lady took Miles! Biscuit was yelping, I begged Miles not to leave the room and…I saw her, she swooped him up…what if she’s already back inside the lake?” Flora mimics a choking motion.

“Do the others know?” Jamie puts on a jacket, picks up the flashlight, and retrieves her rifle.

“I didn’t see Mr. Sharma and Mrs. Grose, the Lady must’ve came in from the back, but…” Flora breaks down, clearly upset.

“Okay, I’m going to find him. Stay here and lock the door.”

“I woke Miss Clayton up before you, and she ran off to find them. But what if…what if the Lady’s taken her too?”

Jamie’s blood runs cold, time itself slows as she withstands the urge to vomit. Absolutely not Dani. The friendly American with her warm smiles, innocent charm, and good-natured personality. Without another word, the gardener tracks the footprints down the stairs and sprints out of the manor.


	5. Fight or Flight

By summer’s end, Rebecca would be dead and the children in need of a new caretaker. The American wasn’t Henry’s preferred choice, but beggars can’t be choosers. Dani found the interview questions fairly standard, save for the last one.

“To you the children may be strangers, with no blood relation to speak of, but if need be, would you put your life on the line for them?” Henry asked.

Dani took a moment to prepare a response and offered a truthful answer. “I wouldn’t say I’d walk into death any more willingly than the average person. But if it came down to it, I know what’s expected of me. Just as when I was a teacher, parents entrusted me with their children’s well-being.”

“Very well. Lastly, you should know Flora caught pneumonia last summer. She’s fine now, but I’d keep her away from strenuous activities. If you came to the office by car, ask Mrs. Winnnigham for validation on your way…”

“Is that all that matters? Protecting their physical bodies?”

“Pardon?”

“I know you’re a busy man, but I can’t assume the place of family – at least not all of it. If I understand correctly, you’re the closest relative the children have. Surely you see yourself as a presence in their upbringing.”

“You are to treat them as your own, better even,” Henry replied. “Consider me a walking stereotype of the wealthy tossing money at problems if you must. But I’ve failed them miserably, and my presence will not improve matters.”

“How would you even know unless…”

“That’s enough, Miss Clayton. I will make my decision in the coming days. If you’re selected, my secretary will contact you.”

 _He’d be crazy, desperate, or both to hire me after that outburst._ Yet to her surprise, Mrs. Winningham called the hostel that very afternoon, offering Dani the job and more importantly, a work permit to replace her tourist visa. _Guess I’m heading to Bly._

***

“Hannah! Sharma! They’re outside!” Jamie shouts, rifle and flashlight in hand, practically flying down the stairs. She bolts out the door and gazes at her surroundings, now coated in a bluish-gray hue.

Over a hundred feet away, the Lady lumbers across the lawn, dragging Miles by the throat as Biscuit nips at her heels. Dani cries out, running as fast as her feet can take her. She only has one task – to keep the children alive. She had promised their uncle.

Jamie dives into her truck, turns on the ignition, and speeds down the lawn before braking next to Dani. “Get in!” Within seconds they are bumping along the grass, the au pair directing them towards the Lady. “Careful, don’t run Miles over!”

“Wasn’t planning on it.” Before they reach the edge of the lake, Jamie careens her truck directly in front of the specter, blocking her path, and they exit the car. It’s then that they finally catch the Lady’s featureless face, pale as a mannequin. “Let the boy go!”

The Lady pauses for several eerie seconds before making a detour behind the vehicle, her right hand still clenched around Miles’ throat.

That’s when fight or flight kicks in, and Dani whips out the fireplace poker, cracking it against the side of the Lady’s head with such force it reverberates in the au pair’s bones. She tries again, this time aiming at the specter’s right shoulder, slamming the poker so hard it flies out of her hands.

_Bam!_

Just as Dani retrieves the poker, Jamie fires a round straight through the Lady’s neck, yet the specter barely flinches.

As Jamie reloads, Dani lunges at Miles’ neck, attempting to pry the Lady’s clammy fingers apart by force. The specter continues her death march to the lake, knocking the au pair over like an afterthought.

_Bam!_

Again, the bullet proves a minor nuisance as the Lady advances in her warpath. In frustration, Jamie runs back into the car, picks up the flashlight, and races to the edge of the lake. She shines a beam onto Lady’s featureless face, instantly disorienting the specter.

The Lady finally breaks her hold on Miles and thrashes about for several seconds. The boy manages to crawl a short distance before the specter turns around.

Recognizing the Lady would close the gap within seconds, Dani rushes over to Miles, shielding him with her body. That’s when the specter reaches out with her murderous grip…and Jamie shoves Dani aside before reflexively holding out her hands to protect herself.

As Dani reorients herself, she hears Jamie gagging against the surface of the lake. The Lady had seized her victim’s left hand, all but crushing it. As the specter slides effortlessly into the icy waters, a rock slashes into the gardener’s right calf.

“Drop her! Now!” Dani plunges into the lake and grabs hold of Jamie’s leg, but the Lady carries on unimpeded.

“Let…Leh…guh guh. Leh...” Jamie sputters, struggling to lift her face above the surface. _Let go?_

Dani releases the gardener, realizing her friend had already accepted her fate.

Jamie’s lungs burn with cries for oxygen as her mind slips in and out of consciousness, her limbs flailing in vain as she is lowered into her underwater grave. So this is the way it would end, not what the gardener had expected, but she had never expected longevity to be in the cards.

 _Crack!_ With a fierceness she never knew she possessed, Dani comes back swinging the butt of the rifle against the Lady’s head. Molten rage courses through her bloodstream as she strikes again and again. While the specter stops in her tracks following each blow, she refuses to relinquish her prize.

No, Dani would not allow herself to be responsible for two deaths. She snaps, letting out a primal cry, swinging the rifle…

As the sun warms the clouds beneath it, rays of light trickle down. The Lady’s walk, timed down to a science, has for one night been thrown into disarray. Only then does she finally release the gardener before sinking back to the bottom of the lake.

 _Please be alive. Please!_ Running solely on adrenaline, Dani wrests Jamie out of the lake and tiptoes across the slippery sediment, lifting their faces above the water. Finally, she tosses their exhausted, freezing bodies onto dry land. Her chest shivers violently, and her heart races so wildly she fears it may burst.

“Miles! Dani!” Hannah observes the bruises on Miles’ neck, but otherwise the boy appears unhurt.

Somehow, Dani finds the strength to stagger to their side. “How is he?”

“He’ll be all right,” Hannah replies. “What about you two? How’s Jamie?”

Dani’s face falls, and she looks over to see Owen delivering chest compressions on Jamie, who remains motionless. The au pair slowly shakes her head. She is transported back to where she once was, where she’ll always be. Inadequate. Guilty. Haunted.

Jamie awakens with a jolt shortly before noon, her arms swinging in defense. She discovers her left hand and forearm encased in a splint, her cushioned limb nearly missing Dani’s face.

The next thing Jamie notices is the pain, the crushing ache in her left wrist, as though someone had driven a nail through it. Her entire body remains weak, trembling, and numb. She finds her right pant leg rolled up and in its place, a white cloth wrapped tightly around her calf.

“I’m just trying to wash your face,” Dani says calmly. “Is that all right?”

“Where is everyone? What am I doing here? The Lady…”

“They’re safe, and you’re in my bedroom.” Dani kneels by the bed and softly wipes a damp towel against Jamie’s forehead and cheek. “The town doctor just left. He delivered a tetanus shot and sewed stitches on your leg while you were passed out. Also left you some painkillers.”

“I just want a warm bath before getting back to sleep,” Jamie grumbles.

“Okay. I’ll fill up the tub but keep your left arm elevated above the heart, and don’t get the splint wet.”

“Don’t coddle me, Poppins. I can take care of myself.”

Dani laughs. “Good to have you back to your old self.”

The tub filled, Dani helps Jamie up and supports her weight as they move to the adjoining bathroom.

“I can take it from here.”

“Call out if you need me,” Dani says, closing the door.

“Um, Poppins. Could you…” Jamie replies sheepishly, and Dani opens the door. “A little difficult removing a shirt when you’ve got this cast…”

“Don’t worry, I won’t peek. I’ll close my eyes, even.” Dani helps Jamie pull her shirt over her head before exiting the bathroom again.

Jamie wades into the warm water, carefully keeping her left arm propped up, and caresses the bar of soap with her right hand. A few minutes in, Dani knocks and opens the door just wide enough to drop off a basket with a loose-sleeved collared shirt that the gardener could put on with one hand.

After Jamie washed up and settled back to bed, the residents of Bly Manor gather around her.

“Miles, what do we say?” Dani asks.

“Thank you Miss Corrigan,” Miles stutters, guilt-ridden over his reckless action.

“Didn’t do much, but do me a favor next time and leave the pup be,” Jamie replies.

“I’m so sorry Jamie,” Hannah says. “I swear Mr. Wingrave kept a cane around, but I couldn’t find it anywhere.”

“Ay, I’m no cripple.”

“So now that the whole gang is here, what are we going to tell Mr. Wingrave?” Owen asks.

“I'll kill ’em,” Jamie seethes. “Ghosts strutting the haunted manor like royalty, and this is where he leaves his dead brother’s children.”

“How would he even react if we tell him?” Hannah asks. “He’d think we’ve gone mental. At best, he’d put the children up in a motel once a month.”

“We were fine for many years thank you,” Flora speaks up. “Miles was the one who ignored mum’s instructions.”

“Mrs. Wingrave?” Jamie furrows her brow. “She knew about the Lady?”

“Yes, she also told me the Lady dragged her to the bottom of the lake,” Flora replies. “It wasn’t dad.”

“A ghost drowned your mother?!” Jamie exclaims. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“At the funeral, Mr. Quint said no one would believe us,” Miles answers.

“So even PQ knows about the bloody Lady,” Jamie curses. “What’re the odds Mr. Wingrave’s clueless?”

“Let’s give Miss Corrigan a chance to rest,” Hannah says and they file out of the room, with only Dani and Jamie remaining.

“Would you like me to bring you anything to eat?” Dani asks.

“I’m not hungry.”

“I can make you a sandwich. What would you like on it?”

“I said I’m not hungry,” Jamie replies, more tersely this time.

“Okay. Well, I left a pitcher of water on the dresser. If you need help pouring…”

“I’m good.” _Was the American expecting a thank you?_

“Listen, I know we’re not in the best place right now, and I…wasn’t sure if you were going to make it last night. Kept hoping for a sign, your breathing was so shallow and ragged…I’m just glad you’re okay. And I wanted to say…thanks.”

“For what?”

“For saving Miles…and me. The way you selflessly dove right in front of the Lady.”

“Please, enough with the ghosts, shall we? Let’s not speak of her again.”

“Well, call out if you need anything.” Dani exits, shutting the door behind her. She rests her back against the wall and weeps, covering her face with one hand. The emotions from last night finally consume her, the possibility of losing her friend to certain death…

“Okay, tell us everything you know about this strange lady.”

After dinner, Dani remains at the kitchen table, sitting across from Miles and Flora, pen and paper in hand. “Here’s the list Mr. Quint compiled, all recorded deaths at Bly. I’ll read their names and descriptions and you tell me if you’ve seen them before.”

“Still at it?” Jamie meanders into the kitchen and clutches a jar of sliced peaches with her left elbow while twisting the lid with her right hand.

“Let me help you with that.” Dani takes the jar and pops the lid open.

“My fault for yanking my arm about when the beast took me,” Jamie says. “Why’re you so obsessed with her? First person we relay this to will have us shipped off to the asylum.”

“She has a name,” Flora says. “Viola Lloyd.”

“And how do we know that?”

“Hannah was dusting up Mr. Wingrave’s study,” Dani explains. “Uncovered some files Peter left behind. He’s researching the Lady in the Lake, whole anthologies and lore referencing this estate. I copied down some of what he found, for our records.”

“So PQ holds some interest in this vengeful spirit. Why?”

“That’s the least of my concern. Now the theory goes Viola was murdered by her sister Perdita, who goes on to marry the widowed husband. And for centuries since, every person murdered on these grounds ends up haunting the estate. But if the Lady was cursed and we found a way to lift it, bring her some measure of peace…”

“Will you listen to yourself? Since when were you consumed with folktales? I have a proposition: every bloody new moon, lock your doors.” Jamie snatches the jar of peaches and limps back towards Dani’s bedroom.

As Jamie hobbles into the foyer, she spots Hannah ascending the stairs.

“Need any help?” Hannah asks.

“Not tonight. How have you been holding up?”

“As much as to be expected, I suppose. You know how in our dreams we recognize this realm is preposterous, yet we don’t acknowledge it? Because if we did, we’d all wake up within seconds? In any case, don’t let me hold you up.”

“Say, what’s up with the American? I’ve never seen her so upset.”

“You should’ve seen her this morning. She remained at your bedside watching over you, imploring the doctor to be gentle. She had that look about her, you know, the mix of shame and despair. Like she’s…”

“Haunted,” Jamie finishes and Hannah nods. “I wish she’d drop the ghost hunting. The Lady could’ve murdered her last night if I hadn’t interfered, and I’d hate to see her end up like Charlotte. It’s always the well-meaning, naïve ones in horror movies who die first. Why’s she so preoccupied with this?”

“Oh, I don’t know.” Hannah shrugs, continuing up the stairs. “Perhaps because the Lady nearly killed her good friend.”

As Dani hauls a spare blanket to the living room, she makes out the shuffle of footsteps and spins around, only to be met with darkness. She advances, faster this time, but the ominous aura pursues her. Is she about to lose it? The grating crunch of twisted steel echoes between her ears. Why couldn’t Eddie leave her alone, just for one night?

“Poppins.”

Dani gasps as she spins around in surprise, hands clamped over the blanket she’d draped over the sofa.

“Looks as though you’re expecting an intruder to jump you,” Jamie says.

“I just thought…never mind.”

Jamie leans against the doorway, her arms folded. “You must be exhausted. I’ll take the living room tonight. You should have your bed back.”

“It’s fine. You can have it; it’s warmer in there. Thanks again for saving Miles.”

“Of course. It would’ve been a shame to see you sacked after just one season.” Jamie sighs. “When you said Eddie’s ghost is lurking around here…there appears to be more to Bly than meets the eye.”

Dani nods. Well, now is as good a time as any. “If it’s possible, can we go back to where we were before the holidays? If I could have one more chance...”

“You gotta quit doing that,” Jamie replies. “Asking for another chance. We’re good.”

Dani lets out a sigh of relief. “Thank you.”

“If anything, I ought to apologize for blowing up at you when it’s my insecurities speaking. I’m not used to people I care about reciprocating the sentiment, so really I was beating myself up for being a fool and trusting people.

“I have this nasty habit – don’t even recognize I’m doing it most of the time. I act out, testing how much people are willing to put up with me, then judge them when they inevitably choose not to stick around. Been this way since my youth.

“That’s the price of getting to know me, and I can’t promise it won’t happen again. But next time, I’ll go about things differently, listen to what you have to say and give you the benefit of the doubt.”

Dani smiles. “Promise?”

“Ay, I don’t make promises – they’re just asking to be broken. I make commitments, where my intent is matched with effort.” Jamie balls her right hand into a fist and extends the pinky finger.

“You do realize this means ‘pinky promise’ right?”

“Take what you can get, Poppins.”

Dani reaches over to lock their pinkies together.

“And if you want assistance in your ghost hunt, sign me up as your Watson.”

“I don’t think that’s necessary,” Dani replies. “We can both be Sherlock.”

“Fine, but on one condition. We swap places tonight. You’ll freeze in the living room.”

“Only if you stay with me,” Dani finds herself blurting out.

“If that’s what it takes, but I’ll need your help setting my blanket on the floor. And no heart-to-heart storytime while we’re at it.”

 _Seriously?_ “All right. Let’s go.”

“One more thing. Tell the kiddos I’m taking you out on loan tomorrow. That’s right – I’m giving you a grand tour of the town. It’s what you wanted, right? I can drive with my right hand. Show you my little flat and treat you to a drink. What do you say, Poppins?”

Dani breaks into a smile. “Will you introduce me to Kirk?”

“Ay, you still remember? You were supposed to strike that from memory! Yes, Kirk will be there.”

“Then as Flora likes to say, that sounds _perfectly splendid._ ”

There is absolutely nothing – not Peter, not Eddie, not the Lady – that would make Dani miss it.


	6. Dead Fiancé

“If you never loved me, you were lying to my face this entire time?!”

Late last spring, Eddie was driving Dani home after dinner, letting his fiancée have it, at times so wrapped up in his anger both hands withdrew from the steering wheel. Outside, the skies were pitch dark as globules of rain splattered against the windshield.

“It’s one thing to deceive me but my parents, Danielle? Sixty friends and family members attended our engagement party, did you know that? A hundred more will be at the wedding; my cousins flew in last night! Why would you say yes unless that meant something?!”

Dani found herself hyperventilating, tears streaming down her chin, a sadness unlike any she’d ever experienced. By revealing her truth, she felt as though a line was carved across her skin, allowing her doubts and insecurities to bleed out.

“I didn’t think there could be any other answer,” Dani wept. “But every time I look to our future, I’m not the one who can love you in the way you deserve…give you what you’re looking for…”

“Can’t or won’t? Why do you keep telling yourself that? I know how much you’re capable of loving and giving. All I ask is for you to try, Danielle. Make the fucking effort!”

“Can we pull over?”

“Not until we…fix this.”

“What is there to fix? I'm not attracted to men. Not in that way.”

“Then what _are_ you interested in?” Eddie scoffed. “Women? Cats? Office furniture? Why would you ever choose to go down that path when you could be normal?”

“I have no idea, no explanation for why I feel the way I do.”

“Yeah, you always don’t know when you can’t give an honest answer,” Eddie sneered. “Six times, Danielle. Took me six attempts at popping the question until you finally made up your goddamn mind!

“And to think I blew off pretty girls in college, my prime years, for you, for this…I wouldn’t even speak to other girls! ‘Sorry, my heart belongs to another.’ Why do I need to beg – actually beg – my own fiancée to love me back?”

“You shouldn’t. This has nothing to do with what a great partner you’d make.”

“No shit. You know how much my family’s already spent on this wedding? They took out a loan!” Eddie quickly steadied the steering wheel before it could veer off the road.

“I should’ve told you earlier,” Dani choked. “I knew how much you love me, and I didn’t want to let you down. It made sense for us to be together – we could’ve lived a good life, one that’s better than being alone. I didn’t want to be selfish and thought I could keep holding it in…”

“For chrissakes Danielle, the wedding’s in five days!” Eddie erupted, glaring at his fiancée, the woman who wounded him so deeply. “It’s just like me to fall for such a selfish woman. What is it that I don’t have that you still need? Is it money? Am I not good enough for you? Is there someone else?”

“No, there wasn’t anything more you could’ve done.”

Eddie shook his head. “All I’ve ever done is love you. Everything I do is centered around what’s best for you! Why on earth would you ever give it all…” Just then the car skidded into the next lane, onto oncoming traffic.

“Eddie watch out!” Dani screamed.

The last image ingrained in her memory of that night was Eddie’s spectacles, basking in the bright yellow glow of a truck’s headlights, before the windshield shattered and the car’s steel frame crumpled.

It was by far the loudest sound Dani had ever heard, a deafening boom, a massive force thrusting the car back a good thirty feet. The impact rippled across her entire body and slammed her right temple against the side window. Her eyelids drooped as it grew increasingly difficult to breathe…

When Dani finally came to, sunlight trickled through the hospital window. Her left hand was already fitted into a splint and elevated above her chest. Stitches patched up the skin above her right eyebrow. _Eddie?_

As soon as Eddie’s mother appeared by her bedside, her face consumed with grief, Dani knew. _No!_

Days would pass, then weeks and months. Every morning, when Dani woke up, Eddie would still be dead. And the next day. And the next. Why must he die while she lived, when she was the reason they argued in the first place, the reason for his demise? Maybe she wasn’t the one who placed the gun to his head, but she pulled the trigger.

The guilt would never leave her. He would never leave her. It would always be her fault. Because Eddie was right all along. She was selfish and always will be.

***

In the weeks that follow, Hannah made several attempts at reaching Henry but to no avail. Owen offered to make the trip to London himself, but by then it was decided they would keep all entrances sealed and back windows boarded before the next new moon. Sure enough, the Lady’s next walk proceeds uneventfully, save for a few vines she trampled along the garden.

Jamie’s scar turns a salmon pink, and she slowly regains the use of her left hand. In the meantime, she left a list of instructions on taking care of the plants, and Dani set to work with the children to ensure their survival.

A little over a month following her accident, Jamie makes her first early morning return to the greenhouse and is surprised to find Dani already there, watering the snapdragons.

“Thought you were a late riser,” Jamie says, picking up a trowel.

“Just wanted to make sure everything looks the same way you’d left it. We finally trained Biscuit to stop digging up the shrubs.”

“You keep this up, the plants will petition you for full custody. And I’m a jealous parent.”

Dani laughs. “How’s the hand?”

“Nearly back to its original strength. Can lift things with it now, depending on the weight.” Jamie trudges over to the shelf, surveying each potted plant. “So yesterday…when you were parading around the manor handing out fancy chocolates, who sent them to you?”

“Your favorite person.”

“I thought PQ had forgotten about you, found somebody back in the city.”

“Sometimes he writes and tells me how much he misses me, how his affection is as deep as the ocean and will last even after the sun burns out. He also sent flowers and a bottle of gin. But we don’t need to talk about him.”

Jamie nods. “Speaking of love letters, I had the strangest conversation with Flora yesterday. She handed me this note she found, said it was probably for me.”

“What made her think that?”

“It was signed: _Sincerely, Poppins_.”

Dani feels her heart tumble into her stomach. “Did she read it?”

“Swore up and down she didn’t, but for some reason I have my doubts. Anyhow, someone with your exact handwriting wrote me the most heartfelt letter. There were several lines crossed off, but from what I can tell the writer might just fancy me. Too bad he – or she – never left a name.”

“All right, I wasn’t planning to…you weren’t supposed to see that.”

Jamie walks up to Dani. “Listen. I have a way of doing things, and then you come along, tinkering with the predictability of life. These feelings you have, these feelings you think you have…I’m well aware sudden life-or-death situations amp up our emotional states, but they never last.”

“Whenever you sense I’m getting closer to you, you start creating distance,” Dani says, slamming the watering can on the table harder than she’d intended. “If there’s nothing there, if you feel nothing for me, I can respect it. But please…don’t push me away.”

“You’re a wonderful person, Poppins, and you’ll make someone very happy. Your prince, or princess, whomever…”

“Can we…not? Because every time this comes up, it causes us pain, or maybe just for me. This past month has been magical, never been better. The children, Owen, and Hannah are cheerful whenever I see them; I’m starting to experience what happiness feels like again…

“Why would I risk our friendship for something that’s clearly never going to happen between us? I’m a haunted woman anyways, isn’t that what you’re telling Hannah, and…” Dani releases a soul-crushing gasp, flipping the watering can over.

Jamie catches Dani by the collar and pulls her up. “You see him?”

“Eddie’s…he’s right there.” Dani is quaking, her lungs crying for air, as she points to her reflection on the glass wall. “He’s got his hand on my shoulder. He’s reaching for my neck.”

“Poppins, breathe. Deep breaths, like I taught you. He’s not real.”

“I should go.” Dani breaks away and stalks the grounds of the estate, making a beeline for the manor. As she departs, rain begins to fall, first as a patter, then a downpour. Jamie steps outside, hands in her pockets, letting the droplets soak her skin and clothes.

“Don't do this Sharma. You got something to say just come out with it.”

Later that day, after she had dried herself, Jamie sits across the kitchen table from Owen, savoring their afternoon tea.

“Did I ever mention I was engaged?” Owen says, gazing out the window.

“Never took you as anything other than a bachelor,” Jamie replies. “You’ve told us virtually everything about you, your mum, your travels…yet never thought to let this one slip?”

“Happened well over a decade ago. I loved to cook and she loved to eat. Her family adored me. Shortly after I proposed, my family did some digging, discovered her caste, found it objectionable. Made a whole bloody row of it; you’d think my bride was a serial killer.

“Next thing I knew, her parents flew her back to Uttar Pradesh and confiscated her passport. Never heard from her since. Would have been better if she’d never met me.”

Jamie bows her head, stunned by the revelation. “It’s not your fault, you know? You never chose to leave; it’s not like you flat out abandoned her. If anything, your family’s the one…”

“If you want to criticize my mum I won’t have it. What they did was wrong, make no mistake, but if I was raised with their understanding of the world I can’t say I’d have done differently.”

“I’m sorry. I just hope you’re not still blaming yourself over circumstances completely out of your control. So why’re you bringing this up?”

Owen takes his teaspoon and swirls it in his mug. “If I must say so myself, you seem to have grown quite fond of the au pair.”

Jamie shakes her head – the cook had always been the perceptive type. “Why’re you tossing this back on me all of a sudden? You should know nanny romances at Bly never meet their happy endings.”

Owen shrugs. “The hopeful American and the cheeky gardener, who would have thought? I happen to believe you’re just too cocky to accept it.”

“What does that make you then? Too scared? I don't see you making a move on Hannah and you’ve known her…how long now?”

Owen sighs. “I'm afraid she's not well. You can judge a person's health by their appetite. Remember how I used to make these desserts and before I start baking, I’d ask you all if you wanted some?”

“Yeah, and my response was always, ‘is the Pope Catholic?’”

“Well, Hannah would always decline when I asked her. Didn’t want to cause any inconvenience. But when she’s sitting with the children and they offer her a piece, she’d agree to a nibble, then another. Within time, I learned to just make her portion.”

Jamie laughs. “That’s good ol’ Hannah Grose for you.”

“But now, nothing. Refuses to touch a single morsel, not even her favorite honey cakes. One taste, and she’d lose her appetite. Every time I offer to whisk her away on a picnic, she tells me she’s not hungry.”

“She doesn't seem ill. I’m sure she sneaks in bites when you’re not around. It’s possible this manor is haunting her too.”

Owen sighs. “Sometimes I feel as though these grounds contain mechanisms for picking off the weak. I’ve been hearing these voices, ever since my mum died, shaming me over how relieved I must feel now that she’s gone, how I view her only as a burden…”

“Sharma, all the guilt in the world isn’t going to bring her back. Anyone in your position would be overjoyed to have a loved one released of her misery.”

“I know that! But this is not a voice to be reasoned with.”

“I’m sorry. I meant no offense.”

“Now. Let’s get back to you. We all need someone who’ll back us up. All of us. Including Dani...I worry for her sometimes. She has that expression buried underneath that smile...She's haunted.”

“Yeah, I'm too cold and my head is buried in the plants. But I’m looking after her.”

“I notice the way Dani looks at you, besotted from the very beginning. And you, my dear, I catch you smiling so often now I wonder what it could be that makes an injured woman so jolly. Now I don’t want to speculate on her sexuality, or yours…but I’d be blind to pretend nothing’s happening.”

“Look Sharma, there’s nothing going on. I wouldn’t allow it.”

Owen leans forward. “All I want to say is, if you fancy her, you two needn’t hide it from me. And while I can't claim to speak for Hannah, I'm positive she wouldn't judge either. The children, I'm not so sure.”

He gets up and stands beside his friend, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Kismat. My mum used to repeat the term. It’s luck, destiny, providence. Believed in it whole-heartedly, even in the darkest of times and toughest of struggles, but only if the person was willing to apply themselves, commit to the hard work of earning it. What’s your kismat, Jamie?”

With that, Owen walks away, leaving the gardener alone.

Jamie catches the children in the foyer, selecting magazines for the time capsule the au pair had assigned them.

“Oi gremlins! Why isn’t Miss Clayton with you?”

“She said she wasn’t feeling well and went straight to her bedroom about an hour ago,” Flora replies.

“You forgot to mention what happened right after,” Miles adds. “She was screaming, pounding against the wall.”

Jamie heads to Dani’s bedroom and is surprised to find the door ajar. She sees the au pair wrapped in a bath towel, sitting on the floor with her back to the wall. Her face is emotionally drained, stained with tears. One arm is draped across her knees while the other clutches a bottle of gin, which she dispenses freely down her throat.

“No. Not this time.” Jamie presses the door open and stands before her friend. “Hand me the bottle.”

Dani shakes her head, downing yet another gulp. “Eddie’s still here…saw him in the mirror. Can’t we just cover them all up?! I saw shattered glass coated in blood all across the sink...”

“Did you cut yourself?”

“No…the shards were my imagination. Again.” She lowers her face into her knees and bawls.

“Hey.” Jamie closes the door and takes a seat on the floor. She wraps an arm around her friend, allowing her to cry into her chest. “I’m right here. I have no intentions of leaving you, not unless you insist.”

“If only I’d stayed, if I’d toughed it out, he’d still be here today…He loved me so much. Why couldn’t I just love him the same way?”

“Relationships should be organic. If you can’t give him what he wants, it’ll only create a cycle of resentment. Next thing you know you’re like my mum, stuck with three kids too many, begging for a divorce.”

“I just want one full day where I’m not reliving this unending nightmare. If I hadn’t spoken up, his parents wouldn’t have buried their son…”

“Fact is, we don’t know what would’ve happened and that’s that,” Jamie replies calmly, rubbing her friend’s back. “What I do know is you can’t kick this can down the road for much longer. The suffocating sadness, the shame gnawing at your innards like a parasite feeding off a wounded animal. Draining your half-living state ‘til you end up in the dirt beside him.”

“You don’t understand! Eddie was such a good man; everyone loved him. And now he’ll never have the children he always wanted, his parents won’t meet their future grandchildren…”

“That’s right, I don’t understand. However, I know what it’s like to experience guilt over being a shite person, and I’m sorry but you’re not it. Usually, people feel ashamed when others judge them. But you, my dear, feel shame when nobody is judging you, nobody except yourself.

“Dictators the world over have eagerly dragged millions to their deaths for their own personal comfort without shedding a tear yet here you are…weeping as though you’d brought the downfall of humanity.

“Your life is never truly yours if you can’t accept your honest self. That takes courage. And if this saga ever reaches a conclusion, it needs to be today.”

Dani’s body quivers, gripping onto Jamie’s. “There’s this voice…a woman’s. She keeps telling me to confront Eddie, to go down into the cellar…but it’s not…possible for me. What if he…?”

“I’ve been trying to tell you; he’s not a ghost. Remember when I mentioned spotting a woman hanging from a noose…the root of all my misery? It wasn’t until I stopped blaming the universe for my misfortune and moved on with my life, that’s when she faded away. She wasn’t real.

“Besides, hadn’t you done the research – every ghost in this manor was murdered on these unholy grounds. How could Eddie follow you here? Did he hop on a plane? Bly brings out our inner demons…what you see is not him, it’s you. It’s guilt.”

“We’re different. I’m not brave like you are.”

“I can't stand seeing you in such agony, torturing yourself over the cards fate dealt you. I’ll give you a few hours to sober up and grab a hot meal, then we’re heading downstairs to meet him.”

Dani’s knees buckle as she creeps down the stairs to the cellar. How did she ever agree to this? One floor above, Jamie had held her hand, promising a treat when it was all done. The gardener even offered to come with her, but the au pair knew it wouldn’t have worked otherwise. This particular demon she would face alone.

“I’m right here,” Jamie calls out. “Holler and I'll be down in a second.”

Dani squeezes onto the railing. _No, I can’t do this._ If Eddie didn’t kill her, it would be her heart giving out.

“Poppins? You still there? I know you can do this if you summon all of your bravery.”

 _Do it for her._ Dani forces her trembling body forward, turns on the solitary lamp, and stands before the mirror, heart hammering in her parched throat. Her haunted expression stares back, pale and despondent. And then…Eddie’s specter surfaces behind her, and she swallows an incoming scream.

Dani feels his cold, clammy hands resting on her shoulders but dares not look behind, focused only on their reflection in the mirror.

“How long has it been?” Dani finds herself speaking, as though her mouth had taken a life of its own. “Three seasons have passed, since the funeral. And not a day goes by that I don’t think about how things could’ve been different, how if only I was less selfish, if I’d accepted your love…”

Eddie’s specter draws nearer, his chest flat against Dani’s back. She could feel his icy breath against the back of her head, his hands groping at her waist.

“I really did love you, even if it wasn’t in the way you’d hoped,” she cries. “I’ve shed…so many tears I thought I was going blind. The only emotions I knew were guilt and grief. The only thing worse than bearing a loss this tragic is realizing I’m the reason it happened.”

The specter does not speak, only acknowledges Dani’s words as his fingers make their way up to her chest.

“Maybe I can’t live my life without this pain, but I can live in spite of it. And I'm sorry, but I have a right to the future ahead of me.” She looks straight at her reflection, her expression resolute. “I found someone. I'm afraid I'll hurt her, just like I hurt you, but I won't know...unless I let go of this…this shame.

“And maybe, maybe I’ll never move on. Maybe I shouldn’t, because the fact is, Eddie, you will always be a part of me just as I was a part of you. I can’t change the past, but I can give permission not to cripple myself or wallow in guilt every second for the rest of my life. I can decide to move forward. And I choose her. I choose _me_.”

 _Turn around_. It is the familiar, soothing voice of an unnamed woman. _Walk straight and don’t look back._

Dani places her hands over Eddie’s, gently moves them aside. She steels herself for the hardest part and turns around. For the first time she sees the specter not as a reflection but physically standing before her. She fights back a wave of fear and stares into his soulless eyes as the glare in his glasses begin to dim.

“Goodbye, Eddie.” Dani feels the specter weakening as she walks right through him and heads back up the stairs.


	7. The Secret Garden

A few weeks into her new job at Bly, Dani settled into a rhythm. Every morning, she’d force herself up as though she was being vomited out of bed, physically and emotionally exhausted from yet another restless night. Each day proceeded like a never-ending ascent hoisting a backpack full of stones.

The children were to be her entire world; she should not even possess the bandwidth to focus on other matters: Eddie’s death, her estranged relationship with her mother, or…the secretive colleague who oversaw the grounds of the vast estate.

Sometimes, while the children wandered the fields, Dani would lie in the grass not far away. Staring upwards at the rolling clouds, hands folded across her stomach, a foolish grin splashed across her face, thinking of Jamie. Imagining how it might feel if the gardener was close, resting peacefully on her shoulder. Wondering if her colleague was willing to seek comfort in her arms, sharing their warmth beneath the thumb of a bleak, cruel reality.

Jamie had made it clear she worked solo. Yet whenever the children took their afternoon naps, Dani would grab a coat and head outside to see what the gardener was up to. The trips were difficult at first, full of self-doubt, but she gradually pressed herself onward.

Before she knew it, Dani was offering to mulch the garden as cold weather descended on the estate. It’s not glorious work, the gardener had warned, but the au pair insisted she didn’t mind getting her hands dirty.

The first time she worked in the greenhouse, Dani winced when a spider scurried down a flowerpot and plopped onto the table.

“Relax Poppins, you’re a million times bigger than it,” Jamie said. “Just be wary of the nasty ones that sting. You know, if humans ever went extinct the planet would go on, indifferent to our departure. But if these critters ever vanished, all life on earth would perish.”

Soon, every hour she had for herself, Dani would find a reason to help. While Jamie was particular about her process, winter was upon them and she could use the free assistance. The gardener would assign easier tasks like watering before moving to harder labor, gauging how much the au pair could handle. Her new assistant remained willing to learn, even as she’d wake up the next day with an aching back and legs.

They initially worked in silence until Dani inquired about different species, and only then would Jamie begin to speak. She’s a great storyteller, the au pair thought, discovering how each plant had a story and a homeland, from the deceitful orchids to the graceful cherry blossom. With her words, the gardener weaved illustrations of empires and painted portraits of explorers. She was willing to share any story but her own, it seemed.

One afternoon, about a month after she started gardening, Dani set her plan in motion – a get-together to nudge Jamie into opening up. They were back inside the greenhouse, and as the au pair mentally rehearsed her spiel, her eyes kept drifting to a bushel of crimson and golden blossoms.

“That one’s pretty, isn’t it?” Jamie said. “Chrysanthemums, the Queen of Fall Flowers. Originated in Asia, they serve as symbols of fidelity as well as farewells. They were Charlotte’s favorite.”

“The children’s mother?”

“The one and only. She was a real angel, that woman. The father didn’t want to hire me on account of my record, but she appreciated the honesty.”

Sensing an opportunity to bond, Dani perked up. “It’s incredible how much you know about these flowers. How’d you get into gardening?”

“Picked it up in prison,” Jamie replied matter-of-factly. _Oh._

Summoning her courage, Dani transitioned to the invitation. “I was thinking…we’re all colleagues and see each other almost every day, but what if we…got to know each other. In a relaxed setting, that is. I already talked to Owen and Hannah and…we’re putting on a potluck tomorrow. You know, where we come together with our best dishes. Hannah’s baking her currant scones and the children are…”

Jamie responded with a look of bewilderment. “Last time you cooked for us, what was that? Two slices of white toast with a runny sliver of cheese oozing down the middle?”

“Hey, I’ll have you know my students loved my grilled cheese. But…I could always whip up something else.”

“Listen, Mary Poppins. I know you come at this with the purest of intensions. I admire that about you, really. It’s just, when it comes to Bly, I like to keep it professional. You’d do well taking a page from your predecessor. We both respectfully minded our own business.” Jamie turned her attention back to a potted marigold.

Any other afternoon, Dani probably would have let those words slide and retreated. But for whatever reason – maybe it was frustration over the afternoons spent kneeling in the dirt pulling weeds and shoveling mulch in the vain hope the gardener would open up – today was not like any other.

“Don’t you ever feel lonely in there?”

Jamie looked up. _Pardon?_

“Is there not a single part of you that craves company? I hardly know anything about you. Do you have any regrets? Have you ever told anyone you love them? Do you consider Jaffa Cakes to be cakes or biscuits?”

“You honestly care to know?’ Jamie cocked an eyebrow.

“I find it hard to believe there’s almost nothing you find worth sharing about yourself.”

“Is that all?” Jamie asked after a few seconds of silence. “Let it out, Poppins.”

“You know what I think? Deep down, you do want company but instead you surround yourself with plants that can’t challenge your ego.” The words left Dani’s mouth faster than she could retract them. “I’m sorry. I overreached.”

“A little criticism’s fine if it’s fair. Yeah, I prefer plants because you reap what you sow whereas people…you pour your souls into them and for what? Besides, why should I be disappointed in humanity, when we simply act the way we’re built?

“But here’s where you’re wrong. These plants, they allow me to stay in my own headspace. Each workday passes without me counting down the hours. It’s free therapy.”

“You don’t have to put up a front with me. I’m in no place to judge you. Perhaps it’s fear you’ll be let down…”

“There’s an old Tennyson quote. ‘Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.’ Easy for the poet to say – he passed years before his wife. But for me, it’s never been worth it. Every person I’ve ever gotten attached to has either left, killed themselves, or gotten themselves killed. Fond memories deliver more pain than nostalgia. I end up emptier than when I started. You know what I mean?”

“What if I told you I had someone who poured their heart into me? Someone I was very close to, who’s not around anymore.”

Jamie softened. “Listen, I appreciate you bringing up how you feel. It sounds paradoxical, but arguments show you still care. People can divorce, leave, but bringing disagreements up imply you still want to right the ship. For now, let’s finish this task, shall we?”

They worked the rest of the hour in silence. Sensing Dani’s disappointment, Jamie prepared a parting gift, selecting a few of the brightest chrysanthemums. “Here. Have them.”

“Are you sure? They’re so lovely.” Dani offered a polite nod before turning to leave.

“And Poppins? I don’t care what anyone says, Jaffa Cakes are in the biscuit aisle with reason.”

The next morning, Jamie does not even report to work. Dani tried to pull it together, not take the absence personally. From the bathroom mirror, she inadvertently caught a glimpse of Eddie’s specter and shuddered.

_Seriously? You’re so desperate to avoid me, someone who loved you with all his being, that you fall headfirst for a criminal who doesn’t give you the time of day? Pathetic._

That afternoon, Dani, Owen, Hannah, and the children headed to the gardens for the potluck, just as a visitor pulled up with a pot and tray in hand.

“What do you have there, Miss Corrigan?” Flora bounded towards the gardener and peered at the dishes.

Jamie smirked. “Fixed you a batch of my Irish stew – a glorious mess of mutton, carrots, and parsnips – and infamous scotch eggs.”

“We clearly have Dani to thank for this occasion.” Hannah smiled and turned to the au pair. “I keep badgering her to make those eggs again.”

A part of Dani longed to throw her arms around Jamie in gratitude. But in that moment, she could only grin as they gathered for lunch.

***

The rain ceases, the precise moment Dani walked through Eddie’s specter, it seems. She opens the cellar door and collapses into Jamie’s arms, emotionally spent. _It’s finally over._

“I hereby knight you Dame Poppins the Brave,” Jamie says, stroking her friend’s hair and back.

“I believe you promised me something?” Dani mutters, offering a weak smile.

“I’m a woman of my word. Do you want your reward now or save it for another night?”

After the children had been tucked into bed, Jamie leads Dani to the neighboring woods, their boots crunching across the muddy grass. The night is dark and silent save for the chirping of crickets and occasional hoot of owls. Once they reach the clearing, the gardener sets the lantern and guitar case down before handing her friend an ebony bottle.

“Don’t worry – it’s cider,” Jamie says, draping towels over a log and stump. “Relax Poppins, the night is yours. Celebrate it.”

Dani accepts the gift, and her attention turns to the guitar case. “Nice of Miles to let you borrow it.”

“Yeah that's exactly what happened.” Jamie removes the guitar from its case, seats herself on a log, and tunes the instrument. “Take a look around with the flashlight. Tell me if you notice anything.”

It isn’t long until Dani discovers the stunning, iridescent display of winter jasmines, heathers, pansies, and daffodils dotting the path and trees, their petals bathed in moonlight.

“They’re gorgeous, ethereal even. You did all this?”

“My secret garden.” Jamie smiles as her notes reverberate across the neighboring trees. “Welcome to my special quiet place. A deluge of peace flooded me the instant I came across this sacred plot. Never shared it with anyone, not even Charlotte. Last New Year’s Eve, I wanted to whisk you away for a little chinwag.”

“This garden kinda reminds me of you, the side you don’t bare to the world lest it be trampled by reality. You put a lot of pride in work your boss will likely never see.”

“You as well.”

After viewing all the flowers, Dani takes a seat on the neighboring stump, her attention transfixed by the sight of Jamie strumming the guitar, the soft features of her face that belie her rugged facade, basked in the warm glow of the lantern.

“In case I never told you…I appreciate it,” Dani says. “Your humor and that big ’ol heart you hide under all that sass. The way you’d cheer me up, lifting my spirits even when I was just a stranger to you.

“You’ve taught me so much about integrity, compassion, perseverance…All my life, I’ve felt, well, misunderstood. People assume they know my intensions, but I don’t think anyone gets me as well as you do.”

“Personally, I'd be terrified if someone understood who I am,” Jamie replies, masking her discomfort at undeserved compliments. “How you feeling?”

“Confronting my guilt over Eddie…wasn't nearly as horrifying as I’d envisioned. I felt this lightness after traveling through his body. My fears crumbled when the truth revealed itself, like…placing my hand in boiling water only to discover I can’t be scalded. All because I wanted, more than anything, to move forward with you, and that desire propelled me.”

“And what does moving forward with me look like?” Jamie stops playing the guitar, and they face each other in silence until she changes the subject. “The guitar is a romantic instrument. Allows you to face the person you’re singing to. Care for an old tune I conceived in my youth?” Dani nods.

_Do you still believe the world is beautiful?_

_Through all your loss and pain?_

_When I’m drowning beneath my sorrow,_

_Your existence fills me with hope again_

Dani closes her eyes, allows the calming melody to whisk her away to another world. Jamie’s voice may not be pitch perfect, but her performance is no less sincere and heartfelt, which the au pair finds refreshing. When the gardener finishes, she crosses her arms, draping them over the guitar.

“Did you write that for someone in your past?” Dani asks.

“The melody I’ve carried for a number of years, but the lyrics were inspired by someone in my present.”

Dani feels her heart rate quicken but decides not to let her hopes rise on Jamie’s cryptic message. The gardener sets the guitar back in its case before grabbing the bottle of cider and taking a sip.

“If it’s one thing I can promise you, Poppins, it’s my honesty,” Jamie says. “But I haven’t always volunteered my life story to nosy Americans.”

“I thought they called you Corrigan the Bard.”

“May have paid people a few quid to say that,” Jamie laughs. “Very well. Tonight, I’m taking a risk. Every part of my life is fair game even if you end up thinking differently about me. Fact is, I have fancied women. From a young age, at a time when nobody told me it was possible.”

 _Oh_. So the reason Jamie wouldn’t reciprocate wasn’t because she was straight. She just wasn't into _this woman_.

“If you were courageous enough to bury your ghosts, then I’m left without an excuse,” Jamie sighs. “So here it is: Fairly basic childhood, then mum killed herself shortly after I turned twelve. Quite an age to walk in on a body swinging from the basement ceiling. Her death completely gutted my father, who turned his worship to the bottle.

“Papa Corrigan grew increasingly negligent – one stupid accident too many and he lost custody of us. My brothers and I split up, cycling through as many as half a dozen homes a year. Foster parents prioritized their own brood and expected me to raise the others, kids with mental states little better than mine. I dreamt of leaving this wretched life and flying away.

“I made good marks in school, and teachers rewarded me with Jammie Dodgers and Custard Creams. Those treats were the only possessions I had to my name. Threw massive tantrums when the other children pilfered them, learned to consume the goodies on the way home instead of saving them for when I was starving.

“I started working the factories in my teens. The foster parents would confiscate my earnings, but I managed to hide a third of it under the bottom drawer of my dresser. Years later, I found my precious treasure trove raided – my one-way ticket out of purgatory. Thought I’d reached the lowest possible rung of human despair, but boy am I mistaken.

“Went ballistic after that, fell into the wrong crowd. Met my first girlfriend at eighteen – we were a toxic mess. She got me started on a life of petty crimes. What I did was wrong, my upbringing no justification for my actions. But in my head, in a sick way, I was the only person who mattered, everyone else was disposable.

“You know what happens to the human psyche when you feel aggrieved? The victim card inflates your sense of entitlement; all that matters is getting your share. If you can’t hurt those who wronged you, you take it out on everyone within your vicinity. I figured in this life you either take advantage of others or you play the victim, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to be the latter, not anymore.

“Long story short, my mates decided to loot the estate of the mayor’s son-in-law and asked me to drive. Reckoned they would’ve found someone else, so what’s the harm? It’s not like I held any hopes of a better life. Didn’t hurt that they’d offered me the equivalent of a year’s salary of honest work – imagine making all that in one afternoon. Never even entered the blasted residence, but they’d rehearsed the story, framed me as the mastermind.

“Can’t blame them for wanting to save their own skins. My barrister’s a joke, and they got off with lenient sentences while I was slapped with seven years. Ended up serving half that on account of good behavior. It’s there I meet this therapist; she guided me on how to breathe whenever my eyes see red. Deconstructed my life, part by part, forcing me to acknowledge the areas I didn’t want to see.”

Dani nods, processing her friend’s story and respecting the vulnerability it takes to disclose it. Perhaps she was the first to hear the unvarnished truth. “The woman you saw when you first came to Bly, that was your mother, right? And now that you don’t see her anymore, does it mean you forgive her?”

“I made my peace with it; let’s leave it at that,” Jamie replies. “For the longest time I held my mum responsible for unraveling our family, the string of abusive households, the years rotting in prison. But the one thing I can’t blame her for is the way I reacted to my circumstances. That I am fully accountable.

“After prison, I wandered from job to job, saving up money here and there. Therapy had taught me to stop digging, to work towards righting my life. I’m still a work in progress, but had you known me then you probably would’ve darted the other direction. A year later, I asked for a dance from this girl at a pub, moved in with her not long after.”

The next part, Dani could tell, would be difficult, and for a moment she’s uncertain if Jamie would reveal what happened. The gardener rubs her hands together, looks her friend in the eye, and forges ahead.


	8. Kismat

“So Jamie, I see you have yourself a new apprentice,” Owen remarked. “If only Mr. Wingrave let me hire my own sous-chef.”

“Or someone to help mop up the muddy footprints,” Hannah chimed in.

“I do help out around the manor!” Dani asserted a little too defensively.

Roughly a month and a half into the au pair’s tenure, she managed to gather the residents of Bly for a splendid potluck feast. The original plan was to sit by the lake, but Jamie vetoed it – too many bad memories – and suggested the sculpture garden instead.

“Ever heard about the swans of King Lir’s castle?” Jamie asked after Flora requested a story.

“Not this old chestnut,” Owen teased.

“I’ll have you know they called me Corrigan the Bard back in the day.”

“Can you tell it again?” Flora insisted. “I love all your stories, and maybe Miss Clayton hasn’t heard it.”

“Of course, sweetheart. Back in a time when magic roamed the earth, there lived a man named King Lir who ruled the seas with his beloved wife and four children. After the love of his life passed, he married her sister, who envied the children. Fearful their ghosts would haunt her if she had them murdered, the evil stepmother cast a spell that turned them into swans.

“However, one of the swans relayed what happened to King Lir, who banished his new wife. He would spend the rest of his days at the edge of the lake, tormented by his beloved swan children’s songs. Thus is the myth that inspired Swan Lake.”

Dani waited until after lunch, when the children had moved onto a game of football while Owen and Hannah were absorbed in their own conversation. Then she made her move, taking a seat next to Jamie.

“You never mentioned being a great cook. That stew was one of the top five dishes I’ve ever tasted.”

Jamie grinned. “I’m not one to toot my own horn, but toot toot! Don’t tell Mr. Wingrave or he may have me swapping jobs with Owen.”

“Yeah, if he ever picks up the phone. The children lost their parents, and he’s all they got left. You would think they mattered.”

“We’ve tried, but if that’s all he’s giving, it’s up to us to be there for them. That’s what Charlotte would’ve wanted.” Jamie checked to see if Hannah was preoccupied before snatching another scone. “All right Poppins, you wanted me to open up so now that you’ve held me captive, ask away.”

“Your necklace, the one with a cross on it. Looks just like Hannah’s except it’s smaller and silver. I never took you as the religious type. Or perhaps it’s superstition and you view the pendant as a form of protection?”

“I suppose you can infer the latter.” Jamie reached under her shirt and pulled out the chain. “When I die, there will be nothing but dirt piled up over my body, making way for new life – there’s no afterlife for a heretic like me. This necklace is my most prized possession – a gift from someone close to me, although I wasn’t the intended recipient. Any others?”

“Is it true you prefer plants over people? Surely we all crave someone to hold onto.”

“Ay, people think I distrust everybody, but it’s not like I don’t think good people exist. They’re just rare. People like Charlotte who, before you know it, vanish from your lives. The only person I can truly depend on, the only person I get any say in how they act, is me.

“I’ve dealt with all sorts of characters. Manipulators will manipulate, thieves will steal, and it all makes perfect sense to them. At this point, it’s not even worth getting upset at people who disappoint me. I don't expect others to hold my values, and if I pour my efforts into somebody, I’m not anticipating a prize. Nothing in this life is owed to you and the sooner you make your peace with that fact, the easier this will go.”

Dani sat still, trying to understand the gardener’s point of view. “If you’ve ever been in a relationship, didn’t you have expectations of your partner? Surely if someone claims to love you, there’s a standard for how they should treat you.”

Jamie sunk into the blanket, pensive for a moment. “Ay, you Americans love everything. But those words don’t mean a thing if it’s merely expressing your emotions. Real love is a commitment, that even when life gets tough and sacrifices are required, you see it through.

“In the end, I don’t find it to be worth it, tying your self-worth on how one person sees and treats you. The worst are those who love you a little but not as much as you’d like. Because then there’s a kernel of hope, an expectation they’d get on your level, whereas if they never granted you a passing thought you can more easily move on.”

Dani looked down, reminded of her relationship with Eddie, how she could never get on his level yet gave him just enough to hold onto hope _. Jamie must have been hurt in the past, someone who didn’t reciprocate her feelings._

“So what’s your story?” Jamie asked. “You left your friends, your family, pack a bag and cross the pond just to look after two children who aren’t yours. Could it be you’ve read somewhere about Bly and its reputation? Something’s haunting you, and the only way to resolve it is to stare your demons dead in the face.”

Dani struggled to keep a poker face. “I’m sure you all wonder, but there’s really not that much to it.” Yet Eddie’s specter would emerge in reflection after reflection, and she was nowhere closer to confronting him.

“My only other guess would be some bloke dumped you,” Jamie said. “If that’s the case, you’re still young, and Bly’s not the ideal environment for getting cut and carried.”

“Is that why you came? To escape your suitors?”

“Yeah, they were lining out the door. Had to refer to my lovers by number and hair color – Ginger Five was my favorite. But in all seriousness, I can’t fault those who desire to be loved, but it’s rather irrational how we seek to give it. Because us humans, we’re inherently selfish – it’s in our nature. But love is supposed to be selfless, putting others above our own needs…so why would we furnish it, if not in anticipation of something in return?”

“I find it perfectly plausible for love to be selfless,” Dani replied. “There are few things in this world that lack explanation, but if love was a possibility, why not seize it? I may not have found it for myself, but if I ever meet someone who accepts me as I am and I them, I would hold onto that gift. Maybe that makes me a hopeless romantic, or maybe just hopeless, but I’d be willing to give it everything I’ve got.”

“Even if the other party doesn’t return the favor?”

“If I care about them and they allow me into their lives, there are other ways of showing I care. It shouldn’t be conditional. Yes, you can get burned, but how would you know unless you take that leap of faith? I mean, my fiancé tried with me and even though…” Dani froze, realizing this wasn’t the anecdote she hoped to tell.

“Right. Well…” Catching her friend’s discomfort, Jamie stood up and stretched. “I better start catching up on the work I missed. See you around, Poppins.”

Dani nodded. _Great, now Jamie thinks I’m a jilted bride who came to Bly on a whim._ They gathered the empty dishes before resuming their tasks for the afternoon.

As Dani headed back to the manor with the children in tow, Jamie turned to Owen. “You know, there might actually be some substance to the au pair.”

***

Dani’s focus on Jamie remains unbroken, not paying any heed to the late hour or the freezing winds assaulting her from all sides.

“Her name is Miranda,” Jamie says. “She was a little like you, patient and sweet. The type who rarely has a terrible word to say about anyone. If ever I could work out with anybody, it would be with her. I promised to love her forever, meant it at the time. Instead I took her for granted. The more she sought my affirmation, the more I withheld it from her.

“You know how people are often nice because they expect something in return? With Miranda, it was the opposite – when I ignored her, she’d bend over backwards to regain my approval. Still, I’d ditch her for the pub whenever I felt sick of her, snap at her if I was having a bad day. Never actually cheated but sure came close a couple times.

“When it gets really dark in here…” Jamie taps her chest with a fist. “I withdraw lest that malevolence contaminates the few people I actually care about. Miranda kept trying to get me to open up, but when my insecurities bubbled to the surface, she couldn’t take it.”

Dani interrupts. “When I was paralyzed in my bedroom, you could’ve pretended nothing happened. Instead you dove straight into the trenches with me. By your logic, wouldn’t I have been contaminating you?”

“Apply black paint on a black canvas, there’s not much difference,” Jamie replies. “You’re not the only one carrying guilt around. The way you behaved towards Eddie is nothing compared to how unfairly I treated Miranda – you just had shite luck.

“After landing this job, I got up and left her, no note, no anything. I’m constantly bemoaning how people let me down, how they’re not worth the effort, but you see, much as I’d like to believe I’m different, I’m actually the biggest hypocrite of them all. Miranda wasn't providing me fulfillment and my feelings faded, so I bolted. Last I heard she met some bloke and they’re married with children.

“This may well be the most absurd ‘it's not you, it's me’ you've ever heard. But past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior, and I’m not planting seeds where I don’t see them spouting. Ever heard of the phrase ‘hurt people hurt people?’ I don’t think I’ve even witnessed a healthy relationship my entire life, never seen it demonstrated.”

The gardener sighs, collecting her thoughts, before standing up, hands stuffed in her pockets. “So where would I even start with you? Miranda was the only person who expressed a smidgen of interest in pursuing a forever, and my response was to regard her as an accessory that outlived its luster. Every time you did something thoughtful, trying to win me over, it made me uneasy. Reminded me of the way I treated her, how I’m not someone worth wooing.”

Dani looks down to the bottle of cider. “I know, you can’t force people to like you. If I’m not your person, I won’t pressure you into humoring me…”

“All the times I’ve rebuffed you…it was never a matter of not wanting you,” Jamie continues, her eyes trailing the outline of the trees. “After we started gardening together, it hits me. This one’s different, so different from all the others, and she seems to genuinely enjoy my company. You don’t come across someone this special that often, for some it only happens once. And while I’d prefer shoes with comfortable soles over glass slippers any day, turns out this one’s just as gorgeous inside as she is on the outside.

“All this time you thought I couldn’t possibly like you back, and I let you believe it. Truth is, my whole body aches when I’m around you, and even when you’re not near, I worry about you, want to offer you a hug, a word of assurance, a shoulder to cry on. Whenever you experience those jump scares, I would give anything to switch places and face those fears in your place.”

Jamie turns around, looking her friend in the eye. “I haven’t been falling in love with you, Dani Clayton. I am in love, have been for some time now.

“I’m in love with how insufferably perfect you are, the way you prioritize others before yourself, the selflessness that runs in your blood. How you never blame external factors, dwell on those who mistreat you, or take your misfortune out on the world. The eye-rolly naïveté when you open your heart even though you get taken advantage of, time and again.

“Even the way you march across the grounds, waving those fists about, like you can’t make up your mind between walking or running. How you’re the only one in this manor with a proper education yet seem incapable of brewing a decent pot of tea or coffee. How you clean up messes before Hannah can get to them, pull weeds when you think I’m not looking, wash the dishes even though it’s not part of your duties. Not to mention that ridiculous, warm American smile, as though everything will be alright even when it isn’t, filling me with hope in my darkest days.”

Dani feels her eyes mist. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

Jamie sighs and takes a seat back on the log. “I could blame my pride but it’s not just that. Anyone is capable of falling in love, even PQ. But feelings alone don’t translate into commitment, at least not for long and not if you remain the same person as before. What was the point in telling you, if I was never going to be yours?”

Dani moves to sit beside Jamie and places a hand on her friend’s shoulder. “You’re the one who taught me that I’m more than my past and not defined by the worst thing I’ve ever done.”

Jamie shakes her head. “We’re miles apart, Poppins. I'm nothing special. You should know, standing at the receiving end of my feud with the universe. Some people are motivated to be better by religion, others for family, but I’ve got nobody to impress but myself.

“Last person I truly cared for was Charlotte. She was the first to show me any semblance of unconditional love, helped me bury the ghost of my mother’s suicide. When you discover good people exist, it changes you. Similar to how faith transforms people like Hannah, believing a higher power will always love you.

“I’ve seen loss, and each time I faced a setback I’ve clawed my way back, catching glimpses of light while crawling through a bottomless pit. But I swear the next time someone dies in front of me, when I realize there was never going to be a way out, I will utterly lose it.

“So listen when I tell you to get over the idea of me, because it’s not reality. I’m an unsentimental, selfish, shite person and a lazy lover. A dripping, fabulous mess who’s definitely not your type: the first-kiss-is-the-one-you-marry variety. Why would you even consider picking me, someone you could easily pick up off the street, when someone like you is so uncommon?”

“Do you honestly believe no one could love you as you are, only their idea of you?” Dani asks.

The gardener lowers her head, places a hand on her friend’s knee. “Please, you have to stop loving me. Accept the fact you’re not a difficult person to fall for. All you need to do is choose the right one. You deserve someone with less baggage, someone who’ll make you so very happy…”

Jamie is cut off by a softness pressing against her lips, delicate skin caressing her cheek. She freezes, completely gobsmacked, experiencing Dani’s thoughts and emotions with each kiss: the insatiable yearning and burning impatience, begging the gardener to accept how deeply she is loved.

Her gesture unreciprocated, Dani separates from the embrace, loosening her grip on Jamie’s shoulders. “So sorry I…I overreached again. Can we just go back to when…” She stands up, her fears realized yet again, and walks away as Jamie trails behind.

“It’s just been so long since…the last time I had someone…” Jamie mutters.

“Don’t blame yourself. I should’ve respected your thoughts on the matter…Let’s head back. Thanks for inviting me here tonight.”

Jamie reaches for Dani’s hand, but she turns her tearful face away. The gardener grips the au pair’s shoulder, and they slowly turn to face each other.

It’s impossible for Dani to conceal the way she sees her friend. Amidst all her grief, she carries an intense longing – Jamie is more than anything she’d ever need in this one life.

“Poppins, it’s not like I can just flip a switch and morph into a proper lover.”

“I respect your honesty. There’s no need to sugarcoat…”

The gardener places a hand over her friend’s jaw and smiles. “If you possess the audacity to take me as I am, then I’ll muster the strength to see this through. If we're going to do this, I’ll need to do right by you, put in everything I have.”

This time Jamie would close the chasm, taking Dani’s mouth into hers. _Is this real?_ Dani cups her hands around the sides of her beloved’s face, sensing the way she smiles into their kiss, at last willing to replace loneliness with affection.

Before, Dani couldn’t have asked for more than Jamie’s presence, but having her feelings validated proves exponentially more fulfilling. For all of one minute, she immerses herself in the release of kissing her best friend, her lover, her soulmate. She presses their bodies together as though it is the last opportunity to satisfy her hunger; her only fear is when they would inevitably part from this tender embrace.

Even after it ends, Jamie holds her friend lovingly in her arms, combining their heat as they sway in the cool night air, the sweetness of the kiss lingering on their lips.

“We should get you back,” Jamie finally says, and Dani reluctantly agrees. “Look, our relationship will appear shiny and new at first. Naturally, you’ll want to explore these feelings and absorb as much as you can. But the last thing I’d want is for us to reach the initial emotional highs only to crash and burn. I hope it’s all right if we take this slow.”

 _Was it not slow enough?_ “Of course. I want this to work too.”

Jamie grins. “But first, allow me to serenade you with one last song. It’s a favorite of mine.”

Despite her exhaustion, the gardener pulls the guitar strap over her shoulder and begins to strum, nice and slow. She croons with a grin on her face as her body rocks to the melody.

_I never did believe in miracles_

_But I've a feeling it's time to try_

_I never did believe in the ways of magic_

_But I'm beginning to wonder why_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’d imagine an arrangement similar to Jewel’s acoustic cover of _You Make Loving Fun._


	9. The Anxious American

“How are you still in bed? Is this the way you plan to act when school starts in the fall?”

Early last summer, Dani found herself rudely awakened as her mother opened the curtains and sunlight penetrated the bedroom. “Mom? What are you…”

“It's almost two in the afternoon! What’s with all the untouched food Mrs. O’Mara left in the fridge, and when’s the last time you took out the trash? I may be able to put up with this, but don’t you for a second think another man will be fine and dandy with this pigsty. Does your boss know…are you trying to get yourself fired?”

In the weeks since, Dani had found it exceedingly difficult to get out of bed let alone leave the apartment she had shared with Eddie. Every item in the house served as a momento to the man whose life she took, but she had nowhere else to stay.

“I told the principal I’m not coming back,” Dani mumbled. She had ended the school year with too many tardies, incidents of crying in the faculty bathroom. She submitted her resignation, but the decision was fairly mutual. “I’ll find something…don’t you have a church friend who works in insurance?”

“Are you trying to hurt me, Danielle? Is this what it is?”

Dani sat up and faced her mother, who leaned against her desk. “Can you stop equating me with dad? I have never purposely done anything to hurt you.”

“You called me your best friend and promised you’d never lie to me, you remember? Does that mean anything to you? It was just you and me from the day he left us for that…that tramp!”

“Mom, you need to get over it. What dad did was inexcusable, but it’s damaged you for far longer than…”

“Am I getting a lecture from my own daughter about letting go? You heard Mrs. O’Mara; no one in the family blames you for what happened. She still considers you a daughter. It was a terrible accident.”

“I swear if one more person tells me it’s not my fault, I’m going to scream. Eddie lost control of the wheel because we were arguing! I never loved him, all right? Not in the same way.”

“I don’t follow. You were about to marry your best friend.”

“Mom…I think I'm gay. Actually, no. I am.”

Dani’s mother chuckled and shook her head. “Not this again.”

“I'm serious. I tried telling you back in high school, but you pretended I didn’t say anything. I hoped to vindicate myself with Eddie.”

“That’s not possible. I raised you right. Did I not offer you enough attention? Was I a bad mother?”

“It’s not anything you did! You think I want this? I've prayed, mom. I’d get on my knees, bawling my eyes out to God, begging him to make me attracted to men. With everything going on, why would I make life difficult for myself? I tried so hard to love Eddie, but…”

“But you don’t feel for him the way you feel about women?” Dani’s mother scoffed and was shocked to find her daughter nodding. “You’re confused and traumatized – we all are after the incident. But don’t be insane. No child of mine is ending up as one of those…those freaks! Do you want to catch AIDS, is that it? Can you imagine what your aunts and uncles will think?”

“I don’t want to embarrass you or be judged by them either,” Dani cried. “We don’t have to mention a word.”

“I wasn’t mad about your father either when we married, but I wanted a family to love and a child to call my own! At least I had that, but what will you end up with?”

“Well, you got that family, but you ended up with me. Another disappointment.”

Dani’s mother walked up to her daughter and folded her arms. “I’m already going through a rough time, but you want to play games? Fine. Don’t call for help, don’t ask for money, don’t expect me to bail you out until you’re back in the right frame of mind. I have zero patience for anymore nonsense.”

Without her mother, there was no one left to turn to. Dani’s friends had all but abandoned her, too busy or unwilling to put up with her depressed state. So she checked her bank account and called the airlines, inquiring about airfare. When asked where she wanted to go, her answer was “away.”

A month later, Dani boarded a flight across the Atlantic, attempting to outrun the demon that resided within her the entire time.

***

“There’s something funny about Miss Clayton,” Flora notes.

A few weeks after her confession, Jamie is working the gardens with Flora. Spring is approaching Bly, and so the gardener sets about a new round of seeding.

“Hm? How so?”

“Like, she doesn’t panic when she sees her reflection. No more silly blankets over her bedroom mirror. She looks so jolly all the time; Miles reckons she’s on canny-bus. And she’s lively too. It’s rather splendid, I think.”

Indeed, Jamie found their relationship progressing surprisingly smoothly while Dani never seemed to have doubted. The gardener isn’t accustomed to people appreciating her simply as she was or a relationship defined by a sense of wholeness over mercurial passion, and she resolves to support the au pair best she can. Maybe, just maybe, they could make it to the end.

“Why do you suppose she acts this way?” Jamie asks.

“Maybe she found herself a boyfriend. Miss Jessel told me love can make you do stupid things. Do you have any admirers, Miss Corrigan?”

“Whatever gave you the idea I’d find anyone preferable to plants?”

“Because you’ve been less prickly.”

Jamie laughs, chucking a flower bud at Flora’s hair, before checking her watch. “You, my dear, are going to be late to lunch. Why don’t you let me finish up over here and I’ll join you in a bit?”

Flora skips into the manor, and Dani steers her to the bathroom to wash up, fighting the impulse to ask about Jamie. Their relationship has been discreet: a knowing glance across the room, a squeeze on the hand while passing by, an all-too-brief kiss when alone in the gardens. Their pairing would have been too scandalous if exposed.

Dani’s mind drifts to a few nights prior. They were lying on her bed, clinging onto each other’s warmth. Addicted to the sensations washing over her, she grasped for completeness that came with each fiery kiss, whimpering every time their lips parted. Without consciously realizing it, Jamie slipped her hands beneath her girlfriend’s shirt, caressing the waist before navigating upward.

In an instant, Dani broke away, almost striking Jamie across the face. Catching her girlfriend’s state of shock, the gardener backed down, petrified by what she had done.

“I’m not ready,” Dani murmured apologetically, her face grim. “I…”

“Hey, listen.” Jamie sat up and held Dani’s face gently in her hands. “I apologize for overstepping. I don’t want you ever feeling like you can’t communicate where you’re at.”

“I’m sorry to disappoint you if that’s…”

“Everything at your own pace. Look, I’m the one who wanted to take this slow. We don’t even have to go through with it if you’re not comfortable. Just promise me you won’t proceed with anything simply on my account.” Jamie raised her right pinky finger.

“Thanks for understanding.” Dani wiped her face with the back of her hand and interlocked their pinky fingers.

“I’ll take this late hour as my cue to leave. My truck’s windows fog up when it gets too cold.”

“Jamie…” Dani reached over and squeezed her girlfriend’s hand. “I love you.”

Jamie smiled, the declaration still leaving her with chills every time she heard them. She leaned over for a kiss before donning her jacket. The next few words don’t come easily from her mouth, but she had promised honesty. “I love you too. More than anything.”

As Dani escorted her girlfriend out, there was so much she wanted to say. To assure her she didn’t stop for lack of attraction. Yes, Jamie was much more experienced in this regard, but the au pair was confident her girlfriend would prioritize her safety and comfort.

Painful memories resurfaced of Dani’s first time with Eddie. How he shot back a look of _that’s all?_ when she finally removed her shirt. As though he’d been cheated of the goods promised him. And while her fiancé didn’t seem impressed with her body, he nevertheless ploughed ahead with the deed.

Had he not realized how differently they experienced the moment, how much she longed for it to end? But if Eddie had picked up on her lack of response, he didn't seem to be offended.

“That was good,” he’d say simply before turning in for the night, secure in his prowess. Meanwhile, Dani made sure to keep her birth control prescription filled.

And now she had her own awkward episode with someone she genuinely felt a connection with, someone who might also be let down by the sight of her. If after time passes and she finally felt ready, how would she broach the subject again?

“Miss Clayton? Lunch will be cold.”

“Oh? You’ll be pleased with what Owen and I have whipped up.”

Flora takes Dani by the hand and floats into the kitchen. “Could we visit the cemetery later? It’s mum’s birthday today.”

“Of course, but first let’s ask Mr. Sharma or Miss Corrigan if they can offer a ride.”

“Wouldn’t be a bother at all,” Owen says, ladling mushroom gravy over a plate of shepherd’s pie. “I could take the opportunity to sweep the gravesite. Care to join us, Hannah?”

“Oh no.” Hannah shakes her head. “Someone should watch over the manor, and my headaches are worsening. But I’ll light a candle at the chapel and offer up a prayer.”

Dani walks up to Hannah. “Would it be fine if I kept a wine bottle from Mr. Wingrave’s collection? I’d ask him myself if I could reach him.”

“I don’t see any issues with that at all, love. Just promise you won’t down it all in one go.”

“Do you call your mum on her birthday?” Flora asks after taking a seat next to Miles.

“We haven’t talked in a long while,” Dani replies as she sets the table.

“Does she know you’re here with us?”

Dani shakes her head. “I mentioned it, but I think it went over her head.”

“Wouldn’t she be worried? My mum said to always look after family first.”

“Family isn’t always by blood. It can be by choice. And right now, I consider everyone at Bly Manor to be family.”

“But she’s still your kin,” Owen chimes in. “I didn’t always agree with my own mother, not even half the time, but she’ll always be mine and I’ll always be hers.”

“Everything is fine; thanks for your concern,” Dani replies brusquely.

“Surely you can spare a phone call. Let her know you’re alive and kicking.”

“I’m sorry Owen, but you don’t have any idea what’s going on. Excuse me.” She sets her napkin on the table and storms out of the kitchen.

Just as Dani enters the foyer, Jamie saunters through the front door, revealing a small bouquet of pink Daphne flowers from behind her back. She catches her girlfriend’s distraught expression and her face falls.

“Poppins, what’s the matter?” The gardener steps forward, only to be brushed aside.

Confused, Jamie enters the kitchen and hangs up her gardening hat. “What’s gotten into her?”

“Word to the wise: don’t ever mention her mum,” Hannah answers.

“Why’re you people knocking on her mother?”

“Of course you’re on her side,” Owen grumbles.

“Mr. Sharma only suggested Miss Clayton call her mum,” Miles explains. “I don’t see why she had to turn it into a quarrel.”

“Right. Well, I’ll go check on her. I’m sure it’ll get sorted out, Sharma.”

Jamie ventures past the greenhouse to the sculpture garden. Dani is already there, pacing about the grounds.

“Care for a little company?” The gardener carries Biscuit in her arms and places him beside her girlfriend. “Reckoned PQ’s pup might be curious to meet the hand that feeds him.”

Dani squats down to massage Biscuit’s neck. “I just…I prefer to walk it out when these anxiety attacks pop up.”

“Could I tag along? If you don’t mind.”

“I don’t even know why I snapped,” Dani sniffles as she begins to walk, and Jamie closely follows the same pace. “Seems like half the time you see me, I’m an emotional mess.”

“As long as I’m not the cause, I won’t be daunted. Our emotions are like steam in a kettle…leave them simmering too long, it’s going to come out one way or another. Our feelings provide a compass; use them as a guide to find what’s bothering you and triggering your reaction.”

“I’m sorry. You didn’t sign on to be my therapist nor should you provide reassurance in every other sentence.”

“I’ll always have your back, Poppins. It’s part of the deal. However, I’ll also tell you the way I see it. Sure, Owen can be overbearing at times, but at least for me, everything he says makes sense in the end. I don’t know if he ever told you, but his mum started losing bits of her mind a decade ago. Early onset dementia. Looked after her like a dutiful son to her dying days.”

“I’m not upset at Owen; I’m mad at myself for how I handled things back home. I just forgave myself for Eddie’s death, and now there’s this excess energy without an outlet to release it. Even after lifting this guilt off my shoulders, I’m left with an unresolved, broken relationship with my mother…

“Yes, she made me upset, the way she kept dismissing my fears, insisting I tough it out with Eddie as though it was a matter of willpower. After dad left, I vowed to never lie or hide anything from her, but she repudiated her own daughter the moment I shared my truth.

“But none of this discounts the fact I’m still the prodigal daughter. The one who traveled half a world away and stopped calling to avoid these difficult conversations, the ones where you end up talking in circles.”

Jamie places a hand on her girlfriend’s shoulder. “What do you want to do? Would you speak with her again, or do you believe nothing productive will come of it? Whatever you decide, I’ll support you.”

“I appreciate it,” Dani replies, watching Biscuit roam across the garden. “This isn’t the first time I’ve had a meltdown, and it’s not going to be the last.”

“Poppins! I didn’t pick you just to see your cheery side. It’s the whole package, all or nothing. Trust me, your little outbursts are nothing compared to what I’ve experienced.”

Dani thinks back to the friends who bolted, preferring the happy version of herself. “Sorry, it’s not that I don’t believe you. I’m just not used to…you can have expectations of me, you know.”

“Who’s to say you’re not everything I could hope for and then some?” Jamie takes both of her girlfriend’s hands into hers. “You know the first time I found you endearing? When I saw you dumping whole fistfuls of sugar into the pitcher while making tea.” 

“Oh c’mon.” Dani rolls her eyes.

“Really! There’s a certain charm that comes with such well-meaning naiveté. I adored you then, as I adore you now. I’ve no idea how you do it, how you could love this curmudgeon. You don’t ever need to hide who you are from me.”

Dani musters a laugh. “Jamie, I…I’m not this person you think so highly of. I want to be, but the me right now is who I truly am, nervous and impulsive. You’ve been hurt before, and I’m afraid if I let you down you’ll take it out on humanity.”

“If you let me down, Poppins, that’s on me. I made the decision to love you, to take that chance and see where this leads us. I actually find it a tad upsetting, the way you appear to mean what you just said as opposed to presenting a test. Look, I adore every obnoxious, jittery part of you. You’re not getting rid of me that easily. If anything…” Jamie trails off, stopping in her tracks.

“If anything, I’ve been thinking…” the gardener continues. “About rage. The dragon in the dungeon clawing at my chest, straining against the chain, goading me to let it out. Before Bly, I had moments, moments that make snapping at you last New Year’s Eve look like asking what’s for dinner. My past was consumed by who slighted me over what. Fact is, I’m the product of a raging alcoholic father and mentally unstable mother. You don’t deserve to be put through this side of me, I can’t…”

Dani drapes her arms around Jamie’s waist and rests her head against the gardener’s shoulder.

“Oh, Dani,” Jamie croaks, settling into her girlfriend’s embrace. “Now you’re turning me into a mess.”

“So…what do we do now?”

“When you’re ready, talk to Owen. We both know he’s not one to hold grudges.”

Dani nods. “Yeah, it doesn’t feel as bad once you make a plan to fix the problem.”

Jamie smiles. “While we’re both here, there’s something I want to show you.” She takes her girlfriend by the hand and leads them to a conspicuous clearing several yards away.

“This was the spot where I nearly died, or at best be left paralyzed for life,” the gardener says. “A great oak stood here for the better part of two centuries. Last summer, I was working in its shade when I felt this prick on my neck. I kept at it until I was overcome with the most dreadful, ominous headache.

“As I’m heading back to the manor to clear my mind, not a minute goes by before the oak toppled over, right above the very spot I’d been standing. Still don’t know what divine spirit granted me favor that day. The incident rattled me up a good half hour as I pondered the frivolity of life. Ever since that day, I’d experience a wave of peace here and there, comes and goes.”

“Do you ever feel like there are benevolent spirits looking after you?” Dani asks.

“I’m not one for superstition, but I suppose if we’ve got someone as malevolent as the Lady, there’d ought to be some balance.”

“I know someone – or something – is looking out for me too. And given all that’s happened, there’s got to be some comfort in that.”

“Certainly.”

Before they reach the entrance of the manor, Dani spins around. “What do you think they make of the au pair sneaking out with the gardener after dinner every night?”

“I reckon they get suspicious of me leaving later each day.”

“I wish you could stay the night, at least once in a while.”

“Me too. During the drive back, all I’m thinking of is how I’d rather be spending that time with you.”

“We could tell them.”

Jamie cocks an eyebrow. “You sure about that?”

“After we encountered the Lady, I asked Flora to never hide anything from me again. So she made me pinky promise I’d treat her more like an adult and trust her with secrets too.”

“You made a promise to an 8-year-old?” Jamie laughs. “Listen. If people want to hurl insults at me, I’ll take it. I’ve learned not to associate my self-worth with the way I’m treated. But if they were to curse you…”

“If you or I was a man, they’d be celebrating with us. I don’t want to hide it anymore, the handholding, the hugs, the fear someone will discover those little notes you write me. I want the world to know how proud, how lucky I am because of this incredible woman I chose.”

“All right, we’ll set a time and tell them,” Jamie replies, opening the door for Biscuit before they step inside.


	10. Perfectly Dreadful

“You whore!”

“You’re the only man I’ve been with since arriving at Bly…”

“Let me see: There’s the cook, the boys in town who ogle you!”

“You’re the one who insisted on not wearing protection! That it’d impede your comfort.”

Summer was fading into fall when Rebecca broke the news to Peter, bawling into his lap. The valet shoved his girlfriend away and stood up, his words dripping with disgust. “Find me when you’re honest about what you did!”

Peter barged out of the kitchen and into his car, slammed his hands against the wheel. A baby? Sure, he’d always wanted children, lots of them, but only after he’d made it in society and certainly not with the nanny.

How much would it cost to feed it? Would Rebecca pressure him to play daddy? What impact would it have on his career? No, it couldn’t be his. She had a wandering eye, he was sure of it.

The Wingrave children had been marking the calendar for every sighting of the Lady, just as Peter had instructed. He copied the information onto his own planner and circled the date their parents died. It didn’t take long to make the association: the new moon.

A week later, Peter sheepishly greeted his girlfriend and unveiled a massive bouquet of flowers. Rebecca found herself at a loss for words, having felt so abandoned and alone, even fearful he would assault her.

“Will you forgive a poor fool, my darling Becs?” Peter asked. “I reacted out of fear. I was scared because…of how much I love you! If you so desire to keep that baby, I’ll treat it as my own. Let me be your rock.”

The governess hesitated. The past week she had been sobbing on the sofa with the gardener rubbing her back, urging her to move on to finer men.

“You have some gall, Peter Quint!” Rebecca cried, pushing him back. “After everything I did for you, things I would’ve never done if I never met you! When I needed you most, you blamed me and fled! I want to believe you, but not if we continue on the same path…”

“Allow me to make it up to you. I have a romantic date planned, but you’ll have to wake up extra early.”

Rebecca stared into her boyfriend’s eyes, gauging his sincerity. “Let me guess, a picnic to catch the sunrise.”

“Am I this predictable?” Peter laughed. “I’ll wake you, so get a good night’s rest.”

For the first time in weeks, Rebecca discovered a peaceful night’s sleep. Her love had finally seemed to accept her. Maybe he was proposing? That would be the respectable thing to do.

With the skies still overcast, Peter pressed Rebecca to hurry. They rushed out of the manner, its floorboards stained with muddy footprints…but from where? Finally, they settled right before the lake, waiting for the sun.

“Why do you keep looking behind us?” Rebecca asked.

“Nothing, it’s just…” Peter tucked a strand of hair behind his girlfriend’s ear. “This moment is so perfect; I would hate for anyone to interrupt and ruin it.”

“I doubt it at this hour. Peter, I know this news isn’t what you hoped for.”

“It’s fantastic, really.” Peter took two glass flutes from the picnic basket and poured the champagne. “I told my mother, and she can’t wait to welcome you into the family. Cheers to us, the Prince and Princess of Bly.”

“Funny, I thought that was Miles and Flora,” Rebecca replied, accepting the champagne flute.

“I uh…I wrote you something.” Peter reached into his pocket and handed her a letter. “Read it.”

Rebecca blushed, unfolding the sheet of paper. To her surprise, it’s only one sentence, but the message sounded romantic indeed. “It’s you, it’s me, it’s us.”

“Louder, Becs. Shout it like you mean it!”

Rebecca raised an eyebrow but accepted the instruction. “It’s you! It’s me! It’s us!”

Around them the clouds were beginning to lift, warming under the heat of the sun.

Peter stood up, blocking her view of the advancing specter. “One last time. Say the words loudly.” Rebecca hesitated, but he pushed her. “Do it!”

“It’s you, it’s me, it’s us,” she said, her voice quivering as the Lady descended towards them. “Peter, who’s that?”

“What are you talking about? It’s just us.” Suddenly, the valet leapt out of the way as Rebecca remained still, fear paralyzing her every muscle.

Without mercy, the Lady clamped her right hand around Rebecca’s neck. The governess instinctively clawed at the specter’s grip but to no avail. _Peter, help me! I’ll die! Our baby!_

The valet stood still, hands in his pockets, as his girlfriend drowned. Only after he witnessed her lifeless body floating on the lake’s surface did he return to his car. This wasn’t his original plan, but dead was dead, what did it matter the method?

And so the residents of Bly Manor attended their second funeral in a year, with Peter making a spectacle out of his tearful outbursts. When the valet sensed an opportunity, he quizzed Flora about the magic words that allow a ghost to posses their bodies, but she turned him away in her grief.

Not one to accept rejection, Peter would find his answer by their next meeting. Flora told him the host couldn’t just recite the words; they must accept the possession with all their heart.

_But where to find such a person?_

***

“Listen up you lot. Dani and I have an announcement.”

Days after the decision was made, Jamie and Dani stand before Owen, Hannah, and the children as they gather around the kitchen table. The gardener turns to her girlfriend, who nods, granting her permission to do the honors.

“You see, when I first came to Bly it was for a job. Every day since it’s been planting and weeding and watering. Don’t be mistaken, that monotony was heaven sent, my obsession if there ever was one, and I know you all think it’s because plants don’t talk back but…”

“Jamie…” Hannah rolls her eyes.

“Right. Point is, every day I do my job and that’s just it, enough to eke out an existence. But for the first time, I feel like I’m actually living, the difference between a house plant that’s never basked in the sun and a wild fern expanding its roots deep within the forest ecosystem.

“You see, Dani and I…are happily in love. With each other. And if you can, for the time being, refrain from telling Mr. Wingrave he’d hired a pair of dykes, we’d greatly appreciate it.”

“Oh…wow.” Owen feigns surprise.

“How lovely you two finally acknowledged it.” Hannah smiles, resting her cheek against her palm.

“I figured as much,” Miles says.

“Wait, you all knew?” Jamie asks. “Sharma?”

Owen throws up his hands. “Swear it wasn’t me.”

“Is that what Miss Clayton was talking about in her letter?” Flora asks. “Miles, you told me it was drugs, but actually they were in love!”

“Same difference,” Miles replies defensively.

Flora bounces over to Dani, giving her au pair a hug around the waist. “Silly me for assuming. Can I be the flower girl at your wedding?”

“That’s really, really far ahead.” Dani hugs Flora back and declines to bring up the fact she legally couldn’t.

“Well that went a lot smoother than we anticipated,” Jamie says as Hannah ducks out of the kitchen.

“I believe I speak for all of us when I say this is one occasion we can toast to,” Owen says. “I’ll bake us a cake tonight, to celebrate. Or should I say, a gayke?”

Jamie groans. “Sharma, you are not, under any circumstances, to crack a single pun during this most joyous of occasions.”

“I do love a good party,” Flora says, her face lighting up. “Where should we have it? Miles, you’ll make decorations with me, you must.”

Jamie delivers a light elbow jab to Owen’s ribs. “Oi Sharma, an all-out celebration could be yours too if you know what I mean. I’ll personally serve as the grandmaster at your parade.”

“What’s the special occasion?”

Silence blankets the room as a well-dressed visitor strides into the kitchen, suitcase in hand. Peter spots Dani and grins. “Remember me? Rest assured, I haven't forgotten you, darling.” He takes her hand and lifts her fingers to his lips.

Hannah returns with a Polaroid camera, and Peter recoils in shock. “Is this the housekeeper’s twin?”

Owen cocks an eyebrow. “That’s Mrs. Grose. Unless you have reason to believe otherwise.”

“Why wouldn’t I? I simply…that’s not important. Great to see you in good health, all of you.” He directs his attention back to Dani. “Miss Clayton, my sincerest apologies. Mr. Wingrave has me running all sorts of projects back in London. Perhaps I can make amends, starting today. Do you have a minute?”

From behind her back, Dani gives Jamie’s hand a squeeze, assuring her girlfriend of where she stands. “Yes, that’s fine.”

“Good. Allow me to put my things away, then meet me at my office.” Catching Hannah’s dismay, he corrects himself before leaving. “Mr. Wingrave’s study.”

“Does this mean there won’t be a party?” Flora whispers to Dani.

“Maybe another day.”

Hannah walks over to the couple and whispers, “How about we commemorate this moment in a photograph? Now look cute and smile!”

Ten minutes later, Dani arrives at the study. Peter gestures for her to shut the door, which she reluctantly does.

“It’s not that I’ve been neglectful,” Peter begins. “I swear I…”

“No need to worry about it. You don’t owe me a thing. I was actually hoping to discuss an important matter. We know that you know. About the Lady in the Lake.”

Peter looks up from the desk and stands. “Would explain why you have all the windows boarded up. So you’re well aware Mr. Wingrave sent me here to investigate how best to lift the curse. To protect everyone at Bly.”

“The Lady must have some weakness. The new moon is returning tomorrow night, which is why I presume you’re back.”

“I wish I knew how to stop her; I really do. But she’s not the reason I’m here, not the main one.” Peter sidles up to Dani, places his thumbs on her cheeks, and grins. “Let’s talk about us, our future.”

Before he can lean over to kiss her, Dani takes a step back. “I have something to give you.” She reaches into her pocket and reveals the lapis lazuli necklace.

In an instant, Peter’s gentlemanly demeanor vanishes. “Was it someone else? Mr. Sharma? Could it be…Miles?”

“Be serious, Mr. Quint. I already told you in my letters that I’m flattered…”

Peter scoffs. “May I make a suggestion? If you want to make it, like really advance in society, you’d best associate yourself with finer company.”

“I’m more than content with the company I’ve got. I really like you, just not in that way.” She stuffs the necklace into his hand. As she moves towards the door, he grabs her wrist.

“Please, Miss Clayton. You’re a nanny now, but by next year I’ll have you hiring your own. We could be so happy together. I…” He looks away, collecting himself, before staring the au pair straight in the eye. “I’ve actually never told any other woman this, but…I love you.”

“I appreciate your affection – humbled, in fact. It’s just, I can’t…”

In an instant, Peter seizes Dani by the shoulders and pins her against the door. “Please, this is your future. I don’t want you coming back with regrets. We could…” Suddenly, he releases her and grips the back of his head, his face wincing in pain.

Dani reaches for the doorknob, twists it, and steps out backwards. She dashes down the steps and out the manor, her heart beating wildly. Her feet propel her forward, stopping only when she reaches the shed, where Jamie is standing on a ladder, clearing debris from the roof.

Dani opens her mouth, ready to disclose what just happened. She could see the next several seconds play out – Jamie rushing down the ladder, comforting her with a hug, promising to set Peter straight.

But then what? Does Jamie need another situation to worry about? What if the gardener draws Peter’s ire and he takes the rejection out against her?

“You all right there, Poppins?” Jamie asks, tossing yet another branch to the ground. She lacks a clear line of sight but senses something is off with her girlfriend.

“Yeah. I was wondering what you’d like for lunch?”

Jamie laughs. “You know I don’t have a preference either way. Anything else you want to discuss or can it wait five minutes?”

“Could I borrow your shovel?”

“Be my guest.” If Jamie was puzzled by the request, she didn’t show it.

“Thanks.” Dani lowers her head and paces back to the manor, still rattled by her meeting with Peter.

That night, Peter waits until Dani is in the shower before catching Flora in her bedroom alone, playing with her dollhouse.

“Do you know why Miss Clayton doesn’t show an interest in me anymore?” he asks.

Flora fidgets, searching for the right words to say. “Sorry, love hurts. Miss Jessel once told me that. I don't think Miss Clayton ever fancied you.”

“How would you know unless your nanny mentioned something? Does she have a new person in her life? Is it the cook?”

“Maybe ask…Miss Clayton? I can’t say any more than that.”

“So she doesn’t want others to know,” Peter mutters before heading downstairs.

Peter pauses by the doorway to the living room and overhears Owen and Hannah’s conversation, observing the tenderhearted way they regard each other. He crosses the foyer and notices Jamie leaving Dani’s bedroom.

“You’re here awful late for someone who operates in sunlight,” he says. “What were you doing just now?”

“Left my coat in there,” Jamie replies. “Was about to take off for the night.”

“I see. Interesting place to leave your clothes.”

“Let it out, Mr. Quint. You don’t like me, and I don’t like you. So skip the chitchat and tell me what it is you want.”

“Is the aggression warranted? Unlike the others in the manor, I never despised you.” He takes a few steps forward. “What do you make of the au pair?”

“You sought me for a performance evaluation?” Jamie scoffs. “Originally, I didn’t think she’d last through the holidays. But she does great work. The children adore her. She’s fine.”

“Just fine? Then I’m sure you won’t mind if I hire her as my secretary?”

Jamie shrugs. “Why should that matter in my line of work? It’s her decision. The kids, however, might raise a ruckus.”

“Miss Clayton disappeared into the woods earlier today with a shovel. You don’t find that peculiar?”

“The only thing I find curious is a grown man stalking her.”

The valet glares into the gardener’s eyes, attempting to decipher her emotions. “Ever wonder why you’ll never advance in society? Smiling will do you a world of good.”

“I’m comfortable where I’m at. Thanks.”

“Drive safe, Miss Corrigan.” Peter turns on his heel and trudges back upstairs.

It isn’t until after midnight, well after Jamie departed, when Peter returns downstairs and knocks on Dani’s bedroom door.

“Mr. Quint?” Dani squints, her mind still disoriented. At this hour, the au pair would have expected Flora to come in after a nightmare – one night, she even invited the girl to stay over. “Is something wrong?”

“As a matter of fact, yes.” Peter stands in his undershirt and shorts; his chin is clean-shaven and his skin reeks of cologne. “Don’t you ever feel lonely in your room, wishing you could share in another’s heat?”

“It’s late. Could we discuss this in the morning?”

“Discuss it in the morning?” Peter howls. “You were always different from the other women. If this is the way you treat an opportunity knocking at the door, how could you ever expect to get ahead?”

A chill runs down Dani’s spine, the recognition of impending danger. “If you’re suggesting what I think you are, I can assure you I’m absolutely not interested.” She moves to close the door, but Peter blocks it with one hand.

“I’m not like the others you’ve had. Accept no substitutes for the real thing. I can teach you a few tricks and guarantee you a very good night. How about it?”

The au pair’s heart thunders, every nerve on edge. Not a single soul is within their vicinity. Should she scream, make it as difficult as possible for him to dominate? The valet pushes the door aside, ready to step into the room.

“Augh! This again!” Peter lurches back, seizing the back of his skull, and nearly topples to the ground. “You demon! What are you doing to me?!”

Dani slams the door shut and jams a chair underneath the doorknob. She presses her ear against the door, listening for Peter’s footsteps when he finally departs. Her heartbeat hammers between her ears as a sense of peace now replaces the ominous aura, calming her quaking body.

Something is protecting her, Dani is positive of it. But what was it?


	11. The Longest Night Pt. 1

The week following Rebecca’s death, Hannah offered her suspicions to the authorities, the thefts Peter had pressured the governess to commit. Unable to dismiss the one person who knew too much, Henry handed down a suspension. The day after Christmas, Peter returned to Henry’s office with a proposition.

“What if I told you I could rid Bly of the demon who killed Flora’s parents? Give me three months, I promise to figure it out by then. Don’t forget the bodies I’ve buried for you. Figuratively, of course.”

Henry settled in his chair. “What’s the catch?”

“Here’s how it’s going to work. I’ll banish the demon and you put the estate up for sale. All I ask for is a reasonable cut. Fifty percent of Bly and a board position. You can’t sell it anyways given its reputation, and upkeep is a fortune just to house two children – you’d be saving money to get it off your hands.”

“What’s to stop me from consulting the exorcist down the street?”

“Because I always accomplish what I set out to do. When Dunsfield residents refused to surrender their ancestral homes at any price, who finagled them to the bargaining table? Who paid off union leaders, persuaded them to screw over their membership and accept greater concessions? Who actually gets you results, the pretentious Eton grads or me?”

“Last time I trusted you, Charlotte died. And what about Miss Jessel, was that supposed to be an accident?”

“All the more reason to let me make this right. Have you ever considered how many more years of losses your business can take? You must sell the blasted manor sooner or later. If you don’t believe what I say is possible, what’s the harm in letting me try?”

“The estate has stayed in our family for thirteen generations.” Henry stares at the clock, then back at Peter. “Ten percent.”

“Forty or I’m walking away with all your secrets.”

“Thirty, final offer, and a VP title with possible advancement to board. I’ll have your running projects by the start of the new year, include you in every meeting of significance. If you don’t find that generous enough, you’re free to take it to the police.”

Peter smirks, sliding his hands into his pockets. “Now we’re talking, Henry.”

***

“This will be our third new moon of the year,” Owen says over the breakfast table the next morning. “Jamie and I will stay over once again to make sure everything is in order, and as long as we keep our doors locked tight like we did last month, I don’t foresee us having any problems.”

“Mr. Quint, could you please let Mr. Wingrave know what’s happening?” Hannah asks. “Ask him to grant the children safer lodging for the night.”

“I’ll raise it the next time we speak,” Peter replies, downing a glass of wine.

Owen couldn’t help but eye Peter suspiciously. The valet knows something about Hannah, something about the children’s parents too, but what?

After everyone else had left the kitchen, Dani asks to stay behind with Owen.

“It’s mostly peeling this morning, and I can’t have you cutting yourself,” Owen says.

“Please. I want to assist.”

“It’s a delightful morning for soaking in sunshine, not toiling with this old chap. Your insistence on helping is enough. Go on!”

“Which vegetables do you want to get started on first?” Dani asks, reaching for the peelers, and Owen relents.

Dani spends the afternoon sweeping the manor with Hannah and tending the gardens with Jamie.

“Something bugging you, Poppins?”

“What? No. Did I give off those vibes?”

Jamie nods. “You’ve seemed uneasy since breakfast. Now you’re glancing over your shoulder every few minutes. Look, I’m doing my best to respect your autonomy. You don’t need to divulge, just know that I’m listening if you do. You should never be afraid of telling me anything. I won’t hold it against you.”

“It’s not that. I know you won’t judge me.”

“I’m here to support you. If there’s anything…”

“I’ll be fine. Please, let’s finish this up so we can end early.”

After tucking the children to bed that night, Dani makes her way down the stairs and overhears a contentious phone call by the front door.

“I’ve been summoned,” Peter announces, slamming the phone down before storming past her and up the stairs. No sooner did he pack his suitcase and exit the manor does the phone ring once more.

Dani picks it up. “Wingrave residence.”

“It’s Henry.”

“Henry who?”

“Wingrave. You know, the one whose signature adorns your checks.” _Oh._ The last time they spoke was during the interview, where he made it clear he was not to be disturbed unless the children had blood gushing uncontrollably from their arteries. “Is this Miss Clayton? Did Peter leave? Did he…do anything to the manor?”

Dani takes a moment to collect herself. “Yes, it’s me and Mr. Quint left not too long ago. He’s been using your study and Mrs. Grose said he was staying in the master bedroom.”

“I specifically told him not to enter Charlotte’s room! Are the children safe?”

“Yes, but…” She pauses. If Peter was telling the truth, Henry had known the manor was haunted yet chose to do nothing.

“What is the matter? Miss Clayton, I command you to tell me.”

“Have you ever noticed anything supernatural about Bly? A certain Lady in the Lake, perhaps?” A telling pause follows. “The children are safe, in case you’re wondering. We’re locking all the doors tonight.”

“Good, I knew you’d have it under control.”

“Are you aware that two months ago, your gardener broke her wrist and nearly drowned after shielding Miles and me from the Lady?”

After several seconds pass in silence, Henry sighs. “I never wanted to cause so much trouble. I am under immense pressure at work.” He’s interrupted by a sneeze on the line. “Who’s that?”

“Um…” A young girl’s voice responds.

“Flora, you should be in your bedroom, especially on a night like this,” Dani says.

“I didn’t mean to eavesdrop. I heard the phone go off and thought it might be Uncle Henry.”

Realizing this is as good an opportunity as any, Dani asks Flora if she had anything to say.

“Thanks for the wonderful birthday and Christmas presents,” Flora says. “We missed you lots.”

“I’m glad you enjoyed them. How do you like the au pair I brought you?”

“She’s perfect, perfectly splendid. Can we keep her for longer?” Another pause. “Uncle Henry?”

“I’m so sorry, Flora. I feel terrible about all the danger you and Miles faced.”

“That’s okay. Everyone is staying over and making sure that faceless lady doesn’t come in.”

“You know too? Flora, if I wasn’t so busy, I’d be right there to protect you myself. And now your au pair knows you better than I do…You shouldn’t be cut off from the rest of society. How would you and Miles like to come live with me in the city? This way we’ll see each other more. We could be a family. You remember London, right? How about it?”

“London would be splendid, but Miles prefers the country.”

“Think about it, dear. I’ll see you soon, I promise.”

“Okay. Love you, Uncle Henry!”

After Flora hangs up, Dani speaks. “She’s extraordinary, isn’t she?”

Henry lets out a deep sigh. “Sometimes I wonder if I’m a worthy…uncle for her. If I can be the man she thinks me to be.”

“You can. Starting with regular phone calls to your niece and nephew.”

“Naturally, Miss Clayton. Will you be all right tonight or should I arrange a place for you to stay?”

“Honestly, it’s already so late. As long as we take proper precautions, I think it should be fine. We’ve still got another sweep, and I have to check if Flora is back in bed.”

“Very well. Take care tonight, and call me first thing in the morning.”

“You’ll regret this. I’ll tell your sweet little Flora who her daddy is, expose you to the world after cutting an immunity deal with the crown prosecutor!”

“Back to your old tricks and some good old fashioned blackmail? Go right on ahead!”

Peter reaches Henry’s corporate office shortly before midnight, having been caught embezzling yet again.

“You couldn’t even wait for the promotion before picking my pocket?” Henry sneers. “Our professional relationship is terminated effective immediately, you hear me?”

“What about Bly Manor? I’m the only one who can…”

“Why must I hear it from outside channels that the gardener nearly drowned? Is that called controlling the situation? The deal is off.”

“And here I thought you were a man of your word.”

“This is the last conversation we’re ever going to have. My solicitor will contact you tomorrow to discuss severance. Now leave at once or I’ll call security.”

“The only reason you made it this far is because of me! And now your daughter and nephew are in danger of the demon madwoman…”

“Don’t you ever bring up the children!” Henry barks, emphasizing each word. “You don’t have that right. Get out!”

Peter takes the elevator down to the car park and stews in his car, banging his fists against the steering wheel. He can always confess the crimes he committed on behalf of the company, but Henry could retaliate by reporting the money funneled into the valet’s accounts. Mutually assured destruction would ensure no victors.

 _Bly. The children._ What could Peter possibly do to earn his boss’ good graces, prove his value as the miracle worker? The cellar…he had forgotten something.

The valet exits his car and ducks into the nearest phone booth. “Why good evening, Miss Clayton. You’re up at quite the late hour. Don’t hang up; you’ll want to hear this…”

“It’s felt like an eternity since I stayed at your humble abode,” Jamie says after they complete a final sweep.

“I recall the last time I hosted this odd lady, she was adamant there be no heart-to-hearts,” Dani replies.

“Say, if you’re letting me take the bed, where are you sleeping?”

“Keep this up, and you’ll be staying at the lake with Viola Lloyd.”

“All right, I’ll behave. Tonight we could, you know…cuddle, tell each other ghost stories, offer platonic companionship…”

“Now you’re having too much fun.” Dani ruffles Jamie’s hair and plants a kiss on her cheek.

“So what was the pressing matter that kept you in the kitchen? Was that Mr. Wingrave calling?”

“You saw that? It…it’s nothing you should worry about.”

“Something’s on your mind, Poppins. I can’t force you to disclose anything you’re not comfortable discussing, but remember what I said earlier today.”

“I know. It’s just…there has to be something. The Lady in the Lake, surely some sort of weakness. That night, when she finally released you, my blows at best slowed her down. But it wasn’t the reason she let you go.”

“Ay, we’ll figure it out, love. For now, let’s focus on getting through tonight, for the children’s sake. What is the Lady but a grand metaphor for life? Death is always creeping around the corner, yet we fail to recognize it until the threat is visible.”

Dani takes her girlfriend’s hands, lingers for a few seconds. “Why don’t you give me a moment to wash up, and I’ll join you soon?”

Jamie nods, unsure of what to make of her girlfriend’s behavior. Another case of anxiety, perhaps? The gardener changes into her pajamas, settles into bed, and props open a book.

“What’re you reading?” Dani asks minutes later.

“This old novel Charlotte once gifted me. About an old fisherman who…” Jamie lifts her head and catches an unexpected sight. Her girlfriend stands naked above the waist, fondling her shirt before tossing it aside.

“Dani,” Jamie breathes. Her body weakens as a blush flares across her cheeks. “You don’t…if you’re not ready…” Dani moves to the bed, kissing her girlfriend deeply.

Why should Dani have been anxious? This is Jamie, after all, the one she exposed her soul to, who consistently put others first. If there was anyone she could trust, it was her. Sensing her girlfriend’s apprehension, the gardener pauses, faces her with a look of concern.

_Promise me you won’t proceed with anything simply on my account. Promise me._

“I’m sorry if it's not much.”

Jamie knits her brow in confusion until she realizes what Dani meant. The gardener closes the gap, savoring the taste of her girlfriend’s skin, completely entranced. “You’re beautiful. Perfect.”

Since arriving at Bly, Jamie had been content several times, satisfied with living the rest of her days gardening, considering Mrs. Wingrave as her only friend, beginning a wonderful relationship with Dani even if it came without intimacy…but now. Now, none of it would be enough.

 _Take her_ , Jamie hears herself growl, the pleas growing more impassioned and desperate. Yet a part of her hesitates, as though her affection would only contaminate her girlfriend’s purity.

“I want this, but only if you want it too,” Dani whispers, granting her girlfriend permission to be bolder.

With these words, Jamie removes her clothes, and they take a moment to embrace, resting their foreheads together. Dani traces the length of her girlfriend’s body up to the shoulders, settling on a scaly patch of skin.

“What happened here?” Dani observes the wound.

“Twas a night of drunken revelry,” Jamie replies. “All right, it was the incident that got my family separated, an overflowing pot of boiling water and the worst pain you can imagine before passing out. Never went away, that one. Don't pay it any heed.”

Dani kisses the wound before Jamie gives into her pent-up hunger. It isn’t natural for the au pair to invite someone to her most intimate places nor is she prepared for the physical intensity. She finds her entire body throbbing, consumed by the unconditional love they share, the certainty of her choice mixed with the fear of losing someone she cares so deeply for.

Dani feels her girlfriend’s guardedness disintegrating in her arms, her impatience repeatedly met with tenderness as their combined warmth nourishes two tattered, lonely souls. In its place, they discover completeness while jealously grasping for pieces of heaven.

“What was your favorite memory, prior to Bly?”

Dani holds her girlfriend close, admiring the way their bodies fit with Jamie curled up like a love-starved animal. They had been caught completely off guard by how emotional they would become, giving fully and sharing every part of themselves.

“The Cliffs of Moher,” Jamie replies without missing a beat. “I’ll never forget the day, my first destination after freedom. I was sitting at the edge of the earth, wind whipping all around me, watching the tides ebb and flow in an eternal loop. The sea was so blue, like you’re slipping into a dream. The view leaves you so awestruck, you forget all the troubles that’ll follow you into the next day.

“The thrill of it all when you’re staring into the expanse and realize how small, how insignificant you are, a tiny droplet against the vastness of Mother Nature. You realize the entire world is just one vast ocean of knowledge, open to all who seek it. I can't even properly describe the experience because even if it could be put to words, it would never do justice to its splendor. Perhaps we’ll go together one day.”

“Okay.”

_Just okay?_

“Was I as wonderful as those cliffs tonight?” Dani asks, slightly apprehensive of the answer. Where does her inexperience stand in comparison to her girlfriend’s exes?

“Ay no, you weren’t,” Jamie replies, gently brushing a strand of Dani’s hair aside. “Much better. I’d give up a hundred cliffs if it meant sharing one more moment with you.”

“Flatterer.” Dani offers a weak smile, stroking her girlfriend’s back.

“When have I ever lied to you?”

“That’s fair. Listen, if there’s anything I wish to leave you with during our brief time together, it’s that you deserve to be loved. So much. I hope you know that.”

Jamie rises, looking the person she loves the most in the eye. “Yeah, I think I’m done searching. I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t confident we could make it.”

Dani gazes at the ceiling; their future seems so distant, improbable…“When I first arrived at Bly, the estate felt soulless, but I wanted to make the most of it. Now when I pass through its wondrous hallways and gardens, all I experience is love. And that’s because of all of you, taking this naïve American as part of your family.”

“We’re the lucky ones. I still don’t know what I’ve ever done to deserve you.”

Dani flips Jamie onto her back before pressing a long, lingering kiss, sensing her girlfriend melting beneath her. “Let’s get some rest.”

Minutes pass, and the gardener succumbs to a deep sleep. The au pair watches the clock, relishing every last second together until the fated hour arrives. Then she sees it – flashing lights outside her window. She rushes to get dressed before kneeling by her girlfriend’s side.

“I’m so, so sorry I have to do this.” Dani kisses Jamie tenderly on the forehead and grips onto her hand. “I love you.” After committing her beloved’s face to memory, she finally lets go.

For what is about to happen next, Dani would have to be braver than she ever thought possible. She cracks open the bedroom door, tiptoes to the foyer, and unbolts the front door.

“You’re still awake.”

Dani stares at the dapper gentleman standing before her, hands stowed in his pockets.

“I’m here, Mr. Quint. Let’s finish this.”


	12. The Longest Night Pt. 2

“Forgive me if this is outside my place, but do I sense bad blood between you and the gardener?”

A year earlier, Owen had been hired to cook for the Wingrave family. One afternoon, he stood in the kitchen churning a large bowl of batter as Hannah sat at the table sipping a cup of tea.

“Our relationship is running more smoothly at present,” Hannah replied. “At least now she nods when I say hello.”

“Precisely how long have you two known each other?”

“Oh, little over a year now.”

“I have a hard time imagining what it could be about you that upsets her. It took me two seconds of meeting you to deduce what a wonderful person you are. I wouldn’t require a whole year.”

“My guess is she’s being protective. ‘Who’s this strange woman who abandoned Mrs. Wingrave and returned only after her husband’s eyes wandered?’ There are those you may never win over and then there are those who just need time. It’s like waiting for fruit to ripen. You can’t push the date, only adjust the amount of care. What is that?”

“What is what?”

“That smile…I sense one of your infamous puns coming along.”

“If the gardener’s a fruit, does this make her the prickly pear?”

Not long afterward, the lives of everyone at Bly Manor would irrevocably change, the very moment Jamie caught a red fox inching towards the edge of the lake. _Now there’s a sight you don’t see every day._

As the gardener crept closer to the wild animal, she saw it sniffing at a large clump of wet clothes. Was the lake…pink in color? She dropped her shovel and began to sprint, sending the startled fox scampering. She realized the clothes contain a body lying face-down on the surface of the water; the only possible status was deceased.

Jamie’s eyes scanned across the lake and her heart skipped several beats… _no._ A second body, a woman’s. This time she would not hesitate; she threw off her hat, tore off her jacket, and dove into the frigid waters to fish the body out.

She does not dare look until Charlotte was safely on land, does not take a second to debate if her master was still alive as she performed chest compressions. Even after the authorities left, she remained in a state of shock, unable to erase the image of bruises around the corpse’s neck.

Jamie could not bring herself to attend the funeral. In her place, she left a large bouquet of chrysanthemums, the most spectacular floral arrangement Hannah had ever seen.

After Owen and Hannah returned to the manor, they found the gardener seated alone in the living room, staring at the family portrait.

“Miss Corrigan?” Hannah knocked at the doorway several minutes later.

“Back already?” Jamie asked. “Sorry for lounging around; I’ll get back to my duties.”

“Actually, I was hoping we could speak for a moment?”

“Help yourself, but you’ll have to excuse me if I don’t feel like chatting. Please refrain from asserting you know how I feel because you don't.”

“I wasn't planning to,” Hannah replied calmly and took a seat across from Jamie. “However, one thing we do share is the fact we both loved Charlotte Wingrave. She took me back when she didn't have to.”

“Yeah, well I had a criminal record yet she never judged me,” Jamie said. “I’m never getting over this. Losing the only person who believed in me wholeheartedly. To be honest, I’d rather have not met the woman at all, given the heartache that comes afterward.”

“Would you still be the same person you were before knowing someone like her? Without even meeting your past self, I can tell she’s changed you for the better. Can you honestly claim it wasn’t worth it, just for that?”

Jamie shook her head. “I’m seriously considering leaving Bly…place is filled with awful memories.”

“I understand you’re in pain and the wound is still raw. Take it day by day; the children, they look up to you. Three months, Miss Corrigan. It’s all I ask. If by the end of spring your mind is still set, I won’t pressure you out of it – won’t even mention it.”

Just then Owen walked in, placed a piping hot bowl of chicken barley soup on the table, and retreated just as silently.

“That’s for you,” Hannah said.

Jamie picked up the spoon, swirled it around the soup, and grinned. “Mr. Sharma’s a great chap. Handsome. Who doesn’t like a good cook?”

“Can’t you see I’m married?” Hannah laughed and pointed to her wedding ring.

“The prat violated his vows – live a little!” Jamie’s smile dissolved. “I suppose apologies are in order. To the both of you for tolerating this spoiled, surly brat.”

“You’re a mild case against what I’ve seen. Honest!”

“Still, I’ve wanted to say thank you, for a long time now. For being patient with me and not shoving religion down my throat.”

“Saint Francis was quoted saying ‘always preach the gospel, use words if necessary.’ Today, it’s you in need of comfort. Tomorrow, you’ll lend a hand to someone else.”

“Let me ask you a question. When you help others, hopeless cases like me, is it for their sakes or to fulfill God’s will? Because if you’re doing it for others, how could you not feel spurned by those who fail to return goodwill? It’s easier for religious folk like you, expecting a reward from divinity. But what happens to jaded individuals like me? Who have nothing besides ourselves to live for?”

“We’re all searching for that higher purpose; either you find it one day or it’ll find you. Should you ever need anything along the journey – a word of advice, an ally to cry with – I’m no Mrs. Wingrave, but I’ll do the best I can.”

Hannah reached into her pocket and produced a chain necklace with a silver cross pendant.

“The day I left Bly, Mrs. Wingrave presented me with a golden necklace, the one you see me wearing. But the day I came back, she gifted me this silver one. I always felt unworthy of wearing it myself. But I know she would have wanted you to have it, a part of herself to remember her by.”

“I can’t possibly do that,” Jamie protested. “If you don’t find yourself worthy, what does that make me? She intended it…”

“Miss Corrigan, I’m not asking you to accept this; it now belongs to you. I mean no offense, but I’ve known Mrs. Wingrave a good many more years than you. So pardon me for believing I understand what she’d have wanted a little better.” Hannah unclasped the chain and draped it around Jamie’s neck.

“You're one of the good ones, Mrs. Grose. You know that?”

“Of course! But I hope you also know just how incredible you are. Charlotte was very much blessed to have you as her loyal stray. And one more thing.”

Hannah held a black and white photograph of a younger Charlotte, taken shortly before her wedding day. Her colleague responded not with words, instead accepting the presents and a tight hug.

And so Jamie did stay, and while the loss weighed heavily on her chest, the trajectory of her life remained at Bly. By late winter of next year, when Dani and Flora visited Charlotte’s gravesite, they found the grass already trimmed and dotted with fresh chrysanthemums.

***

After Dani re-bolts the front door, she musters all of her courage to walk Peter down the hallway. Their conversation from earlier that night cycles through her head.

“I’ve discovered it, the process of vanquishing the demon of Bly,” Peter had said over the phone. “We’re to perform the exorcism tonight.”

“Does Mr. Wingrave know about this? I spoke to him over the phone earlier…”

“Then you’re aware every decision pertaining to the estate is made only with his blessing,” Peter replied, and Dani knew it was too late to check in. “Miss Clayton, what would you be willing to sacrifice to keep the residents of Bly Manor safe? If it meant keeping Miss Corrigan safe?” 

_He knew._ Her silence only confirmed his suspicions.

“I’m heading to my flat for a short nap, and then I’ll meet you at the manor before sunrise. Just you and me. I’ll drive out to the lawn and flash my headlights three times outside your window – that’ll be your cue to unbolt the door. If you involve the others, it’ll only endanger their lives.”

“You’ve lost it. I don’t owe you anything, Mr. Quint.”

“Did you know sleeping pills and alcohol make a deadly combination? Just find it rather odd Mr. Sharma purchased so many shortly before his mother passed. If the police were to come across the receipts…”

“Owen would never! Don’t insinuate…”

“One of Henry’s servants has been dead for a while now, can you guess who?”

Dani searches her memory, recalling the suspicious behavior surrounding Hannah – her lack of appetite, sleepless nights, refusal to leave the estate. “How did she…what did you do to her?!”

“Mrs. Grose took a tumble and I…I couldn’t bear to break the news to her. If she was to learn of her passing, well, that would be the last we ever see of her.”

“What is this? Their lives are not a game!”

“I’m saving the best for last. Our dear Miss Corrigan served a three-and-a-half year sentence for spearheading a home burglary – she ever tell you that? If Mr. Wingrave ever found a criminal lounging around the children, why, she’d be sacked on the spot! It would be a tragedy if employers came across this information for every job she applies for, wouldn’t it?”

Dani swallowed – at the very least, she knows Jamie’s criminal record was true.

“This material will be stuffed inside an envelope addressed to Mr. Wingrave, scheduled for pickup this afternoon lest I intercept it,” Peter continued. “But it needn’t come to that, not if you join me in stopping the Lady.”

“I’d do anything to keep everyone safe, so why the need for coercion? Am I supposed to protect them from the Lady or from you?”

Peter laughed. “I’ll see you soon.”

Now the hour has arrived, and Peter escorts Dani to the cellar, at times nudging against her back, forcing her along. He turns on the light and locks the door behind them.

“You’ve changed since I saw you late last year,” Peter says. “Much more self-assured, your back straighter, your mind more focused, your words bolder…it’s Miss Corrigan, if I’m not mistaken.”

“Whatever plot you’ve concocted, it’s between me and you.”

“You poor thing, if only I’d known you were so desperate for physical attention…” Peter places his thumb over Dani’s cheek, and she jolts backward.

“Why are you doing this? Indulging me like a living goddess…”

Peter chuckles. “You actually thought I fancied you? You’re a looker but not nearly a woman compared to Miss Jessel. After everything I offered, moving heaven and earth to please you, you remain by far the neediest bitch.

“But don’t get me wrong. Hard as it is to fathom, I really did love you. It’s a shame you never allowed me to show you a good time. So you must understand this pains me equally as much as this pains you.”

“What exactly do you want from me, the lowly au pair?”

“I promised you a way to banish the demon, and here it is,” Peter replies. “The only way to put the Lady out of her misery is to offer up a new vessel. A less vengeful, murderous tribute to take her place. Do you understand what I’m going for?”

“I’m presuming you aren’t volunteering yourself.”

“You must recognize why it has to be you. With Miss Jessel, she never meant the words she recited, unwilling to accept her destiny. The children, they couldn’t possibly comprehend the gravity of this task well enough to consent. Mrs. Grose transformed into a ghost herself, and Miss Corrigan would manifest the second coming of Viola Lloyd. Now, repeat after me: _It’s you, it’s me, it’s us._ ”

“You never told your girlfriend what those words meant, but you’re telling me because you need a sacrificial lamb to say them willingly. And now that you’ve revealed your deranged plan, the same one that got my predecessor killed, you’re not expecting me to survive into morning.”

“When Miss Jessel died, I wasn’t sure there’d be another opportunity. But then Mr. Wingrave bestows me with an equally gormless au pair.”

“Our problem was never with the Lady. If Mr. Wingrave had an issue with Bly, he could leave it, take Miles and Flora with him. I have no doubt he’d rather transfer us elsewhere than sacrifice another person.”

Peter scoffs. “Has the opulence of this place, its grandiosity worn off on you? Have you any idea what price this could fetch, how many times over your own life? No, if Bly’s going to be haunted, it’ll be by someone as innocuous as you.”

“No.” Unlike Peter, Dani had tasted the possibility of a life with someone she cares deeply for and who loves her just as dearly. “I’ve humored you by listening to this outlandish scheme, but I will not consent to becoming a monster.”

“So be it. I figured we’d do this the hard way.” Peter moves to the corner of cellar, opens a case, and takes out the pistol.

“Do it. I don’t even care if you take it slow, anything is better than becoming…that.”

“Oh you’re quite mistaken, Miss Clayton.” Peter turns around, loading the pistol as he advances. “This isn’t for you. You see, when you go missing, who do you think is coming to your rescue? Their deaths, some may perish quickly while others come slowly, begging for the end.

“I think I’ll start with the children before blowing the brains out of the cook. And then the grand finale: when the gardener comes running, I’ll tie her up, give you the front row seat while she suffers. Make her regret every sarcastic remark that’s ever dripped from her lips. Months later, after poor Uncle Henry buries the bodies and Bly is appraised for sale, then and only then will he discover the emaciated, frightened body of his au pair down in the cellar.”

Peter towers over her. “Never underestimate the lengths a man is willing to go once he reaches the end of his rope. But I am not without mercy, and we can avoid this unsavory conclusion should you accept. Swap places with the Lady and keep a low profile, at least for a dozen new moons, that should give us more than enough time to auction off the land.

“Now walk with me to the lake, and we’ll wait for her together. If you make so much as a whisper, I will not hesitate to have you and everyone you love murdered.”

They exit the cellar together with the muzzle of Peter’s gun firm against Dani’s back. A wave of fear overwhelms her psyche, smothering the fortitude she had displayed. The au pair has never been more scared yet her legs keep on moving, one step after another.

 _Stay calm, clear your mind._ Dani looks around for anything, a vase, a weapon perhaps to fight back. _Be brave, for her._ How would Jamie feel when her girlfriend goes missing, realizes she has morphed into the Lady in the Lake?

If Dani dies of a heart attack on the spot, Peter would have no reason to hold her friends as leverage until she submits. Assuming the tortured life of a specter for all eternity, consumed with malevolence…she couldn’t.

As they cross the foyer, Peter lets out a muffled growl. “These damn headaches…how do you conjure them?!”

“I haven’t done anything!”

“Liar! I only feel them when I’m with you…when I’m at Bly.” He crumbles to his knees, his right hand still latched onto the gun while his left hand grips his throbbing head.

Seizing her chance, Dani bounds up the stairs as fast as her legs could carry her, screaming as loudly as her lungs would allow. “JAMIE OWEN HANNAH!!! PETER QUINT IN THE FOYER!!!”

Seconds later, Peter begins the ascent, vaulting the steps two at a time. As soon as Dani reaches the second floor, there is not a second to think, to reconsider. She drapes one leg over the railing and forces her body over, into the murky void below.

Jamie is the first to be awakened by Dani screaming bloody murder. The gardener glances around the empty bedroom, and in less than a minute she puts on a shirt and pants before retrieving her rifle and bolting out the door.

The foyer is vacant as Jamie paces cautiously before turning her attention a sharp left, to Peter unlocking the front door with one hand and with the other…placing Dani in a stranglehold. Before she could plunge to her death, he had yanked her back onto the second floor.

“Let her go!” Jamie growls, aiming her rifle at the valet’s face. She inches forward, struggling to contain the rage burning inside her chest. “If you so much as scratch her, I’ll blast your face off, I promise ya! You’ll be roaming the manor as Half-faced Petey!”

“If you want her to live, you’ll let us go.” Peter calls the gardener’s bluff, knows at that distance she wouldn’t risk shooting as long as Dani is still alive. He swings the door open, presses his pistol against the au pair’s temple, and steps backward into the night.

Jamie tails him, presumes the valet will value his own life over whatever mission he has in mind. “Three seconds, Mr. Quint! Let her go, and we’ll permit you to leave in peace, not pieces.”

Peter smirks, slowly separates the pistol from his hostage’s head, and abruptly aims the weapon straight at the gardener.

“No!” Dani screams, fighting Peter’s grasp. “Not her! We had a deal!”

Sensing impending danger, Jamie dodges before he fires and hears a pitiful groan from behind. She turns around in horror, staring at the face of the victim…

Hannah instinctively reaches for her chest, her face contorted with shock. Not far behind, Owen catches and slowly lowers her to the ground, his own body quaking as he whimpers.

Jamie kneels before her colleague, searching for the wound but none appears. “Stay with me, Hannah. Please!”

“Go…go after Dani,” Hannah sputters as Owen transports her to the living room.

Accepting the blessing, Jamie marches towards her adversary, her rifle only a few yards away from Peter’s face but still not close enough to guarantee a clean shot.

“Put it down!” Peter shouts, grinding his pistol against Dani’s temple. “I will kill her! I’ll…” He lets out a wail, releasing his grip on the au pair and shoving her straight into the arms of the passing specter to save his own skin.

The Lady accepts the offering, forcing a firm grip over Dani’s throat. While Jamie is distracted, Peter aims his pistol just as another splitting headache shoots through his skull. The gardener fires her rifle but without the time to load, no bullets escape the barrel.

“Flora! Did you hear that? I’m going to check it out.”

“We mustn’t! Miss Clayton said under no circumstances are we to unlock our doors before sunrise.”

Then came the gunshot in the foyer.

“What if someone’s hurt?” Miles asks as his sister begins to cry. “Flora, go to mum and dad’s room and call Uncle Henry. Be brave for once!”

“Stay with me.”

“Not this time. I’m going to see what’s happening and help.” Miles scoops Biscuit into his arms and locks him in the closet.

The young boy locates his uncle’s phone number and copies it on a slip of paper. He ushers his sister to the master bedroom before sneaking his way around the manor. He peers over the stairway railing, at the Lady making her way inside the foyer unimpeded. Gripped around her right hand…the au pair’s neck.

Miles rushes downstairs, following the Lady’s steps yet careful to maintain his distance. “Let go of her!”

“I need you to stay awake,” Owen stammers, laying Hannah down on the living room sofa. “You’re going to make it.”

“I’m…not alive.”

“Don’t say that. You’re still here. You’re still…”

“I’m dead…I’ve been dead. Peter…he killed me. New Year’s Eve when I entered the study…struck me in the back of the head, shoved me out the window, allowing gravity to finish the job, landed headfirst…buried me in the woods…”

“Stop!” Owen shouts. “You’re still needed, for the children, Dani, Jamie, me!” He would have continued on, demanded she keep it together, but the truth hits him square in the chest. The signs had been there, all this time. “It’s not your time yet.”

“We don’t always get a say in that, do we love?” Hannah replies calmly.

“One more night,” Owen bargains as his eyes moisten, fogging up his glasses. “Grant your old friend a favor and stay with us into morning. At least until you say your goodbyes to the children.”

Hannah offers no promises but smiles, resting her cold fingers on Owen’s cheek. “You’re such a good man. The best I’ve ever known. But what’s the good in focusing on the dead? Protect the children and their au pair, will you? Save them.”

Within seconds, Jamie finds herself tackled to the ground, her rifle flying several feet away as two hands lunge for her throat. Peter is physically much larger, far stronger, but the gardener fights with all the ferocity she possesses in her body.

Peter had not anticipated such resistance, wrestling an adversary who appears possessed by a demon herself. Rage powers him through the throbbing migraine; nothing would stop him from executing the deed. He rolls Jamie onto her chest, pins her down with his knee, and places her in a chokehold.

“You fought valiantly, same as the housekeeper,” Peter sneers. “That same insistence she remain alive, that she had some reason, some person to live for, and would only depart this earth on her own terms. Unfortunately for you, reality had other plans.”

Peter squeezes the stubborn life beneath him until his victim’s body finally gives out. He stands triumphantly, dusts himself off, and steps inside the manor, scanning for footsteps that would lead him to the au pair.


	13. The Longest Night Pt. 3

The first time Dani stepped foot at Bly Manor, she was instantly enchanted – never before had she been invited to such an elaborate estate, let alone lived in one. She would occupy the previous governess’ bedroom, a charming little space with its own desk, bookshelf, and bathroom.

The day also marked the first time Dani saw Eddie since the night she wept over his open casket, begging for his forgiveness. When she glanced at the mirror above the dresser, her dead fiancé’s specter stared back at her, judging her for surviving.

_How…how did he cross continents to find me?_

“Are you all right?” Hannah dashed across the hallway. “I heard a scream.”

“No, it looked like…never mind. Can I take that mirror down?”

“It’s attached to the dresser, I’m afraid.”

“Oh…all right. Then could I…request some additional blankets? In case it gets cold.”

“Why of course, love. I’ll make sure to place some on your bed before evening.”

After dinner, Dani headed upstairs to prepare a bubble bath for Flora. When the au pair was done, she stood up, caught a glimpse of the bathroom mirror, and gasped, nearly toppling into the tub herself.

“What’s wrong, Miss Clayton?” Flora asked, bounding into the bathroom.

“Oh...oh, don’t mind me,” Dani replied, clutching her chest as she sat beside the tub. “I thought I saw someone else in the room.”

The au pair slowly inched upward and peered into the mirror, but Eddie’s specter had vanished.

“They’re friendly, most of them anyways,” Flora said. “Just in agony, that’s all. You would be too if you didn’t accomplish what you sought to do while living.”

“What? I don’t think we’re talking about the same thing.”

“If it scares you, you can try religion. Miss Jessel would study the bible with Mrs. Grose. I saw her reciting a prayer whenever she was spooked.”

Dani found herself increasingly restless on her first night at Bly, not surprising given the new environment. _Why was he here?_ Her guilt had followed her, every hour of every day for the past five months, but now she could visibly see her dead fiancé.

After the children were tucked into bed, Dani draped the dresser mirror with a blanket, taking great pains not to peek at her reflection. She settled into bed, pulling the covers up to her chin.

With each passing hour, the temperature seemed to drop by a few degrees. If the room grew any colder, she would surely freeze. Should she check on the children, make sure they’re warm? She whimpered, tears dotting her eyelids, as her breath condensed in mid-air.

Now heat was emanating from the adjoining bathroom, a most malicious inferno. The slit underneath the door flared bright red like a furnace, as though hell had transported itself before her, beckoning her inside.

 _This isn’t real_ …Dani remembered Flora’s advice. What did they teach at Vacation Bible School? She had been a model student, memorized the Lord’s Prayer by heart. How did it go again?

_Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy Name_

Dani struggled to breathe as her throat constricted – essentially gasping for life through a straw.

_Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil_

The au pair longed to scream, cry out for Hannah…a malevolent spirit resided in the bedroom, ready to claim another soul, and she was utterly powerless to defend herself.

_For thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory, forever and ever_

This was hell. She’s already dead; that’s the only explanation.

_Amen_

Just as suddenly as it came, the malevolence left her. The fiery glow from the bathroom dissipated, the frigid temperatures lifted, and she could breathe normally again.

 _You’ll be safe here. Don’t worry._ Dani heard a woman’s voice, one she doesn’t recognize.

For the rest of the night, she drifted into a peaceful sleep and remembered little of the event that transpired.

***

Jamie crouches in the dirt of her secret garden, beaming like a proud parent as she observes the tendrils spouting from her latest blossoms.

“There you are. I was looking for you.”

The gardener senses a familiar calming presence and twists her head back. “Mrs. Wingrave! How’d you find me?”

“How many times must I tell you to call me Charlotte?” her master replies with a smile.

“Old habits,” Jamie explains, standing up and dusting herself off.

“I was afraid you’d be here. It’s the happiest memories that tuck you in first.”

“Always regretted not sharing my special collection with you,” Jamie continues. “The chrysanthemums…”

“You’re teetering. If you don’t awaken soon, I’m afraid you won’t ever. I simply won’t allow it, you ending up in the same spot, not knowing when or if the nightmare will end.”

“What if I want to stay?” Jamie retorts. “It’s so peaceful…we could probably banish anyone we don’t like. Come along now. Take a look at these beauties.”

Charlotte walks over and softly caresses her gardener’s cheek. “You still have so much to live for. Joy yet to experience, lives to touch, plants to nourish, love to give. But you can’t accomplish any of it unless you survive.”

Jamie furrows her brow. “So I can either slip here, away from my worries, reunite with you…or face the darkness of reality.”

Charlotte nods. “Remember what I told you about embracing this life through all its pain? You have a reason to keep on going, someone who’s infused your life with new meaning.…”

“You don’t get to say that. You left me, Charlotte! Can’t blame you for it, but just when I was assembling myself back in order….”

“Do you honestly believe I’m here to judge your private life, considering the mess I’ve made of mine?”

Jamie turns away, directing her gaze at the flowers she planted. “I love her. Despite the fact I’m not the best person for her. She deserves far better. What would our future entail?”

“You’ll discover the answer to your question. I can’t do that part for you. Right now, in this tiny window, you must fight with all the strength you didn’t even know you possess. So what’s your choice?”

Jamie slowly recalls the events that led her to this dimension, the woman she left behind. She heads straight into Charlotte’s open arms. “I choose to go back. I need to save her.”

Charlotte smiles, nodding in approval, before Jamie takes a step back and races towards the manor.

“Jamie! Oh god no!”

Owen rushes to the gardener’s side, checking for breathing and a pulse. He attempts CPR, praying no further tragedies will strike Bly tonight, refusing to stop even as the minutes pass with little progress.

“Wake up, damn you!”

Jamie’s eyelids finally flitter and her chest rises, evading the very clutches of death. The first words out of her mouth: _Dani._

“Oh thank goodness!” Owen gasps. “Where is she?”

Jamie struggles to stand but forces herself back inside the manor. “The Lady’s got her!’

Dani crams her fingers underneath the Lady’s hand, attempting to pry herself from the ironclad grip. It hurts to think as she forces what little oxygen she can down her windpipe, her legs trailing uselessly across the floor. A woman’s voice whispers in her ear, the same reassuring presence from her first night at Bly.

_Keep calm or panic will overtake you. Don’t struggle; you’ll need to conserve your stamina. Take it second by second, then minute by minute._

She must maintain her focus, follow the one thread that offers a shot at survival. Otherwise, Jamie would fall apart – one more loss, the gardener had said, and she will lose it completely. Dani would have to be forced inside a coffin before she surrenders.

“Let her go!” Miles hurls a chair at the Lady’s head, stunning the specter for a few tense seconds before she continues down the hallway.

Miles starts flinging whatever he can find, careful to aim away from Dani. A lamp, a vase, books, a metal tray. Yet the Lady progresses onward, unfazed. He turns the light switch along a hallway, and the specter shifts 90 degrees, making a detour across an unlighted area.

Peter emerges, standing before the Lady’s path. A dead au pair would serve no use to him. “Milo, grab your flashlight!”

Meanwhile, Jamie tracks the footsteps up the stairs, praying her love is still alive. She hears Flora shrieking from inside the Wingrave’s bedroom and twists the locked doorknob.

“Flora, it’s Miss Corrigan. You can open the door.” Jamie enters the room and comforts the frightened little girl. “I’m here now, don’t you worry.”

“I heard Miles yelling…” Flora sobs. “What if she took him again?”

“I’m taking you down to Mr. Sharma. Listen to whatever he tells you, and I’ll find them,” Jamie vows, carrying Flora in her arms before dropping her off to Owen in the living room.

Miles finally comes across a flashlight underneath his bed and tosses it to Peter. The valet carefully positions himself at the top of the stairwell, waiting for the Lady to begin her descent. Then he flashes the light square in her face.

The Lady topples over the steps, releasing Dani from her grip. The au pair tumbles onto the midway platform, fluttering in and out of consciousness.

“And that’s how it’s done.” Peter descends the stairs, carefully stepping around the Lady, and checks on Dani, who labors to catch her breath. “Easy now, Miss Clayton. Don’t forget you still have a job to do. What’re the words again? Say it!”

Dani gasps for air, not fully comprehending her surroundings, as Peter seizes her by the collar. Suddenly, he feels a hand reaching for his right ankle. The Lady is temporarily disoriented, but she can still sense heartbeats, the heat emanating from human flesh.

“No!” Peter fumbles, reaching for his flashlight, turning quickly enough to shine it at the Lady’s face yet again. The specter recoils briefly before flailing her arms, knocking the flashlight out of the valet’s grip.

The Lady proceeds to snatch Dani by the throat yet again and yank her down the remaining steps as Peter follows cautiously behind. By the time Jamie and Owen arrive to inspect the commotion, the Lady has already dragged Dani halfway to the lake.

Miles explains the situation, and Owen dashes to his vehicle while Jamie darts into Dani’s room for her keys before heading out. Miles follows behind, shouting “use the light!” Jamie stares back, confused, but there isn’t a second to waste.

Owen is the first to reach the Lady, parking his car in front of her path, but the specter merely makes a detour. The cook inches the car forward to block her. Using only her left hand, the Lady lifts the vehicle up, turning it 90 degrees to its side.

 _Christ._ Jamie couldn’t run the Lady over without hurting Dani. In any case, the specter is too powerful and would likely still survive. _Use the light!_

As the Lady comes within fifty feet of the lake, Jamie speeds ahead before turning the truck around, focusing the headlights directly at the specter. As the Lady turns back, Jamie repositions the vehicle, forcing the lights back on the specter. The Lady raises both of her hands to cover her face, finally dumping her victim at the edge of the lake before retreating into its waters.

Jamie parks her truck and races to Dani’s side to administer CPR. _Please don’t let it be too late._ She doesn’t get very far.

“Let her be,” Peter says, aiming his pistol at the gardener. “Time is slipping away, and I’m in need of her assistance. Unless you’re willing to serve as our lucky volunteer.”

“It won’t do us any good leaving her like this,” Jamie replies calmly, hands above her head. “Please, let’s revive her first, talk later.”

“No, this needs to get done now. So decide who it’s going to be, because one of you…”

Jamie sees it coming, a mere half-second before the Lady raises her hand, seizing Peter’s neck from behind. The gardener catches his pained expression, the fear of death reflected in his eyes as he shoots her one last glare, realizing the weight of his sins has finally caught up to him.

The Lady gradually descends into the lake, her victim struggling with dimming strength. Jamie has no time to spare, placing her focus back into resurrecting her girlfriend.

A minute passes until Dani finally comes to. _Thank God._ Jamie holds onto the au pair, stroking her back, imploring her to keep calm. Is it finally over?

“Where…where is everyone? Are they okay?”

Jamie whips her head around, no Lady or Peter in sight.

 _Sharma._ “I need to check on Owen; his car flipped over. I’ll be right back for you, love. Stay strong.” With that, Jamie sprints off to the overturned vehicle.

Dani sits up, her mind light-headed and chest burning as though it had been lit aflame. Surely, of all the challenges she had ever faced, nothing would compare to tonight. As she attempts to stand, a forceful kick to her ankle sends her legs buckling. Then a firm grip around her collar, dragging her into the lake. Only it’s not the Lady, it’s…

“We could’ve made a great team, you and I!” Peter snarls. “Now look at me. Look at me!”

Dani sees his body, floating on the surface of the lake, head submerged in water. _Two Peters?_

“No, if I’m to spend an eternity on these cursed grounds, I’m certainly not doing this alone!”

Meanwhile, Jamie climbs on top of Owen’s vehicle and finds him still disoriented, slumped in his seatbelt. She opens the door vertically, wakes him up, and helps him crawl out. After they stand on solid ground, she examines his wounds, which are fortunately minor.

“Dani…how is she?” Owen asks.

“She’s at the edge of the lake,” Jamie explains, looking over to see Peter beating her girlfriend senseless. _Shite._

Peter seizes Dani by the hair and plunges her head underwater. She fights back, adrenaline pumping through her veins. Her foot swipes his leg, sending him splashing into the water. He quickly recovers, strikes her across the jaw before shoving her back into the lake. As she lifts her head above the surface, he kicks her in the ribs, then stomps on her back as she falls.

“Stop! Four is enough!”

Dani turns so her face rests above water. She catches the outline of a woman in a black dress, repelling Peter from attacking.

The Lady rises yet again to claim a living victim, her fingers groping for Dani’s foot. In a panic, the au pair reaches for the reeds, struggling to pull herself out and prolong her final seconds.

“Let it be, Miss Clayton. Accept your fate,” Peter crows.

Rebecca looks on apologetically. Too much time had elapsed since her death, leaving her incapable of clinging onto physical objects.

Dani manages to dodge the Lady’s grip long enough to crawl onto land, but in her weakened state she doesn’t get far before the specter seizes her left ankle. The au pair fights with all her might, refusing to be dragged back into the lake. The last of her stamina saps in a losing battle…

Headlights pierce through the early morning, basking the Lady in an eerie glow as Jamie repositions her truck. The Lady stumbles, falling harmlessly beside Dani. The specter’s paralyzed body lies halfway exposed on land while the other half remains submerged in the lake.

Peter observes the commotion, disappointed in the entire affair. “In case I didn’t make myself clear, I will not be left here alone, Miss Clayton. All of you deserve this fate far more than I. I’ll see to it!”

Rebecca extends her arms at the ready, but before Peter can advance, a trickle of sunlight peeks through the clouds, then another. Gradually, the air begins to warm. The Lady’s skin sizzles, melting in the light. As her body dissolves, Peter notices his fingers starting to fade.

 _Hannah!_ Owen reaches the manor and spots Hannah standing outside with Miles and Flora. His heart falls as he acknowledges the housekeeper had sensed her time has come.

“Hannah,” Owen cries. “Oh my sweet Hannah…”

“There’s no time for that, love,” Hannah smiles, drawing one hand over Owen’s jaw before closing the distance for their first and final kiss, a bittersweet embrace as the cook feels her spirit vanishing until she is no more.

“My wonderful boy and girl.” Charlotte beams, with Dominic by her side as they hug their children one last time. “Believe in yourselves, support one another, and flourish. Send Miss Corrigan my regards and Miss Clayton my thanks.”

“Where are you going?” Flora asks.

“Daddy and I are moving to a better place, one without sorrow.”

Over at the lake, Peter kicks up water as fewer and fewer droplets splatter. He lifts his lifeless body, watches it slip through his transparent hands, and lets out one last wail. The Lady further deteriorates from the waist up, her skin now blackened and singed.

“It was you…” Dani whispers as Rebecca stands before her and nods. “Thank you.”

Jamie rushes to Dani’s side, hoisting her body away from the Lady and the lake. The gardener sits in the grass, resting her girlfriend’s head on her lap as she holds her.

“I’m right here, Poppins,” Jamie says calmly. “So immensely proud of you, your strength and courage. Stay with me. Deep breaths, nice and slow. Live, for me, please. If you were to…Dani, I can’t…”

_As long as Jamie’s holding me, this isn’t so bad…_

Before Dani’s mind goes dark, she feels her right hand entwined with the tough and calloused fingers of someone who has known pain. As sunlight warms their bodies, a sense of peace washes over the au pair, and she knows all will be well in the end.


	14. Burying the Ghost

Only a few weeks into her new position, Jamie caught a glimpse of her master in the gardens making out with a man… _That’s odd, Dominic should be in Berlin right about now_ …

Jamie tilted her head, knitted her brow. That was Charlotte’s voice all right and…Henry Wingrave? The gardener had intended to move, allow the couple some privacy, but her master sensed her presence and they locked eyes.

The gardener skedaddled, hiding in the greenhouse as her heart pounded. What now? Their working relationship would never be the same. Minutes later, she spotted Henry lumbering across the lawn. And then, a knock at the entrance.

“May I speak with you for a moment?” Charlotte asked.

“Yes of course, Mrs. Wingrave,” Jamie stuttered. “So sorry. It’s none of my business; your personal life is your own…”

“You have nothing to apologize for. I shouldn’t have subjected you…”

“I’m in no position to judge. Your secret is safe with me.”

Charlotte nodded and offered a smile. “Thank you, Miss Corrigan.”

So began an unlikely friendship, master and servant. At first, Jamie took Charlotte’s kindness as an attempt to buy her silence, but never before had anyone treated her with such respect and understanding.

Charlotte would administer ice packs for Jamie’s rashes and listen intently to her reports on the gardens. Soon enough, the gardener warmed to her hospitality, counted her as one of the few she could confide in.

Two years later, Jamie heard a most pitiful sobbing from the greenhouse, sounding much like a woman mourning the death of a loved one.

There was no point in asking if she was alright. “Is there something I can do for you?”

Charlotte looked up from her seat and burst into a fresh wave of tears. This was not the time for ego preservation. Jamie instinctively moved to the adjacent chair and placed a hand on her master’s shoulder.

“Dom…he knows,” Charlotte cried.

“I’m so sorry.” It was still too early for Jamie to suggest she live freely with her lover now.

“He’s already filed the paperwork. He’s seeking custody of the children and assembling a team of the finest barristers in London as we speak.”

“As the breadwinner, he can argue he’s best equipped to provide for them.” Jamie shook her head. “That twit.”

“Not to mention I’m technically the one at fault. But maybe, maybe I can convince the court to let me keep Flora.”

Jamie cocked an eyebrow. Shouldn’t a mother love her children equally? Why Flora…

Charlotte answered the question without prompting. “She’s not…his. But if it gets out, this will hurt her, hurt the both of them…They’ll never speak to me or their uncle again.”

Jamie permitted her master to bawl into her chest. “These next few years will be the hardest. But you’re strong, Mrs. Wingrave, and I know you’ll stand on your own two feet again. The children will understand; give it time.”

“How can you be certain?”

“You once told me life could be brutal, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be beautiful. There’s still so much joy left to experience.”

It would be their last conversation before the new moon, the night Charlotte was presumably murdered by her husband, her body left to rot in the lake. As for Jamie, her master’s passing solidified her belief that everything she loved in this world will soon return to the earth it came from.

Henry proved to be a disinterested guardian who left the caregiving to others. Even when Flora came down with a bout of pneumonia and Owen ferried her to the hospital, the uncle waited for updates over the phone.

“Antibiotics.” Rebecca shook her head after hanging up the phone. “Can you believe it? That’s all he asked, if she was taking them.”

Jamie found her fists balled, anger stirring in her chest. _This was Charlotte’s daughter!_ “I’ll talk to him.”

The gardener picked up the phone in the master bedroom for some privacy and refused to hang up until the assistant transferred her.

“Flora’s condition is improving, is it not?” Henry asked.

“Did you hear her ragged voice, wheezing for dear life, wondering if that next breath might well be her last? No amount of money can substitute her beloved uncle’s presence.”

“Miss Corrigan, is it? I believe you were hired to tend to the gardens. Leave the rest to Miss Jessel.”

“Sir, it’s one thing if this was Miles, but we’re talking about Flora. Your blood!”

“I suggest you tread carefully…”

“Charlotte told me. And I could care less if you want to sack me over it. This doesn’t change the fact that she’s yours, and I think you know it too.”

“Do not insert yourself in matters you do not understand! I simply cannot return to Bly. Not when he’s there…”

“Who’s he?” Silence. “Mr. Wingrave, whatever guilt you feel over what happened, you need to get past it. Whoever it is you’re referring to, could he honestly prevent you from reaching your little girl?”

Three hours later, Rebecca wrapped Jamie in an elated hug. “I don’t know how you managed it, but you actually guilted him into coming!”

After tucking Flora to bed, Henry paid a visit to his gardener. “She’s doing well. Don’t understand the fuss when she’s perfectly healthy.”

“You’re family, Mr. Wingrave. She requires morale to lift her spirits, aid with the recovery…”

“Don’t you ever hang that over me, ever again,” Henry seethed, pausing in between each word, before stomping out the door.

***

With Biscuit’s assistance, Owen and Jamie discovered Hannah’s body buried deep in the woods. The gardener insisted on visually confirming it herself – one witness was enough – and sent her colleague away to contact the authorities. The situation proved difficult to explain, but with Henry’s influence the entire incident was blamed on Peter.

Dani spent a few days in the hospital, where she struggled with swallowing and drawing deep breaths. Jamie picks her up for the funeral but does not follow her inside the chapel.

Owen delivers a beautiful eulogy. Hannah will forever remain in their hearts, their grief standing as a testament of something wonderful passing. In the end, despite the pain of loss, he would not have surrendered this brief moment in time to have tasted love.

“When is Miss Corrigan coming?” Dani whispers to Flora, who simply points to Hannah’s favorite white lilies adorning the casket.

That night, Owen, Jamie, and Dani gather for a bonfire in the woods, downing bottles of wine while reflecting on Hannah’s life. The au pair could sense the gardener is off balance, even during the hospital visits, and the free-flowing alcohol doesn’t help matters.

“I know this hit you exceptionally hard, but I wish you were with us to celebrate her life,” Dani says.

“Hannah herself once said funerals are for the living,” Jamie replies matter-of-factly, chugging the contents of her bottle. “I have my own method of grieving.”

“You’re not the only one who’s experienced loss,” Dani snaps. “We needed you, I needed you. What flowers are you sending when they close my casket?”

“I meant no disrespect.” Jamie’s expression remains unfeeling. “Hannah was always looking after us, taking care of us, living on for us. Squandered the entirety of my first year with her, but never once did she take my behavior against me. The papers named PQ as her killer, as though their lives are forever linked. But I never want to bring up his existence again.”

Jamie sets her bottle down and stands up, gesturing at the ground. “That’s where we all end up one day; even the most powerful rulers are buried beneath the living. Happens to the best of us. The brave die young; the selfish live long lives. Every time I’ve finally found someone I care for, they return to the earth before their time.”

She turns to Owen. “How does it feel, Sharma, knowing you’ll spend many more days aching over Hannah than you ever spent laughing with her? That’s the price we pay for loving somebody. Acknowledging the hurt burrowed deep inside your chest can never be severed, a pain far more intense and lasting than the joy of all your treasured moments combined.”

“What are you doing?” Dani rises from her seat, flashing a look of disdain. “Let’s…talk about this in the morning, when you’re sober.”

“Every beginning has its end, Poppins,” Jamie shoots back. “You put yourself out there, and for what? A trail of wistful misery awaits. But you two take care; I’ll be inside drinking my supper.”

“Don’t take it personally,” Owen tells Dani as their colleague ambles away. “Give her time to process and grieve.”

“This doesn’t excuse the way she treated you,” Dani replies. “How long does she think she can act like this? It’s like because we’re still living, we don’t even matter.”

“You’re the only thing that matters to her. I wouldn’t be too concerned. She always comes around in the end.”

But what if Jamie decides to leave Bly and figures it isn’t worth it to love and lose again? Dani knows relationships often change or end when the environment shifts, and if the gardener no longer wants anyone around, if her previous proclamations are as meaningless as the promises she gave Miranda…

Several days after the bonfire, Flora asks Dani if she plans to return to America. “Will you finally call your mum?”

It is a fair question. Dani’s tenure is drawing to a close, and she technically had nowhere else to go. So later that afternoon, she retrieves the unused international calling card buried inside her suitcase. Dread floods her stomach over the inevitable conversation.

“Olivia Clayton speaking.” A pause. “Danielle?”

“Mom?” Dani’s voice cracks. “Mom…”

“Oh, baby. Are you hurt? Do you need money? Where are you?”

“I’m at Bly, in England. I’m safe. I don’t…don’t even know where to start. You’d probably never believe me. But I’ve grown more in the past six months than I did the past six years. And I…I met someone.”

Silence. “Well? Are you going to tell me her name or what?” Her mother had finally listened, finally acknowledged.

“Jamie. She’s wonderful, mom. Kindhearted, hilarious, brilliant…everything I could envision in a soulmate and more. She’s been by my side through thick and thin, accepted me as I am and loved me harder still.”

“This Jamie sounds like a marvelous lady. All a mother needs is for her child is happy. How are you? Still working the nanny position?”

“For another month or two. They’re packing up the manor. I’m not sure where I’ll go next.”

“Just come home, baby! Come home.”

“Okay, mom,” Dani sniffles. “I’ll see you soon.”

Henry searches the property listings for a sizeable townhouse in London, one near a distinguished school. He deliberates the fate of Bly Manor, which thanks to Peter, had finally been liberated from the Lady in the Lake.

One morning, Henry summons Jamie to the privacy of his study. “Should we sell the estate and you wish to stay, I can put in a good word to the next owner.”

“No need, boss,” Jamie replies. “Appreciate the gesture, but now’s as good a time as any to move along.”

“It really does feel like a new day at Bly, doesn’t it? We all possess this internal voice that needles at our sense of worth. These doubts used to manifest themselves physically before my eyes. A doppelganger would pay me a visit ever since Charlotte and I…well, he seems to have departed these grounds.”

“We’ve all had to bury our ghosts here at Bly.”

“That we have.” Henry straightens a stack of papers. “Peter sent me a few ridiculous documents, implying Mr. Sharma killed his mother and you served time.”

“That I have, but I assure you Owen would never hurt a soul, let alone his own mum.”

“Have you ever wondered why I didn’t sack you after you ran your mouth at me last summer?”

“I figured you adored my gardenias too much.”

Henry laughs. “Charlotte always spoke highly of you. You were close to her heart. In any case, I’m grateful you were there to provide comfort in her loneliness. And Flora…I will tell her, when she’s older, when the time is right. She may never forgive me…”

“It will take time, but she’ll always be yours.”

Henry takes out his business card and hands it to Jamie. “If there’s anything you need, do not hesitate to call. I owe you this much. Take care, Miss Corrigan.”

“Flora has a theory,” Miles says during breakfast a few days later.

“It’s a silly one really,” Flora adds.

“Oh? Let’s hear it,” Dani replies.

“If you think about it, we each had a spirit protector in this manor,” Flora says. “For me, it was the little boy; for Miles, it’s the soldier. Mr. Sharma has Mrs. Grose.”

“She was the guardian for all of us,” Owen says.

“Then who’s mine?” Dani asks.

“Miss Jessel, of course.”

“So that’s who she was.” Dani smiles. “Miss Jessel didn’t even know me, but she protected me the entire time. I still need to pay my respects at her grave.”

“Well, no ghost could possibly have picked me,” Jamie says.

“There was one,” Flora insists. “My mum. Before she left, she told us to give Miss Corrigan her thanks and Miss Clayton her regards. Or is it switched?”

Jamie abruptly clutches her chest before rushing outside, and Dani takes off after her. She finds the gardener crouched along the doorway, thrusting her spade into the dirt around the hedges.

“Don’t…” Jamie holds up her left hand while wiping her face with the back of her right. “I know you prefer company when you’re struggling, but let me deal with this one.”

“I’m not here to judge you. Please…what’s going on?”

“I’ll never be able to speak to her again,” Jamie cries, wiping her eyes before sitting on the grass, facing the wall. “Thought it was my imagination, but I really did enter the thin place that night. Charlotte saved my life twice, yet I spent the past year cursing her for leaving. She was still with me, and I didn’t know…I didn’t know…”

“Mrs. Wingrave protected you, because she understood how precious your life is,” Dani says, taking a seat and draping an arm around Jamie’s shoulders. “Now all we can rely on is each other, to honor her efforts.”

“I appreciate the concern, but when I ask for space, I mean it.”

Dani releases her arm and stands up. “I’ll respect your wishes, but please…let me know if you need anything.”

Jamie shakes her head. “Right now I choose to face my demons alone, and I don’t like dragging others into my misery.”

“Okay. Hope you feel better.”

Their window at Bly is ending just as the flowers come into bloom, magnificent in every hue of the rainbow. Still, Jamie remains cold and detached, bypassing any attempts to talk. Until one morning, Dani finds a potted chrysanthemum outside her door with a note.

_Meet me in the sculpture garden at sunset. It’s time we discuss the future._


	15. Farewell to Bly

Roughly a month after Dani started working at Bly, Hannah invited her colleagues to a game of bridge. After dinner, the housekeeper dusted off the old bridge board and deck. She partnered with the au pair and patiently imparted her new student with various strategies.

Soon, Dani could hold her own at the living room table, seizing multiple opportunities to score.

“Ay Hannah, you traitor,” Jamie complained. “What have you done forsaking your fellow Brits? You’ve created a monster!”

Hannah grinned. “Don’t forget; the lowest scorers have to confess the most embarrassing thing about them.”

Throughout the game, Jamie noticed moments when everyone laughed, and Dani would join in before suppressing her joy. As though she didn’t deserve to experience happiness. What transgression could the au pair have possibly committed to warrant such guilt? The gardener took a sip of cider and reminisced on an argument from her last relationship.

_Do you still love me?_

_How many times must I repeat it for you? Look, you’re the one who wanted to be girlfriends._

_That’s rich. When was the last time you actually treated me like one? If you were never serious about us, I’d rather you not refer to me as ‘the one.’ Have you ever lived a day in your life for someone other than yourself?_

_I never hid who I was! If I don’t fit neatly into your checklist…_

_I’m not asking you for perfection. I’m asking you to show me even the slightest effort! If not, then best of luck finding a hapless woman willing to put up with your arrogant, selfish behavior. I pity her already!_

“Jamie?” Hannah interrupted. “Are you bidding or passing?”

“Oh! Um, pass.” Jamie caught Dani’s smile and could sense her confidence in a winning hand.

The game ended with Dani and Hannah victorious, and Owen volunteered his confession first.

“I’m deathly afraid of butterflies, ever since I got scraped up in a bike accident. Nasty critter flew straight into my face. Anything else is fine – centipedes, wasps…”

“It’s true,” Jamie confirmed. “We conversed in the garden once, and he made a long loop around a pair of red admirals.”

“Can we transition to Jamie already?” Owen asked.

“All right, laugh away. Every night, I sleep with Kirk.”

Hannah cocked an eyebrow. “Please elaborate. Or maybe don’t.”

“That came out wrong. Kirk is my unconventional sleeping aid and the most adorable sea turtle plush in all the land. Many a night I’ve spent cradling him in my arms, crying myself to sleep as I am wont to do. He’s seen it all, the highs and the lows, without so much as a peep of judgment.” At this, Hannah and Owen snickered. “Oi, you have your ways of dealing with this harsh reality and I have mine.”

“What’s next? Rubber duckies in your bubble bath?” Owen cracked.

“You leave Cedric out of this!” Jamie demanded.

“Well that’s cute,” Dani said. “You kept a stuffed animal since childhood and never abandoned him.”

“Ay, I don’t have anything left from my youth. An old lover gifted him to me after a trip to the aquarium.”

“You had lovers?”

“That’s your takeaway from my epic tale of humiliation?”

After a few more minutes of chitchat, Owen and Jamie put on their coats and stepped outside for the drive home while Dani headed upstairs to tuck the children into bed.

“Always nice to hear laughter at Bly again even if it was at our expense,” Owen said. “I was starting to forget what that sounded like.”

“The new au pair is something all right,” Jamie replied as she opened the door to her truck.

“Jamie…in case I never mentioned it, thank you.”

“What for?”

“Remember when my mother passed several weeks ago? Very next day you were in the kitchen, prepping everything up. You helped out the entire week while I struggled getting back on my feet. It meant a lot to see you there at the wake.”

“Of course. You’d do the same.”

“You and Hannah were truly godsends. If you ever need a favor, you know who to ask.”

Jamie hesitated a second before flashing a devious smile. “Matter of fact, I do. What are your thoughts on American girls?”

“That they’re human like everyone else. What’s this now? Have you finally ceased playing cupid with me and Hannah?”

“Hannah knows what she’s doing – I trust she won’t make the same mistake twice. But Dani’s still young, and she deserves a real gentleman who will actually treat her like a queen.”

“I don’t know…”

“For my sake, Sharma. I can’t bear the thought of her ending up like Rebecca, lovestruck over some bloke who won’t treat her right, shatter her pure and delicate heart. With you, she’d be in good hands, and I can relax. Besides, shouldn’t you date a real keeper like our Dani here? She’s awful at tea but a prodigy at bridge. I could arrange a proper introduction.”

“Pip-pip, Jamie.”

“Oh come on! Think about it!”

Upstairs in Flora’s bedroom, Dani stood by the open window hanging onto every word.

“What’s happening outside, Miss Clayton?” Flora asked from her bathroom.

Dani turned around. “Oh, your window was open. I didn’t want your room getting chilly.” She reached for the handle and slowly shut the window as her colleagues departed from the estate.

***

“Biscuit, stop it! I already fed you. Go harass Jamie!”

Owen sits in the living room, working on a newspaper puzzle as Biscuit nips at his pant leg.

Jamie pokes her head through the doorway. “Oi Sharma, mind if I join you?”

“Sure, why not?” He gestures to the chair across from him.

“I know I’ve been frosty the past month,” Jamie says, taking a seat as Biscuit bounds over to her. “There’s still so much for me to apologize for, but I’d like to start with the bonfire. My behavior was uncalled for.”

“You were hurt,” Owen replies.

“So were you, but you weren’t an arse about it.” Jamie sighs, petting the puppy’s back. “Have you seen or felt her since?”

Owen shakes his head. “Haven’t heard those voices either. But even if it was possible, I don’t think Hannah would make her presence known. If I keep one foot rooted in the past, I wouldn’t be able to move on.”

“Isn’t it one of life’s ironies, that sometimes the best way to love someone is to withhold your affection? If it all eventually falls apart, wouldn’t we be better off building fewer memories?”

“Are you talking about yourself and Dani? You know, I can’t keep stepping in to save your relationship like some marriage counselor. Time is finite. And I know if Hannah was here, she’d tell you to hold onto this one. When she left us, there wasn’t enough time for me to say ‘I love you.’ And now I lack the ability to even argue or be upset with her.’

“You didn’t need to say it because she already knew.”

“The difference between us is you still have today. So don’t ever take your friend for granted; no amount of remorse or regret will ever bring her back.”

“Why would I, in my right mind, ever choose to give up someone like Dani?” Jamie scoffs. “If I was to leave her, it’ll hurt the hardest now, but she’ll move on and be better for it. Besides, a woman like her can easily find a kind and loving partner.”

“What makes you think the next person will treat her any better?”

“She almost died, for chrissakes!” Jamie cries. “Nearly became the newest inductee of Bly’s Ghost Club. And if she had, that’s on me. I failed to protect her.”

“If that’s how you interpret the situation, I won’t persuade you otherwise. Whatever you decide to do, it’s your kismat.”

Jamie reaches into her pocket and reveals a gold necklace with a cross pendant. “Difficult as it was that day, I retrieved this before the authorities arrived. Didn’t want it shipped off to her worthless husband. I washed it, waited for the right time to pass it to the one it belongs with. I know trinkets can’t possibly replace her, but this is what she would’ve wanted.”

Owen extends his hands and accepts the gift. “Thank you.” Jamie walks beside her friend and rubs his back as he breaks down.

Dani dons a jacket at the appointed hour and trudges across the lawn, uncertain as to what exactly Jamie had planned for her. The skies above the manor flare in a majestic canvas of red and yellow – hopefully an auspicious sign.

Jamie surfaces along the statues, hands stuffed inside her pockets. “You came, Poppins.”

Dani nods. “You know, in a few weeks’ time I won’t even be caring for the little ones, so you can stop calling me that.”

“What do you reckon I call you then?”

“Not sure. Maybe Dani?”

“Right.” Jamie breaks into a smile before it quickly fades. “Listen. An old colleague said he’d snag me an interview for groundskeeper at a small college in London. It’s no Buckingham Palace but it’s decent work, and who knows what it may lead to. Nevertheless, it’s a ticket out of here.”

“Because Hannah, right? And Mrs. Wingrave.”

Jamie nods. “It’s not the same. Never will be.”

“You should do it, if it’s what you want. That’s great to hear given it’s right up your alley. But perhaps you’d like some company to join you in the boredom?”

“You do kind of defeat the purpose. We’ll write letters, yeah?”

Dani is unable to conceal the hurt in her face, the icy chasm erected between them. After all they had been through – the laughter, tears, love and affection – this is how Jamie plans on bidding farewell?

The au pair slowly shakes her head. “Letters? What’s going on? I know it’s been difficult for all of us. Owen’s taking this the hardest, but he’s made more time for me than anyone. I can’t turn to the children for solace, not when they’re the ones depending on me. The world could fall apart tomorrow, but I thought…at least I had you, the one person I could always turn to.”

“You can’t always depend on others. You’ll need to be a lot tougher than that when you’re facing the reality outside. The first major lesson I ever learned.”

“We agreed to take on the world together, you and I.”

“Together?” Jamie scoffs. “You were incredibly brave and incredibly foolish that night. Almost perished right in front of me, right beside that cursed little lake after cutting a deal with PQ! When you told him yes, you betrayed everything we had. You should’ve brought it up to me, trusted me to take care of it!”

“Of course, because that’s what you would’ve done in my shoes, right? You couldn’t have discussed your concerns with me? Is that how we resolve problems, just keep ignoring them until we can’t anymore? It breaks me to learn you felt I let you down. I didn’t say anything that night to protect you! Because it was enough of a burden for one person to handle, let alone two.”

“And you never stopped for one second to consider how it would’ve destroyed me? If you died…”

“Then you’d lose faith in humanity and skip my funeral too, is that it?” Dani’s body quivers. “Now you want to be pen pals? Listen to yourself. Everything you told me, how love is a commitment you were finally able to make, it was all a lie? You’ve changed…In the end, you’re no different than how I was to Eddie.”

“Or perhaps this is who I always was. You made unrealistic assumptions about what I could give you, saw something in me that I’m simply not! These feelings can be intense while we’re bombarded with exciting adventures, but when we enter the real world…”

“This again! Don’t lecture me on how I feel. After everything Peter took from us, I didn’t think we’d let him take this too.”

“The situation’s changed. Just like it did with Miranda. My greatest regret was letting it play out for years when I knew we wouldn’t make it, making our inevitable separation even more torturous, but she’s in a better place now.”

“You don’t know that! Jamie, I stayed alive for you, to spare you from further tragedy. I’ve experienced firsthand how no one should ever spend their life wallowing in guilt.”

“Then at least I’ve accomplished one meaningful deed in this otherwise inconsequential life.” Jamie sighs, acknowledging the pain she’s inflicting. “The night we made love, you expected it to be our last moment together, didn’t you?”

Dani nods. “It was a possibility.”

“Of course, you make the most out of what limited time we have. I know you meant it as a gift, but to me, if I was to lose you, those memories would only cause me more pain, for far longer than that one night. It wouldn’t have been worth it.

“We’re different people. You’re focused on the present; I’m fixated on the future. Every seed I plant I’m envisioning it maturing through the seasons. If we had stayed years into Bly, we could’ve remained in that refuge, see this through, but out there, it’s not going to be easy.

“Besides, what’re you planning to do, bring me to the states? You think this ex-convict gardener could just barge in on a work visa or gain citizenship through a marriage unrecognized by law? You honestly believe you’ll be content with long distance? If this was never going to last, I’d rather we not delude ourselves and create any new memories to look back on.”

“How long do your flowers live?”

Jamie furrows her brow. “Well that…depends. The moonflower may only bloom for one night whereas chrysanthemums could last through the month with proper care.”

“Then why do you plant them when their life spans are so finite? When the odds are high they won't survive long enough to blossom? The coming winter may be harsh, but you still nourish them, knowing full well your blooms could wither away.”

Dani musters a bittersweet smile and walks forward. “We’ve nurtured this love in the hopes of seeing it flourish. And yes, I don’t know if we’ll make it. Do you? But how would we find out unless we give it everything we have? There will be challenges, but we've made it this far.”

“Problem is I don’t see the end.” Jamie tries to keep it together, burying her emotions. “Flowers wilt, you plant new ones. People come and go, it’s a fact of life, but you’re different. I never deserved you, and we can’t get married the way you wanted. Society will never accept us. You should be spending the rest of your life with the best possible person…”

“You’re my soulmate. Why can’t you accept that someone can choose you?” Dani takes Jamie’s hands into hers, her expression reflecting her desperation, refusing to comprehend a goodbye. “Look me in the eye and tell me nothing was ever there.”

Jamie shakes her head somberly. “My feelings, they’re irrelevant. I’m sorry, but with Hannah gone and leaving Bly, things are different now. I’ve already subjected you enough to my moods. My one regret was saying yes. The very last thing I wanted was to play games, and I still ended up leading you on.”

“Please, consider what you’re saying! I love you so, so much. We’ll make it work. Whatever it takes…”

“Remember last Christmas, when you said if someone truly loved me and it came down to it, they would let me be free? I’m telling you this is that moment, and I’m asking you to let me go.”

Jamie releases herself from Dani’s grip, turns around, and marches away before her tears could materialize. As though she had just forsaken a piece of her soul.


	16. The Moonflower

“I sense something irritating you.”

“In case you haven’t noticed, this is how I’ve naturally been. If you need me to entertain you with more of my secrets, go ahead and access the case file.”

Jamie was not yet twenty when she landed behind bars. A year into her sentence, she sat behind a glass partition, speaking with her prison therapist Tamara.

“Many of our negative emotions stem from trauma over a past occurrence or anxiety about our future,” Tamara replied calmly. “These emotions provide a compass for understanding why we act the way we do.”

Jamie smirked, tilted her head back, and threw an arm around the back of her chair. “What do you know about my emotions? Your college-educated self wouldn’t survive one week here. You've got a family and friends who love you. You'll be missed if you're gone. I’ll take responsibility for what I’ve done, but I doubt you’d land seven years for driving a car!”

“You can leave the confines of prison and not end up any happier.’

“Why should it matter, what my emotional state is? It doesn't get any better for me, no reason to hope for some brighter future.”

“I disagree. None of us know what our future holds, where the tides of time will take us. One moment you’re at rock bottom, the next you’re sky high.”

“Tides of time?” Jamie scoffed.

“What happened, Miss Corrigan?”

Jamie sighed. “Been rotting here little over a year now. Picked up a hobby, like you suggested, working a tiny patch of dirt outside. Celia’s folks sent her moonflower seeds. She told me there’s nothing quite like witnessing one in bloom, the catch being it only happens at night. We guarded our seedlings like proper, vigilant parents. A part of me wanted to believe, even if it’s metaphorical, that something beautiful could rise through the darkness.

“Celia’s moonflowers all died the previous years she’d planted them; it’s nearly inconceivable for them to take root so far up north and in prison no less. But this year a few actually spouted through the godforsaken dirt. They’re a real beauty even shriveled up in sunlight. I begged the guards to let me watch them bloom, just for one night, just for one minute. Was told I’d be granted the privilege if I kept my record spotless. Not a single infraction, highest performance in all my duties, even earned a commendation for the month.

“But did they uphold their side of the bargain? No ma’am, wouldn’t even take a picture for me. And this morning…the last of the moonflowers wilted. Who knows if they’ll ever spout again. This was how it was always going to end, and society wonders why people like me act out.”

Tamara listened intently. “So you wonder what’s the point. Follow the rules, believe people will keep their word, and you end up in the same spot. That surely the universe has conspired against you.”

“Haven’t seen it proven otherwise. Almost everyone outside is loved like it’s their birthright.”

“Can I offer a piece of advice I wished I’d known sooner?” Tamara leaned forward. “Live.”

“Great. Glad your fancy degree came into use today. Can we call this session done and your community service hours completed?”

“I came from an abusive household,” Tamara continued. “My mother and stepfather lorded me over every little imperfection, the lesser a person I was the higher a person they felt. We’ve all been wronged, one way or another, but it’s important to remember your self-worth is not tied to the way you’re treated.

“Even in prison, you can seek enjoyment in what little you have. So you keep on fighting, better yourself, and come as close as you can to living life to its fullest potential. That’s the greatest revenge against anyone who’s ever bet against you.

“As for the future, none of us really know what will happen. But you can increase the odds of success and just be happy. A decade down the line, who knows how you’ll turn out?

“Now the question remains: what are you going to do? You can strike back, believing it’s all the same, or continue your current path to righting your life.”

***

Then it was goodbye. There were hugs, tears, one last plate of butter chicken curry. And when it is finally time to leave, Dani asks to deliver one last message to her colleagues.

“When I look back at the stately halls of Bly, I will always be filled with the same sense of wonder as I did on my first day. But foremost I will remember the people, all of you, who made my experience so special. Every struggle I’ve faced, every obstacle I’ve overcome, I don’t regret any of the hardships, because it made me who I am today. I will recall my time here with love, grateful for the blessings and fond memories as well as the courage it instilled within me.”

And with that, they head their separate ways: Dani to the airport, Owen to Southampton where he had secured a chef’s position, and Jamie to London, where she would become groundskeeper. The gardener hitches a ride with the Wingraves, who offer to let her stay until her employer empties a new flat on campus.

“It’s too bad Miss Clayton couldn’t come with us,” Flora says deflated, holding Biscuit in her arms as Henry drives them out of the country and towards the city.

“I’ve already placed an advertisement for a new governess,” Henry says. “I promise to hire the applicant who resembles her the most.”

“If the children still require a caretaker, shouldn’t you at least offer Miss Clayton the chance to stay on?” Jamie asks.

“I did,” Henry replies. “Initially she said she’d mull it over, wanted to discuss it with you and Mr. Sharma. But she eventually decided to go home to her mother, mentioned something about a fresh start. Besides, the position is rather beneath her, I think. I knew it the moment I hired her she would bolt at the first opportunity.”

If Dani preferred not to stay, if this wasn’t the career path she envisioned, Jamie could accept it. But what if her coldness had dissuaded the au pair from making the choice she wanted?

That night, Jamie settles into the spare bedroom at the Wingrave’s townhouse and asks to borrow writing materials. She taps the back of the pen against the desk, staring at the blank sheet of paper.

What is she doing? Jamie didn’t even ask for Dani’s address – only knew it was somewhere out in Iowa – but she begins scrawling on the paper nevertheless. The gardener wonders how her old friend is faring over in the states, if she was happy, started teaching again, or found someone who would appreciate her, quirks and all.

Over the next several nights, Jamie would go through a half dozen drafts, piecing together her scattered thoughts.

_Poppins/Dani,_

_As you know, sentimentality has never been my strong suit, yet already I’m thinking back to our time at Bly. How I could be having a shite day and you’d pop by to say hello with that hopeful American smile. The very fact you hung in there despite such crushing guilt led me to wonder: if she can make it and still have more to give, what’s my excuse?_

_With all due respect to Tennyson, I stand firmly in the belief that it is not always better to have loved and lost, not when the attachment was rooted so deeply and the absence so permanent. My experiences pushed me to avoid further loss or subject it to even my worst adversaries._ _So I ran in the opposite direction, far as I could, and withdrew to the other extreme, burying myself back into the life I always knew._

_I can see more clearly now why Hannah believed we require at least one season to process before making life-altering decisions._ _The world moves on regardless of if you’re ready to take it on, the sun doesn’t stop rising when you retreat from its rays._

_When Mr. Wingrave announced his intentions to move the children to the city, the first words out of my mouth should have been where are you going and how can I support you? While my first thought was to spare us the pain of drawn-out goodbye, I failed to consider what you needed most from me._

_To your question, what’s the point in planting when the payoff we reap will eventually perish? I believe I’ve finally reached a satisfactory answer: for at least one fleeting moment in their transitory lives, these flowers bring beauty, solace, comfort, and joy._

_For a brief period of time, you moved someone like me to actually feel, to allow the world in and embrace it. Despite my never-ending faults, you never strayed from my side, questioned if what we had was real, or hesitated to open your heart._

_No one had ever lavished me with love this fiercely, and it took this twat a good deal of time to fully appreciate that for some, the opportunity to be together, however short, is worth the pain of separation, a hundred times over. Of the million different directions I could've imagined my life unfolding, the love we shared was never so much as a remote possibility, yet it will remain by far the most cherished experience of my life._

_You Americans romanticize the thought of lost causes. It’s the stubbornness in the face of reality that granted your independence. Even if we weren’t able to stay together in the end, who would’ve guessed I’d fall so deeply in love with this naïve, brave American?_

_While this may invite further pain, as we remain an ocean apart, it is not all about my thoughts and feelings. If you are still willing, I hope to maintain a correspondence. From there, who knows where the tides of time will lead us to next?_

_Jamie Corrigan_

For days the letter sat untouched on the desk. By the time Jamie settles into her new home, she could no longer remember where it was placed. Now absorbed in her new job, she resigns to the belief it’s best to keep the past buried.

As spring transitions into summer, Henry hosts a belated housewarming party. It would have been the perfect weather to retire to the countryside, but for now their experiences at Bly were complete.

“Jamie! We meet again!” Owen says, wrapping the gardener in a bear hug.

“Oh please, we had dinner just last week.” Jamie rolls her eyes.

“Is that her, Uncle Henry?” Flora asks as a cab pulls onto the curb. As soon as the passenger door swings open, Biscuit starts yelping.

“Why yes, your au pair. You both will adore her, guaranteed.”

Jamie experiences a pang of guilt down to her stomach, reminded of the breakup and the unmailed letter. _Well, better offer my hellos and a good word about the children._ Her heart skips a beat at the sight of familiar blonde curls, the hopeful smile…

“Poppins…” Jamie finds her feet moving, but Miles and Flora reach her first.

“It’s the Danisaur!” Flora shouts, hopping onto the au pair’s back and nearly knocking her over.

Dani crouches down, reaches into her backpack, and offers gifts to the children.

“It’s a godsend having her return.” Henry walks up to Jamie. “She gave me a hard time negotiating the salary, but I remain in her debt for keeping the children safe. And the whole re-bonding with a new au pair after what they’ve been through; it’s easier just to make her an offer she can’t refuse.”

Jamie feels a tear gliding down her cheek, her heart melting as Dani stands before them. Before the gardener could step forward, Flora had already taken the au pair by the hand, escorting her to the side gate while Henry and Owen grab her bags.

“Right this way,” Miles says knowingly, motioning for Jamie to follow.

Flora had opened the gate and was already showcasing her seedlings.

“An exquisite variety you got there,” Dani says. “You must’ve had a great teacher.”

“The best,” Flora replies. “Oh, there she is! I’ve got to see if Uncle Henry needs help…meet me later? C’mon Miles!”

Their objective complete, Miles and Flora dart back into the townhouse, leaving Jamie standing sheepishly by the gate.

Finally, Dani speaks. “You going to stand there all afternoon? It’s just me, silly. No need to act like a stranger.”

Jamie shakes her head, wiping a tear, and rushes to give her old friend the tightest hug she could without snapping any bones. She tries not to lose it, absorbing the way Dani held her back: the warmth, softness, the pull.

“You came back.”

“Well, it really was a no-brainer after reading how much you missed me,” Dani says, running her fingers through Jamie’s hair. “I respect the reasons why you felt it necessary to separate, but I’m hoping we can rebuild some sort of relationship, even if it’s not romantic.”

 _Flora._ The little gremlin must have mailed the letter off. Jamie cranes her neck towards the townhouse window as Miles and Flora scatter from their positions.

Jamie turns her head back, noticing she has still not let go of Dani nor would she ever want to. “Does this mean I can still call you Poppins?”

“I like how this is your primary concern. But yes, fire away.”

_Will she ever forgive me?_

In a sense, Jamie doesn’t want to be forgiven, at least not this quickly. It wouldn’t have felt deserved. Yet as afternoon slips into nightfall, they easily settle into their old rhythm, conversing and laughing as though they had never parted.

“It was tough at first, whenever I came across the scent of flowers or a sad love song on the radio…Are you smiling at my misery?” Dani gives her friend a playful shove.

“No, I was…that’s not it,” Jamie replies as they gather for the dinner Owen prepared. “How are things back at home with your mum?”

“A world of difference. I mean, no family is perfect, but at least she’s trying. She stopped tossing boys in my direction, at least. How’s your new job?”

“My predecessor’s an overambitious one, planting things left and right and testing what sticks. During our tour, he pointed to the vines growing on the gate outside my flat and proudly proclaimed he’d planted moonflowers. Moonflowers! At that point they were already dying, and much as I’ve tried, I doubt any of their petals will ever bask in moonlight.”

“If anyone can do it, it’s you.” Dani smiles, resting a hand on Jamie’s shoulder before abruptly moving it, having forgotten they are no longer a couple.

“Let’s offer a toast,” Owen says after pouring the wine. “To Hannah Grose.”

“Lord and Lady Wingrave.” Jamie raises her glass.

“Rebecca Jessel,” Dani says before the adults take a sip.

After dinner, Dani flops onto the living room sofa watching television, and Jamie asks to join her. They begin to talk, another long conversation that unfolds as though time is a nonfactor, and the gardener feels at peace resting beside her friend. Hours pass, and the next thing they know, Owen is waking them up.

“I’d hate to interrupt while you two are looking cozy, but I’m heading back to my flat.”

“Oh.” Jamie awakens, finding her head nestled on Dani’s shoulder. The au pair had extended her left arm around the gardener’s waist, their fingers intertwined. “What time is it? I should get going myself.”

“We’ll meet again?” Dani asks as her friend puts on her coat.

“I’ll ink you onto my calendar. Take care, Poppins.” Jamie offers a wink and lingers by the entrance before disappearing into the night. There remains so much left unsaid, but this is for the best, the gardener convinces herself.

An hour later, the children are tucked into bed while Dani lies awake, adjusting to jet lag. _That was it? Wasn’t long distance cited as a reason for the breakup? And now…still nothing? Was I not good enough? Would I ever be?_

A familiar chord breaks the silence, soothing her soul. Could it be her? Who else would know that song, the one Jamie played for her in the woods last winter? Dani slides the bedroom window open and pokes her head outside to catch the gardener, her gardener strumming a guitar. Within minutes they are walking along the sidewalk, hand in hand.

“Headed back, couldn’t stop thinking about you,” Jamie says. “There’s something I want to show you. It’s a bit of a walk, but if you’ve got the stamina.”

Half an hour later, Jamie guides Dani to the gate leading up to her flat. “Remember when I told you I’d always wanted to witness a moonflower in bloom? Never thought I’d see the day…” She whips out a flashlight and focuses it on a solitary flower, its celestial petals unfurling in the serene moonlight.

Dani stands breathless. “It’s hauntingly beautiful. This is the only one that survived?”

Jamie nods. “Saw it when I came back and figured this special moment wasn’t meant to be experienced alone.”

“Thank you for sharing this with me.”

Jamie sets the guitar by the front steps before trudging back to the gate. “Lately, I’ve been thinking about how good friends are those who stick around, even if you never reach any level of success. They will love and support you all the same. Nothing in this life is more rewarding than that treasured connection, right?”

“Of course.”

“Twenty-eight years and it’s never been more apparent, everything I ever needed manifested in one person. Because you’re right. We all need to hold onto something. And when you’re fortunate enough to discover that special kind of love, you latch on and never let it go until the day they leave, either by choice or by fate.”

Jamie bows her head and kneels before Dani, kissing the back of her hand. The gardener looks up, her eyes earnest and pleading. “As long as I can keep on loving you, that’s far more than I could ever ask for. Can we see where we go from here, one day at a time?”

Dani flashes a coy smile. “I don’t know about that…I was pretty hurt.”

“Whatever you choose, even if it’s not me, I’ll honor it. But if you ever decide to start from here, give me the signal and I’m there. I’ll work harder, every day, to be the person you deserve; all you have to do is let me take care of you. So…what do you say, Poppins? You in?” Jamie raises her right pinky finger.

Dani ignores the gesture, instead taking both of Jamie’s hands and pulling her up so they stand face to face. The au pair places her hands on the gardener’s shoulders and looks her in the eye.

“Are you implying we should just be friends?” Jamie asks. “If that’s honestly what you want, I can’t blame you. Maybe we can’t pick up exactly where we left off, but we could still build something wonderful together. Please, consider it for an old friend.”

Dani doesn’t speak, instead offering the most foolishly hopeful smile she can muster.


	17. The Storyteller

“Don’t know about you, but when I turned eight I begged my folks for a new bike,” Jamie said, moving across the creaky floorboards and dodging clouds of dust.

“Now if this is how Flora wishes to spend her birthday, I say we spoil her,” Hannah replied.

December had arrived at Bly Manor, and its residents gathered in the attic, laying out pillows and blankets for a sleepover.

“I find it rather peaceful up here,” Dani said, shuffling a deck of cards, as a sense of lightness situated in her chest. “Flora, what’re we playing?”

The night commenced over games of Old Maid and slices of Owen’s Banofee pie. Then it was light’s out, and Dani pulled the covers over her shoulders, peering out the window at the starry night.

“Miss Clayton!”

Dani stood before the dresser mirror, her polished face staring back without any glimpse of Eddie. She smoothed the edges of the elegant, ivory dress hugging her frame.

“Perfectly splendid, you are,” Flora beamed, bounding into the bedroom. “When it’s your wedding, you get to be the Queen of Bly. Come now.”

“But who…” Dani found herself being whisked away across the hallway and into the foyer by an overeager young girl. Another bride awaited, took one look at her, and mouthed _wow_.

“Jamie?” The au pair blushed at the sight of the gardener clad in a white tuxedo as Flora allows them some privacy. “So apparently I’m getting married today.”

“I bet,” Jamie replied. “Soon I’ll be as well.”

“Never took you as the type to place your faith in institutions. Do I know this person?”

“Ay, only if they’re worth it. I reckon you might know this one.”

“Is it Owen? He’s an excellent catch…as a person, not as seafood, I mean.”

“I agree, but you see, menfolk don’t exactly strike my fancy.”

“Oh, I’m sorry! Hannah then?”

“Woman’s a goddess but Owen can have her.” Jamie laughed before whispering in Dani’s ear. “It’s you, Poppins.”

It took Dani several seconds to process the words, affirmation she secretly desired but never held within the realm of possibility. “Honestly? Don’t joke around about this because I can’t…”

“Hey.” Jamie gripped Dani by the arms. “Danielle Elizabeth Clayton, I pledge to show you just how much you’re adored for as long as I hold that privilege. And I must say, never thought you could look any more gorgeous yet here you are.”

“Are they okay with it? With us…we’d be unconventional to say the least.”

“They’re delighted, thrilled.” The gardener moved her hands down the au pair’s arms, encouraging her to loosen up.

“I…I think this is still a bit soon, but…if I’m going to share my future with anybody, I’d be honored to be doing this with you. It’s all so surreal, is this really…”

“Come love, let’s not keep everyone waiting.” Jamie took Dani by the hand to escort her away. The au pair stayed put, and the gardener turned around in concern. “Is it the pre-wedding jitters? Having second thoughts?” She sighed. “Look, if this isn’t what you want, we don’t have to go through with the ceremony. As long as I’m with you, my heart is beyond content.”

“When I first met you, this force was nudging me forward, insisting you were the one. It was the first time I experienced certainty, when it actually clicked that this is love.”

Jamie laughed. “Still can’t wrap my head around it, how you can look at this sorry piece of damaged goods and think, ‘yeah, I want that one.’ Completely boggles my mind.”

Dani gazed at Jamie admiringly, placing her hands on her beloved’s shoulders. “We could get married today…or we could get married years from now. In fact, we don’t even need to get hitched in order for it to mean something to us. Either way, I can’t explain it but…I know it’s you. It’s always been and always will be. Jamie Corrigan, I…”

Jamie leaned over to press their lips together, immersing them in affection that filled their broken souls.

When they finally parted, Dani was relieved to find her beloved smiling. “Shall we?” Jamie asked, offering an arm. Dani accepted, and together they made their way to the chapel, arm in arm. Their friends were already inside, and Owen stood at the altar with a wide grin, ready to officiate.

After the wedding, Dani awakened naturally, basked in warmth. Her hands instinctively reached around her, grasping for who knows what, and she peered over at Jamie, snoozing peacefully across the room.

Dani longed to go back, return to her dreams, to a world that could never materialize in reality. Before she could resume her slumber, Flora marched up and down the attic.

“It’s almost noon!” Flora declared. “Time to share. What did everyone dream?”

Owen released a yawn and rubbed his eyes. “My mum. We were frying samosas in the kitchen, back when I was your age. I could still smell the spices, hear the sizzle of the pan.”

“Nothing exciting, just another day at the manor with all of you lovelies beside me,” Hannah shared, and she turned to Jamie, who appeared particularly displeased at being disturbed. “Don’t. Don’t say it.”

“Plants,” Jamie replied regardless. “The most awe-inspiring, sweet-scented, brilliantly-hued plants I’ve seen in all my years on this earth.”

Hannah shook her head and turned to Dani. “Lives, eats, and breathes it. When it comes to her sweet flowers, she’s like a tiger on catnip.”

“Mum and dad,” Miles volunteered next. “We were visiting America, like they’d promised before they passed.”

“And you, Miss Clayton?” Flora asked.

Dani froze…how could she possibly disclose her dream? “I…I was getting married at Bly…’

“I see, and the groom is…?”

“Uh…you know what? Dreams can be fuzzy memories. I mean, there wasn’t any symbolism behind it, really. Why don’t we get ready for the day? Who’s hungry?”

They descended the attic, stowing their blankets and pillows before heading to the kitchen.

“I’m surprised Miles didn’t mention video games,” Flora said, clutching onto Dani’s hand. “You know why I wanted that sleepover?” The au pair shook her head. “Last summer, our cousins were visiting and we played hide and seek. I ended up falling asleep in the attic, and it was there I had the most wondrous dream.”

“It’s your birthday, but you wanted to give everyone a gift,” Dani replied.

Flora nodded. “That room is different from the rest of the manor. Everything positive moves up. I believe your attic dreams reflect your deepest desire.”

Over at the kitchen table, Dani took a seat next to Jamie. “So plants, is it?”

“Of the most fascinating variety,” Jamie said, lifting a pitcher of juice and pouring her friend a cup. “A dream so incredible I was fighting to stay in it if not for the little gremlin.”

“So absolutely nothing else. Whatsoever. No people involved.”

“Come to think of it, you were in it, oddly enough.”

“So you’re not a solo traveler. What was I doing?”

“We were exploring, immersed in the wonder of it all. You discovered a Middlemist Red and called me over and we…” Jamie trailed off. “Sweet little Flora woke me up at that point. Interesting dream. What about you…you remember the bloke you married?”

Dani grinned. “Let’s just say it’s someone I care for deeply and leave it at that.”

“Cheers to that.” Jamie lifted her drink, and they clinked their glasses of juice.

***

Winter 2017

By the time Jamie returns to the grounds of Bly, the lake had long since dried, making way for a grassy field.

The gardener exits the cab alone, one hand rolling a suitcase and the other clutching a large bouquet. Her hair is gray with streaks of white and wrinkles adorn her face, a testament to scars both internal and external. When she enters through the manor doors, the chatter begins to die down.

“Jamie Corrigan, speak of the devil!”

Owen struts across the foyer, enveloping his old friend in a crushing embrace. “Now, they tell me there’s no WiFi, 4G, or cell reception in these parts…So I suppose we’re forced to talk to each other.”

“Oh shut it, Sharma,” Jamie replies. “It’s nice to see you too.”

“If only she was still here with us,” Owen replies. “She loved Bly, and Flora.” There is no need to elaborate who. “Let me help you with that.” He picks up the luggage.

“Is this for us?” Flora steps forward, accepts the floral arrangement, and inhales its scent. “You’ve really outdone yourself. This is the most stunning bouquet I’ve ever seen.”

“But is it…perfectly splendid?”

“None of you are ever going to let that go, will you? Not even for the bride.”

Jamie grins. It is hard to imagine young Flora is now the same age as the gardener when she left Bly. “Wouldn’t bet on it. Say, when did you become taller than me?”

“Since university.” Flora rolls her eyes. “Did you bring the pictures? Let’s see them.”

“Certainly, but are you sure on the timing? It is your big day, after all.”

“The wedding isn’t until tomorrow. We have time before dinner. How about we gather in the living room in...ten minutes?”

After retrieving the album from her suitcase, Jamie waits for the bride and groom, who appear with a few close guests including Owen and Miles.

“Is this the former gardener of Bly?” A strapping gentleman with an American accent approaches Jamie and offers a firm handshake. “Call me Lance, better known as Mr. Flora Wingrave. Pleasure we could finally meet.”

Flora introduces Jamie as her guests take a seat. “It’s my honor to welcome someone very close to my family. Someone who’s taught me more about love simply by example. She has a very special story to share about the haunting of Bly Manor.” She turns to the gardener. “The floor is yours.”

“Didn’t mean to steal the spotlight, but as a favor to the bride I’m more than happy to indulge,” Jamie says, opening the album. “Full disclosure – this is not so much a ghost story as it is a tribute to Flora’s au pair, the bravest person I know and the one I love with all my heart.”

Jamie begins her tale with Dani’s tenure at Bly Manor. How the au pair confronted her guilt over Eddie’s death and how they broke the Lady’s curse.

When Miles interrupts to inquire about their relationship, the gardener transitions to their love story. Dani claimed to have felt a spark the instant they met, but Jamie moved at a slower pace, prioritizing the foundation of their relationship over its speed.

After returning to London, Dani agreed to give Jamie another chance. Since then, they stuck together through the highs and lows, witnessing their love deepen and thrive. They faced their share of disagreements, certainly, but their commitment to one another was never in doubt. While their relationship wasn’t always perfect, it came pretty damn close. Occasionally, Owen would badger the gardener, inquiring when she was _poppin_ ’ the question.

Eight years after reuniting, the couple finally toured the Cliffs of Moher together. Jamie brought a guitar along, performing her original song and ending it with a proposal. Without hesitation, Dani said yes before revealing a ring of her own – beaten to the punch by just a few seconds. Months later, they became one of the first couples in the United Kingdom to obtain a civil partnership.

As Miles and Flora matured, they no longer required a caretaker. Henry offered the couple a business loan, and with it they opened a flower shop. They entered the type of blissful boredom Jamie longed for, and she was deeply touched by Dani’s willingness to shelve her career plans in order to support her partner’s passion.

Their old friends were never far away – Henry had helped Owen open his own restaurant in London while Miles and Flora still called regularly. Three years ago, Jamie and Dani were finally able to officially trade in their partnership for legal marriage.

“I wish you could meet her,” Jamie says, passing the album along as her eyes mist. “She’s the most remarkable person I’ve had the privilege of knowing – my apologies, Sharma.”

“No offense taken.” Owen grins.

“I remember that moment of separation before we moved to London,” Flora says. “I’d never seen either of you so sad. The rationale was because of the pain of eventually losing her?”

“One of several reasons,” Jamie replies.

“I think of that same dilemma after my parents passed. What do you believe now? Would the pain of loss cancel out all the good times you spent together?”

Jamie sighs. “Your mum once told me there’s beauty through the pain. Didn’t think much of it at the time, but she’s right. Losing someone you care for more than your own life, nothing could possibly hurt more. But I’ll tell you this. There’s nothing in this world that will ever make me regret falling for my wife, loving her, sharing a life together. I’d do it all over again, a thousand times. I’m the lucky one in this arrangement.”

Lance nods in understanding, holding Flora a little closer.

“Can you entertain the guests for a little while?” Flora whispers to her groom. “There’s something I need to ask her.”

As the guests disperse, Flora takes a seat beside Jamie, returning the album. “I couldn’t find the photograph Hannah took of you and Mrs. Clayton in the kitchen, from the day you revealed the relationship.”

“Ay, you’ve got the memory of an elephant.” Jamie flips through the album. “She would’ve included that one if she still had it.”

“I wish my father was here. I miss both of them…so much,” Flora croaks.

Jamie places a comforting hand on the bride’s shoulder. “Death doesn’t mean it never happened. It’s just the end of the book, no new chapters. But you can always go back and glean wisdom from its pages.”

“Mrs. Corrigan, I would like to ask you for a favor. As you know, my parents aren’t with us to walk me down the aisle. I had hoped for Mrs. Clayton, but she isn’t here either. Mr. Sharma is officiating, and Miles is one of Lance’s groomsmen…”

“You know I’d do anything for you, but your au pair was supposed to give you away,” Jamie interrupts. “I can’t possibly fill those shoes.”

“Please. I wouldn’t be asking unless I was absolutely certain.”

“All right, but only if you cannot come up with anyone more suitable by tomorrow.”

“Thank you.” Flora wraps Jamie in an embrace. “You’re fine with staying in Mrs. Clayton’s old bedroom tonight? We deep cleaned it, put in clean bed sheets.”

“That would be lovely. I’ll see you at dinner.”

That night, Jamie paces around the bedroom, which appears more or less how Dani had left it. She turns on the bathtub faucet, surprised to find it still functioning. As she peers over the bath, a tear trickles down her cheek and drips into the pool of water below. Oh, how she missed her.

Jamie dials Dani’s number, knowing she can’t possibly answer. The gardener sits on the bed and opens the album, a visual chronology of their life since Bly. She had never been appreciative of photographs, but her wife had insisted on preserving their memories: breathtaking views from the Cliffs of Moher, opening day at the flower shop, their anniversary celebration at Owen’s restaurant.

Overnight, the foyer is completely transformed for the wedding ceremony, with the altar set up in front of the regal staircase.

“Ready to do this?” Jamie smiles, offering an arm to Flora as they rehearse the traditional giving away of the bride.

Suddenly, a hushed silence overtakes the foyer as the front doors open. “I’m so sorry for being late.”

Jamie turns around, and her heart swells. Dani arrives, looking beautiful and radiant as always. The gardener rushes over and throws her arms around her wife. “You made it.”

“The snowstorms stopped, and I was able to book the last flight,” Dani replies, hugging Jamie back before removing her coat. “Flora, are you still looking for someone to walk you down the aisle?”

“She’s all yours.” Jamie grins.

“How was she?” Dani asks Flora, flashing a mischievous wink. “Did she behave?”

“Sure did, although she was a complete wreck without you,” Flora teases.

“It was just a few days, silly.” Dani smiles, squeezing Jamie around the waist. “I missed you too. Let’s catch up later, yeah? Can’t have me messing up Flora’s big day.”

And so on a balmy afternoon at Bly, Flora and Lance solidify their union. As Owen recites the vows, exacting promises from the couple to forever love and cherish one another, Dani turns around from the first aisle, locking eyes with Jamie. Together, they mouth _I do_.

“If anyone objects to this marriage, we don’t care to hear it,” Owen says. “I now pronounce the happy couple husband and wife.”

While the other guests retire for the night, Dani leads Jamie into the woods. Stars illuminate the country skies, lighting their way. Vegetation had long since overrun any clearings, and it takes them a while to locate the secret garden.

“Let me help with that,” Jamie says after her wife spends several minutes shoveling the dirt around a tree. “You must be exhausted from the jet lag.”

“I got it,” Dani insists as beads of sweat coat her neck. Jamie offers a hand and takes the shovel.

Minutes later, Jamie unearths a wooden box and untangles the rope around it. Inside, she recovers a bottle of Mr. Wingrave’s wine. “What’ve we got here? Can we still drink this?”

“I buried it back in 1997, hoping one day we could sit down and enjoy it.”

Jamie opens a manila envelope, uncovering several letters and a Polaroid photograph of them smiling in the kitchen, their arms draped around each other’s shoulders. “Ay, this will make a great addition to the album. Remind me to show this to Flora before we leave tomorrow.”

Lastly, Jamie sifts through the letters she had written to Dani after confessing her feelings. She notices one particular sheet of paper rolled up like a scroll and unties the string. “What’s this?”

“The night you first said you loved me, I couldn’t sleep,” Dani replies. “So I ended up writing you this letter to be opened many years down the line.”

Jamie shines the flashlight on the letter and reads it aloud.

_Dearest,_

_Today will mark the first full day we’ll spend as a couple. It conjures up so many emotions just to write that into words – anticipation, relief, anxiety – but all in the best possible way._

_I remain in awe of your compassionate heart for others, even after all you went through._ _Before you, I have never encountered anyone who made me feel this understood, supported, and loved, someone who can sense exactly what I’m feeling and knows just how to react. You gave me space when I needed it, company when I craved it. When you told me you felt the same way, those words became the most precious gift I ever received._

_Perhaps the start of our relationship would not be the best time to dwell on my fears, of the challenges we’ll face and the mistakes I’ll inevitably make. What would our journey look like in the years still to come? A ship leaving the safety of the harbor to traverse the unexplored sea? Yet I remain confident in our ability to guide it, and there is no other companion I’d want by my side._

_Whichever direction we decide to take, we will be the ones dictating the terms of our relationship and not society. Together we’ll take it day by day, as best friends and equals. And if I ever hurt you, please know that you should never doubt my devotion. For I am here for you, always have and will._

_My love,_

_Poppins_

Jamie shoots her wife a look of _you just killed me_ and wraps them in an embrace. Dani brushes her lips over her wife’s before sinking into a deeper kiss.

“How would you’ve known if we’d make it?” Jamie asks when they finally part.

“I had a hunch.” Dani grins. “Honestly, there were no certainties. But like that moonflower you blossomed, I had to walk through that door to find out.”

“And I’ve been blessed every day as a result of it. Now, should we head back before they send in a search team?”

After the couple reaches the manor, Jamie makes a detour to borrow Miles’ guitar before returning to Dani’s old bedroom.

“Isn’t it a little late for a concert?” Dani teases.

“For all we know, this could be our last night at Bly. What would you like me to play?”

“I think you know the song.”

Jamie strums the same chords she performed for Dani during their first night in the secret garden. The melody cycles through the manor; it wafts into the master bedroom, where Flora and Lance are curled up in bed. Owen hears it as he sits in the kitchen, poring over old photographs of Hannah. Miles retreats from his old bedroom, pauses by the stairway, and smiles.

The gardener croons the lyrics she’d revised over the years, ending with the chorus she sang during her proposal, as the music whisks them back to the Cliffs of Moher.

_When I ask who’ll accept the fool and mess I am,_

_You unquestioningly replied ‘I will’_

_Now it’s my turn, my choice is made_

_You are my moonflower, the one I’ll love forever still_


End file.
